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24 September 2007
Aren't we women lucky? A scientist has decreed what perfect breasts look like, and we should probably all start striving for this new ideal. I sure hope your nipples are pointed slightly skyward. This is SCIENCE, people.
Hm. I've reviewed the data (lots and lots of data), and I've come to the following conclusion: Jumblies are good; but surgically enhanced jumblies aren't quite as good as the ones that Mother Nature, in all her jumbly-making glory, makes herself.
Just to be sure, I'll go review some more data. You can never be too careful about things like this. Science demands it.
The worst breasts were those on Posh? I don't thing this guy spent all that much time on research despite his claims. That or his internet feed is seriously broken.
iconomy, maybe so, but once the sense of sight is gone, the other senses--like taste and touch--become even sharper to make up for the loss. So it's all good!
It was just around that time bmarkey. It showed how seeding a few thousand dollars and the promise of a name in the press could get a science type person to do some dumbass study.
A scientist has decreed that the perfect feet on women are no more than three to four inches long with broken, deformed toes, severely ingrown toenails (with accompanying loss of digits optional - or maybe not), and severely atrophied muscles. Neo-footbinding begins... NOW!
I had a beautiful friend who wanted implants. She'd go on and on about it, about how much better she'd thought she'd look and feel. She also never missed a session at the gym and spent a lot of time and money shopping. Meanwhile, she was in her late thirties, she hated her job in insurance, didn't know what she wanted to do, wasn't qualified to do much else, was in a dreadful relationship, needed a lot of counselling, and had no real savings. I wonder if a lot of women who get implants devote a lion's share of their resources to their appearance while neglecting matters that, in the long run, will matter so much more.
Upturned nipples? ☑ Lower half bigger than upper half? ☑
I'm sure that having objective scientific criteria for breast evaluation will be a help and a comfort to 27 year old Isabelle Caro, who now has provably beautiful breasts.
I wish mine were a little ... perkier. But I wouldn't resort to surgery.
A friend of mine, a woman in her 50s and vain as fuck, recently downsized her house to release equity so she could have various bits of surgery done, including a breast lift.
One of her passions in life was running. She ran competitively in veterans races, was president of her running club, ran whenever she could, in her lunch hour, early morning, she ran ran ran.
But after having her breasts lifted she's been told she can't run any more, not even if she wears the most rigid squashy sports bra, because it'll just cause her tits to droop again. Which they will anyway, eventually, over time.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
