MetaChat - My mom died

O Hugh, I am so sorry. I am not even certain what to say, and I've gone through that fairly recently.

I am sending every good thought I can muster. Please be good to yourself. Best to you.

posted by Sil 20 February | 18:53

I'm here if you need me. Anything you need, just call, friend.

posted by jonmc 20 February | 18:56

Sweetie.

Ach, too young, like CC's dad. This (middle) age of ours, it's so hard to say goodbye to the ones who brought us up.

posted by Claudia_SF 20 February | 18:57

I'm so sorry for your loss. If i were there, I'd give you a hug.

posted by seanyboy 20 February | 18:58

Hugh Janus - I'm so very sorry.

It's normal to feel lost. Don't stress about that. There will be sadness. Possibly anger. It's so overwhelming to go through this.

No matter what you feel right now just remember - it's all OK. Feel what you need to whenever.

posted by gomichild 20 February | 19:00

Oh, Hugh, I am so sorry...You are in my thoughts and prayers.

posted by redvixen 20 February | 19:01

Oh, Hugh Janus, I am so so sorry. Let me know if there's anything I can do beyond continue to send warm thoughts your way.

posted by Stewriffic 20 February | 19:03

My condolences.

posted by mullacc 20 February | 19:05

Hugh, so sorry for your loss.

posted by Firas 20 February | 19:05

Oh, Hugh, I'm so sorry.

It really does get easier, I promise. That doesn't help now, but in a day or a week or a month, it might be comforting.

posted by Elsa 20 February | 19:06

I'm so sorry, Hugh.

posted by NucleophilicAttack 20 February | 19:07

So sorry to hear this, Hugh. Take care of yourself. *hugs*

posted by goshling 20 February | 19:08

Sorry Hugh.

posted by doctor_negative 20 February | 19:09

Hugh Janus, I am very very sorry for your loss.

posted by rainbaby 20 February | 19:17

Sorry Hugh....

posted by Doohickie 20 February | 19:20

I'm really sorry for your loss, Hugh. From the stories you've told about her, she sounds like a great mom.

posted by gaspode 20 February | 19:24

My condolences, Hugh.

posted by Ardiril 20 February | 19:29

I am so, so sorry. Stick close to us, if you need to, my friend.

posted by essexjan 20 February | 19:30

I'm so sorry for your loss, Hugh. Take care of yourself.

posted by deborah 20 February | 19:37

Big hug. Don't worry about thinking too far ahead. I'm so sorry. My sincerest condolences.

posted by Miko 20 February | 19:42

I'm so sorry for your loss. From all you have said she sounded like phenomonal gal

posted by kellydamnit 20 February | 19:45

Bleh, I'm sorry hugh.

posted by CitrusFreak12 20 February | 19:54

Ack. That's so young, I'm so sorry HG.

posted by octothorpe 20 February | 19:55

I am so, so sorry to hear this...

Some things not even a whuffle can make better.

Hugs to you, friend.

posted by bunnyfire 20 February | 19:58

Oh, Hugh, I'm so terribly sorry -- my deepest, deepest condolences. My heart goes out to you. I hope the love and support of your friends may bring some comfort.

posted by scody 20 February | 20:06

My condolences, Hugh.

posted by richat 20 February | 20:27

Hugh, I am so sorry.

posted by LoriFLA 20 February | 20:39

I am so sorry for your loss.

posted by meeshell 20 February | 20:45

I'm really sorry, Hugh. Just be.

posted by chewatadistance 20 February | 20:53

That's so sad. I'm sorry to hear it.

posted by theora55 20 February | 21:02

Dude - I've been there, man. I saw both of my parents go. E-mail me if you need anything.

Seriously. I've been right where you are now.

I wish you peace, and it will get better.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 20 February | 21:08

I'm so sorry, Hugh Janus.

posted by initapplette 20 February | 21:11

I'm really sorry for your loss.

posted by eatdonuts 20 February | 21:16

So very sorry Hugh.

posted by special-k 20 February | 21:16

I'm so sorry for how you and your family must be hurting now. I hope the pain of your loss will pass quickly, and that your friends can help you bear it.

posted by notquitemaryann 20 February | 21:21

So sorry, HJ. Warmest condolences to you and your family.

posted by Pips 20 February | 21:49

(((Hugh)))

posted by rhapsodie 20 February | 22:16

I'm so so sorry.

Thoughts go out to you and yours at the moment. x

posted by jonathanstrange 20 February | 22:17

My condolences, Hugh. I'm sorry to hear this.

posted by halonine 20 February | 22:29

(sakura here, for both of us)
Pie-mom is 70. Sakura-mom is 61. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I hope you know that you really did something special to let us be here for you, inasmuch as posts can. You've reminded us how special moms are.

Hugs, bunnie Hugh.

posted by pieisexactlythree 20 February | 22:30

Hugh, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say.

