I think you just have to close your eyes and jump. If you stand on the ledge too long, you'll lose your self-confidence.

Eat fruit for breakfast and soup for lunch every day for a month. You'll lose weight (soup sticks with you).

I totally identified with this, and something in the last few years just shifted for me, which I didn't really realize until a few months ago when I tried swimming and sucked at it, but so loved the feeling of my brain processing the new information -- I would have dreams about swimming, my form would somehow improve in the times I wasn't in the pool, and I could just feel my body and brain trying to puzzle out how this whole "moving forward in weird liquid" thing worked.

I'm not sure what switched. I suspect a large part of it was going back to school (which I've always loved) and getting back into that mode of regular intellectual discovery; while my attitude going into school was, "I don't want to learn all this, I want to know it so I can change careers and do what I want," it made me realize how much I do enjoy the learning process, not just knowledge. I also suspect that my yoga teacher helped a great deal, as she's amazingly good at focusing on learning about yourself through poses, especially poses that you're "bad" at or that you hate, rather than trying to achieve a static perfect shape.

And, too, last year I was reading about how neurons can continue to grow your entire life, if you challenge your brain with new information and new processes your whole life. Which was a nice reminder that I'm not really doing myself any favors by being the super-bestest at everything... in fact, I'm killing my brain. :-)

One concrete thing that I think has helped: In yoga, I try to pay attention to how my body reacts when I'm told to do a pose that I hate. For me, it's generally that my stomach clenches, I grimace, and a lovely internal dialog starts up about how you're not the boss of me and I don't wanna do this and this pose sucks and you suck and why can't I do something I'm good at instead? Then I'll half-heartedly try the pose and generally give up pretty quickly.

Which leads me to believe I've got some ego issues. :-)

What my yoga teacher has pointed out, and what I certainly notice to be true, is that whatever attitude I'm approaching those poses with is probably the same attitude I'm approaching other difficult situations in my "real life" with. And the same techniques work to overcome both -- continuing to breathe, and to get more interested in noticing what's going on in my head and body than in either overcoming it or surrendering to it. Then, when I start getting grumpy about something, I can think, "Huh, interesting. Wonder where that's coming from?" rather than getting caught up in a mental rant about how the world sucks.

And it turns out it is interesting, most of the time, and this approach starts to then give me insight into who I am, which is very cool.

So. There you. Long-winded reflections right back at ya.

Sigh... there you go, that should have been...

omg, I'm so much like this. If I don't prove to be good at something almost immediately (or feel bored by it), I move on. I know I've limited myself a lot by this, and yet I've never managed to motivate myself to overcome it.

The most shameful and humiliating consequence of this is my failure to learn Greek beyond what I call "market Greek" (buying things, ordering at a restaurant, the most minor-minor chitchat, etc.). Before I moved here, I had no doubt that I would pick it right up, since I had spent two weeks at a time in various Spanish-language places and would be having whole little chats in Spanish with people there before I left. That overconfidence and the cold shock that it wasn't that easy... but worse, that I felt like a drooling caveman when I was trying to communicate just made me retreat into a safe zone. I realized that the one thing I have always counted on above all else is that I speak (and write) well and that my conversation is usually layered, complex, and playful. I can look good, or not look good, but when people talk to me, they are drawn. When that was stripped away, I felt like I lost myself. Entirely.

So I retreated into the Ugly American zone of taking advantage of the fact that almost everyone speaks English... and you cannot begin to imagine my mortification when someone I'm talking to apologizes for their bad English. Fuck. I feel like stabbing a knife into my own heart. This is truly the thing I'm most ashamed of in my life.

I can't really be inspirational, since I haven't overcome my own problems, but I 100% applaud you in your effort not to be like me. Because in some ways, that totally, totally sucks.

I mostly engage in solitary hobbies. This isn't necessarily intentional, but no one has to know if I suck or not.

I think most people fall into comfort zones.

It sounds like your job is gratifying. You're pursuing a hobby that is rewarding and enjoyable for you. You're striving to better yourself in both departments. You're no slouch.

I'm fearful of branching out too, and I'm surely loads less motivated than you. Pat yourself on the back for pursuing a passion for a lifetime. I flit from hobby to hobby.

