Look, I'm sure there was a time when somebody found you attractive. I mean, they must have to have spent so much time with you. But, y'know, that time has passed. I'll be straight with you: you're dated, gaudy, loud, and, well, kind of unpleasant to look at. Those people have moved on, and it's time you did, too. I'd rather not do this the hard way, but I will if necessary. I'll shred you, separate you from your very essence, and leave you limp and in tatters on the floor. Don't think I won't. I *will* win this fight, because I have what it takes to deal with your type:
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A sharp mudding knife, a wet sponge, and an old-school electric kettle with NO AUTOMATIC SHUT-OFF! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Goddamned fucking wallpaper. Why? WHY?!?!?!?