MetaChat - Time for another Friday Night Question,

No.

posted by arse_hat 29 April | 16:15

Yes.

posted by jason's_planet 29 April | 16:28

Yes. I hate making phone calls. If I'm calling a close friend, then no, but otherwise, yes. People suck, and not in a good way.

posted by eekacat 29 April | 16:35

Sometimes when I still worked. Since then, rarely.

posted by Ardiril 29 April | 16:38

Rehearse? No. Prepare? Sometimes.

posted by Specklet 29 April | 16:39

theraininspainfallsmainlyontheplain

No, no, no! E. Nun. See. Ate. Like this: The Rrrrrain! In... SPAIN! FalllllllzzzZZ mainlllleeee....

on the PLAIN!

Now you try it. Once more, WITH FEELING!

theraininspainfallsmainlyontheMOTHERFUCKINGplainassholeyou'refired

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 29 April | 16:47

Not very often, but I certainly have.

posted by JanetLand 29 April | 16:50

For task-oriented calls, I almost always run through an opening statement in my head and tally up my questions or points of interest. I don't rehearse in the sense of saying it out loud, though if I'm running over the phone call while doing some mindless task, I might catch myself muttering, too.

posted by Elsa 29 April | 16:53

I did a few times, when calling women for dates, or when wanting to talk to someone I was going out with but fearing not having anything to say.

Long time ago.

posted by danf 29 April | 16:55

Wait, wait, wait: That wasn't the answer I wanted to give! Hold on, I've got a better answer, it's coming to me...

Crap. I forgot what I was going to say. Never mind.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 29 April | 17:01

Sometimes. I prefer email to the phone.

posted by brujita 29 April | 17:15

Yes, if it's a call to a business. When I call friends I usually have some idea of what I'm going to talk about. I don't use the phone for just chat.

posted by Senyar 29 April | 17:18

Yes. Hate the phone. When email was invented, I was a little astonished how they invented something just for me.

posted by Melismata 29 April | 17:37

Always.

posted by sperose 29 April | 17:46

All the time. Especially if it is to some sort of bureaucratic thing like my health insurance or car insurance company.

posted by fancyoats 29 April | 17:49

I have before but not usually. I really never know what's going to pop out of my mouth, but I'm not on the phone much.

posted by ethylene 29 April | 18:03

Yes :(
I hate the phone more than the rest of you combined.

posted by DarkForest 29 April | 18:21

Yes. And I don't know about that DarkForest. The hate I have for phones cannot be contained by this universe.

posted by deborah 29 April | 18:44

I always rehearse, and if I get thrown off my script I usually fail to recover promptly, thus sending me into a downward spiral of social anxiety. I don't have this problem in face to face communications, I'm not sure why the phone is special.

posted by titus n. owl 29 April | 18:47

I probably should add that whenever I did rehearse, I always ended up sounding rehearsed. This often resulted in an even more awkward moment than otherwise.

posted by Ardiril 29 April | 18:56

I rehearse not only phone conversations, but all kinds of conversations. I have a daydreaming disorder.

posted by jeoc 29 April | 19:13

What Specklet said. I never rehearse, but on rare occasion, I do sorta prepare.

I also try to avoid calling people when possible. Well, I mean, except for friends, though I do prefer to talk in person or email them too.

posted by richat 29 April | 19:13

I don't enjoy talking on the phone to people I don't know, but the idea of rehearsing never occurred to me. Maybe it should have. I was once news director at a small-town radio station and did a LOT of phone interviews, which I think is where my aversion to phone conversations came from.

posted by BoringPostcards 29 April | 19:51

Never, and I often end up sounding like an idiot.

posted by fleacircus 29 April | 20:15

Absolutely. I loathe talking on the phone.

posted by gaspode 29 April | 20:24

Not out loud, but yes.

posted by JoanArkham 29 April | 20:44

Another phone hater here. So I think it through in advance to keep the phone time as short as possible. I only go so far as to rehearse when it is something like an interview with a reporter, though.

posted by bearwife 29 April | 21:09

Detest talking on the telephone. Don't rehearse so much as plan how I can make the call as short as possible.

posted by tortillathehun 29 April | 21:35

So now we know why we see people saying, "Why do people text when they could just CALL me?" (Because yeah, I do it too...)

posted by BoringPostcards 29 April | 21:45

I used to hate phone calls. And then I stopped getting them. Now they are precious JEWELS. :)

posted by JanetLand 29 April | 21:51

ah, well I also hate texting when there is something more complex to convey than "running 10min late" or something similar. I don't mind phone calls so much when it's a simple information sharing exercise. I just don't like chatting on the phone.

Part of that, admittedly, is that I have a tendency to ramble and lose my point. (ALL the time. And it's getting worse as I get older.) and I am kind of self-conscious about it, but don't really notice until I'm in the middle of doing it. And being on the phone exacerbates that.

posted by gaspode 29 April | 21:59

Well... I sometimes *prepare*, which I sometimes do for face-to-face convs as well. That might mean things like making a list of matters that should be covered, and gathering any items I'll need to refer to.

