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02 August 2008

Asking MeCha: What do I do with this ... inflatable ... toy? [More:]Many years ago, when we got married, back before the divorce, my betrothed was given a blow up doll. Dallas Alice. I have no reason to believe she's seen action, as it were. She's been used for many a practical joke. But I'm moving. Pretty sure Goodwill won't take her. Pretty certain Salvation Army won't. It's quite odd to throw a life-sized replicant in the garbage.

Not a very serious question, so please feel free to improvise.

I don't know what to do with the doll but as soon as I read the name of it, Little Feat's song Willin popped into my head:
I been warped by the rain, driven by the snow
I'm drunk and dirty don't ya know, and I'm still, willin'
Out on the road late at night, Seen my pretty Alice in every head light
Alice, Dallas Alice
posted by octothorpe 02 August | 16:28
H.O.V. Lane "companion", or leave her where drivers pick up their HOV lane riders.
posted by DarkForest 02 August | 16:31
Craigslist, if you could stand dealing with the kind of person who would be interested in a used doll.
posted by rhapsodie 02 August | 16:55
I'm mildly tempted to inflate her, and send her on a river trip. But it would not be environmentally responsible. It would be amusing, expect for kids saying "Mommy, Daddy, that doll has a weird mouth." She's so not sexy.
posted by theora55 02 August | 17:24
River trip, but put some other mask on her, so she won't look so ... surprised.
posted by StickyCarpet 02 August | 17:32
Ewwww, craigslist, wonder if I could make best of (worst of) CL.
Pre-loved petrochemical companion seeks new home. I've been abandoned by another. Pics on request.

With a bandanna on, she could be a river pirate!

It's been a long day of attic cleaning; bear with me.
posted by theora55 02 August | 18:18
Use her as a jello mold and then throw a party.
posted by arse_hat 02 August | 19:09
Do you know any artists who might want to do something with an artistic statement, I mean?

posted by Miko 02 August | 19:21
Inflate her and bungie her to the grill of a truck.
posted by plinth 02 August | 20:04
Introduce her to Cinci Cindy, or San Fran Pam.

posted by Pips 02 August | 20:16
Glue a wig to the head, dress it in old clothing, and send it off to float face-down in the river. Stand back and watch the laughs as people play the popular party games "retrieve the body" and "what sick asshole would do this".
posted by cmonkey 03 August | 09:46
Fill here with helium and set her free. If she comes back to you...and so on.
posted by arse_hat 03 August | 12:15
I live pretty close to you. Between us, I'm thinking we could come up with a prank.

Bring her to the York Beach Meet-up!

Or, riffing on Miko's suggestion, leave her on a bench outside the local art school. Why does that idea make me sad? Am I sad for the art students, or for the doll?
posted by Elsa 03 August | 18:13
I don't know about that helium thing, it might convince someone that the rapture was upon us.
posted by lysdexic 03 August | 21:54
Fill her full of candy and toys and throw a pinata party.
posted by arse_hat 03 August | 22:56
At 4:30pm the last smoke was smoked. || In which I do the unthinkable in my dreams.