Just . . . sorry that you've lost someone you love. I'm glad that she was happy at the end.

posted by jason's_planet 20 February | 22:32

Aw man.
So sad.
I find there's more than only loss and sadness when a loved one dies though. It can be so incredibly moving to contemplate their life in its entirety; the beginning, before you were born, how different times were back then, the middle, when you were a kid, the later years; the challenges they faced, the successes and joys.
Strength! (as we say in NL)

posted by jouke 20 February | 22:58

I'm so sorry.

I don't know if you're a "I need to read instructions for this sort of thing" person (I tend to be), but I've found that the brochures from Victoria Hospice are really, really well written and helpful.

Be kind to yourself. Grief is exhausting work.

posted by occhiblu 20 February | 23:10

I'm really sorry. It sounds like it was unexpected.

posted by danf 20 February | 23:36

Dude, I am so sorry. Your mom was the same age as mine. We don't expect to lose them so soon. *hug*

posted by BoringPostcards 20 February | 23:45

Aw, I'm sorry for your loss. Victoria Hospice (in occhiblu's link) is where my Mom died. Be sure to accept help when it's offered, and reach out if you need more. Take care.

posted by nelvana 21 February | 00:05

I'm sorry, HJ.

posted by brujita 21 February | 00:17

Yeah, it gets easier, but it never gets easy. My dad died 7 years ago, and a stupid Crispin Glover video brought me to tears just last week.

Do I remember correctly that your family is in the DC area? Let me know if you want to get away for a beer or something.

posted by mrmoonpie 21 February | 00:37

So very sorry to hear this Hugh. It's been over 30 years since my mom died but I found myself thinking of her today. You may be lost but I know you have many people who will hold up a light for you.

posted by arse_hat 21 February | 01:00

Oh, Hugh, my god, I'm so, so sorry. I'm helpless to provide any comfort with words, but please know I have you in my heart.

posted by taz 21 February | 01:24

Wow, you feel lost--and here I am at a loss for word's. She died at 67--a good run--and was happy. I think she was also happy having such a good son--you've helped me out in the past--and I always felt like being more like you. Be strong Hugh, and by strong I mean--cry if you want to--nothing's gonna happen if you do. Sound's like you lost a great mother.

posted by hadjiboy 21 February | 01:30

Hugs, Hugh.
I don't have enough other words.

posted by lilywing13 21 February | 06:25

Hugs from me too - I'm not so good with words but hugs I can do just fine.

posted by dg 21 February | 07:06

I'm so sorry to hear that, mate. Like many others I can't offer much other than to say you are in my thoughts. I was going to say be strong enough to allow yourself to grieve, but I see hadjiboy has already said that. Take care.

posted by GeckoDundee 21 February | 10:20

Hugh, I am so sorry to hear this. Please take care of yourself.

posted by msali 21 February | 13:10

Hugh, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 20 some years ago and sometimes I still feel lost too. I think that's OK. I know it gets better. Hugs.

posted by jamaro 21 February | 14:33

I'm so sorry for your loss. Warm thoughts to you and your family.

posted by Twiggy 21 February | 16:36

I just heard about this. I'm so sorry for your loss.

posted by TrishaLynn 21 February | 21:16

I'm sorry, Hugh.

posted by box 21 February | 21:43

I'm very sorry for your loss.

posted by exlotuseater 22 February | 04:26

Thanks to all of you for your kind words, I'm taking care of my dad now, for awhile, I think. My brother's family was here until this afternoon, and they left the dog for us; he's a great help, someone to pet while we talk about her and to walk when we can't.

I've been doing a lot of chores; one thing my mom taught me is that cleaning is therapy. Thanks, mom, that's foresight for you.

It's easier to write some things, easier to talk about some things, but maybe it's just not easy at all, in general, so I don't know how often I'll be dropping in in the next few weeks. My mom was the kind of person, she bragged about other people's kids. She liked pretty much everyone, with cause or without, and so I can confidently say she would have liked each of you, without reservations.

This is really hard, so I'm going to stop.

posted by Hugh Janus 22 February | 16:02

Hugh, how good to see you here --- I've been thinking of you, wondering how you're doing. It sounds like you're managing to take care of yourself even as you take care of others.

posted by Elsa 22 February | 17:03

My condolences.

posted by sperose 22 February | 17:29

don't know how often I'll be dropping in in the next few weeks.

Play it by ear, it's not a time to set big goals or make sweeping promises. You know people will be here with a listening ear when you'd like that. And if we don't see you for a while, we know you have good reasons, and will be thinking of you anyway. Hoping for good sleep and loving surroundings for you.

posted by Miko 22 February | 17:46

It's such a difficult thing to fathom - my condolences.

My Dad was the same age when he died. I still miss him to this day. There will be times when I wish I could tell him something, ask his advice, just have a little more time with him.

You and your family will miss her so very much. Peace.

posted by mightshould 23 February | 08:01

20 February 2009