Rehearse? Well not exactly, though in the past there have been times when I was calling back clients of an org, had not previously personally spoken to those people myself, and there were sort-of-protocols on how to do that. And in those situations your training might also include mock-calls to practice on.

But I don't see how you could word-for-word rehearse when you don't know what the other person will actually say.

Well, if you are often explaining the same hard-to-communicate concepts, I guess you might develop some tried and tested ways of getting them across.

Why do people text when they could just CALL me?"

I think common reasons include:

- You are scary to them
- People in general are scary
- They don't want to interrupt you in what you are doing
- They don't want an actual conversation because that may go on a while
- They don't wanna have to explain
- They're in a place where they can't easily talk
- They think you may be in a place where you can't easily talk
- Some of the above apply so often that texting is their default choice regardless of the particular circumstances

posted by philipy 29 April | 22:36

I hate the phone. I would just as soon throw the whole thing out the window except for friends and family. But I have to use the phone for my job. So yes, I do rehearse - not out loud, but I typically write down 3 or 4 points to cover and practice the opener in my head.

The phone is so freaking awkward. When do you stop talking? When do they? No visual cues! No written prompts! Ugh.

posted by Miko 29 April | 22:39

Yes.

posted by Luminous Phenomena 29 April | 22:55

But I don't see how you could word-for-word rehearse when you don't know what the other person will actually say.

I get so nervous about telephone use that I literally only call people if I have a really pressing need, like if I have to call a business for business reasons. When you're calling a business, the opening is very likely to be a standard non-conversational opener, and I rehearse what I'm going to say to get across the reason I'm calling and get my answer as efficiently as possible so I can stop being on the phone with a quickness.

posted by titus n. owl 30 April | 03:25

I do for anything work or task related plus write out a checklist beforehand complete with little Y|N squares to tick off for the answers to the questions I'm planning to ask. If I don't, I'll forget at least half of what the other person said by the end of the call (verbal input is haaaaaarrrrddd). I don't prepare for calls w/ friends though.

posted by jamaro 30 April | 03:44

Like others, not so much rehearse as prepare. Also like others, hate using the phone and would much prefer to e-mail or text.

posted by dg 30 April | 05:05

I just realized that I'm perfectly happy to chat with mi amigos over Skype, but talking to those very same friends by picking up my telephone and calling their telephone freaks me out. I have no idea why this is.

posted by titus n. owl 30 April | 05:59

Sometimes.

posted by stynxno 30 April | 08:20

I rehearse sometimes.

When someone calls me and wakes me up, either in the morning or when I'm napping, I quickly say "Hello" six or seven times before I answer, to get the sleep out of my voice.

When I have an important call to make, I open the window and look out at the sky, or look at some photos of people I love to make me smile, because it's important to sound relaxed, smiling, and confident over the telephone. My phone ringer is myself playing guitar, which always tickles me so I answer with a grin.

But truly, aside from say my brother and dad and maybe three or four other people, I don't relish phone calls and generally wish they were shorter or nonexistent.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 April | 10:51

Detest talking on the telephone. Don't rehearse so much as plan how I can make the call as short as possible.

This is what rehearsing does for me: I get to run through a few possible openers, nail down my main points, and reduce the overall time spent trying to [ask clear questions/make clear statements/arrange meetings].

I got into the habit in retail. I managed lots of the front-office stuff (orders, billing, returns to manufacturers), but necessarily did so from the front of the store, where customers were shopping. I got really good at summing up my points quickly (to free up the phone for other uses) and at getting hard-nosed demands across in the calmest, most cordial language.

posted by Elsa 30 April | 11:31

One of my favorite telephone calls ever took place at the boutique: I picked up the ringing phone as I was writing up a sale for a customer. It was my long-time partner-sort-of-it's-complicated, calling to see if I was free that night.

E: [shop name], can I help you?
P: It's me.
E: I'm with a customer, can I call you back?
P: Dinner?
E: Shalimar*?
P: 6?
E: 6:15.
P: See you then. Love you.
E: You too.
Click!

*Our favorite place, a local Indian restaurant.

Ten seconds or less. The customer said, "Now that was impressive!"

posted by Elsa 30 April | 11:46

titus: I also find talking over Skype easy. I have no idea why it's different, but it is.

posted by deborah 30 April | 19:06

When someone calls me and wakes me up, either in the morning or when I'm napping, I quickly say "Hello" six or seven times before I answer, to get the sleep out of my voice

This never works for me. I feel like I can never bluff about having just woke up.

posted by mullacc 30 April | 20:54

Yes. If I'm calling a stranger I am always very uncomfortable. For friends, no.

posted by Splunge 01 May | 15:25

No, not anymore. But when I was a teenager and about to talk to a boy I liked on the phone, I'd often write down 5 conversation items to fall back on if there was lull, because that would have been THE WORST!1!
Funny, I hadn't thought about that in forever and this question just brought back those lists and that cordless phone and me tucked into the corner of the wall and bed with my paper in front of me very clearly.
I wish I had some of those lists now to read, I forget what was on them.

posted by rmless2 01 May | 21:26

29 April 2011