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Capn

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Well, it's like this. You see I needed some the alpacas, for reasons I won't go in to now, but understand, it was an emergency. Now where are you going to get alpacas in Toronto in the middle of June on a Sunday afternoon? Clearly I had to visit Hafez, you know, of Hafez's Alpacas? In the Alpaca district. Anyway, when I got there, Hafez was out, on delivery, seems there was a Zorroastrian wedding (not Zoroastrian, mind you, Zorroastrian, apparently they worship the masked swordsman), and of course, for the couple's first dance they needed the traditional braided alpaca. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I was down at Hafez's, waiting when who comes up to me, but Jimmy-Two-Pants, who I hadn't seen since I did a stretch at Attica, and he's like "Capn!" and I'm like "Two-Pants!" and we did the traditional greeting our our Brotherhood, and right at the part where we throw tomatoes at each other, this van comes whizzing by and clips Jimmy sending him spinning in to the street where he gets run down by this screaming bicycle courrier! And I'm like "Jimmy, oh my God! Are you ok" and he's like "Capn, Capn, I'm not gonna make it, you gotta do something for me" "Anything Jimmy, anything!" "Capn, I got a daughter, she don't know about me, she's in Jersey living with her Aunt, you gotta find her, you gotta tell her about my gold, it's her birthright!" "I'll do it Two-Pants, I swear it!" And he died in my arms.

Anyway, that's why I need to borrow your car.

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