At this moment in my life I am walking the path of least resistance. This isn't necessarily admirable, but it works for my life right now. I have a job that isn't particularly challenging. I stare at a cardiac monitor and watch people walk on treadmills. I could be doing something more exciting and challenging. I left a more demanding job because I don't have the desire. Work is important to me, but there are other things in my life that take precedence. I like to socialize too much, I like to volunteer. I want to eat dinner with my family.

If you truly have the desire to do something new then jump right in. Read about it and maybe take some classes. This is what I did when I became increasingly more and more interested in gardening years ago. I took loads of free classes with the county extension. I read like a madwoman, and made lots and lots of mistakes. I still do.

Dropping pounds: You're more likely to be successful if you do something you enjoy. Strap on the iPod and walk to your music, or whatever strikes your fancy. This is good advice that I need to follow more frequently.

Another idea for a push is to commit yourself to something. Book a few sessions with a personal trainer. Or pay for a community education class. I'm not very self-motivated. These sorts of things push me to show up. I'm always glad that I did.

All this being said, what do we get in this life besides a few good meals? If you don't want to do anything besides music, enjoy. Do what you like.

I see this in my bowling league all the time - people come in, but if they're not automagically SUPER DUPER TALENTED at bowling, they get dejected and quit. Sometimes I feel a little insulted - I've been bowling 3 games twice a week for a year, and I've seen a 30 point decrease in my handicap. I work hard for this game!

I feel really uncomfortable when I first try something I'm bad at, but I don't know what motivates me to keep trying it. Sometimes it's circumstances, and sometimes it's just sheer stubbornness. I'm pretty competitive, so I suppose that helps. Take cooking, for example: MuddDude is a great cook, but twice a week he wants ME to cook dinner, since he's got a late class. I'm so embarrased when he's got to eat a crappy dinner that I WANT to get better.

So I guess my advice is to put yourself out there when you're developing a new hobby. Your motivated to do well at work and with music because you've got other people who you perform for, who expect you to do well, and you don't want to let them down. So for exercising, get a running/biking/soccer buddy, or join an intramural league for beginners, and so on.

It's like you're in my head, man. After a lifetime of being content with whatever I have and where ever am in life, I was suddenly put in a position to actually take a good look at my life. Which was something I had never really done before. And for the first time I realized that I walked away from most challenges and focused on things I already knew I'd excel at.

And you hit on the phrase that I've become obsessed with: comfort zone. I realized that I almost never step out of my comfort zone. The second it feels a bit odd, I step back into the comfort zone. It was a weird epiphany, because almost everything that I'm either unhappy with in my life or need to make changes in, are directly related to not wanting to step out of my comfort zone. It was one of those lightning bolt moments, a sudden moment of clarity where I felt I could see more of my life and self than I ever had before. Obviously it's more complex than that, but it was a hell a realization. And it's making it easy to address changes I need/want to make. There's a long road ahead, but it seems a little less confusing now.

altolinguistic:

Anyone identify with this? How did you succeed in overcoming such feelings and embracing new and scary things?

Like I said, I'm still at the early part of the journey, but I think that a good way to start is to try to pick a few little things that you've shied away from and step off that ledge and do them. For me it's been things like putting myself into a few social situations that had made me uncomfortable and tackling a few projects around the house that seemed too intimidating to me. So far several of the things have turned out to not only be horrible, but actually enjoyable. I think once you do a few little things you can start to spread out your comfort zone a bit, and hopefully it'll keep growing throughout your life.

And I've always thought that journals and personal logs were not for me, but recently I've started keeping a journal (actually more of a bullet pointed log) and it's helped focus a bit more. I went through some difficult personal turmoil earlier in the year and I started doing just to commit some of my thoughts to paper so I could focus on what was actually bothering me (and to compare good days and bad days), but then I started using it to set some goals and plan some action items. I've noticed that if it's on paper I can not only refer back to it, but also it seems to make it more real. I made a big list of small, obtainable ways to step out of my comfort zone and am trying to knock a few of them out. In theory I'm developing some new positive habits and gaining some confidence in other area. I've always considered myself very confident, but I learned that I'm confident in the areas of my life that I'm good at, but there were other areas that I just didn't think about and avoid at all costs. I think the goal is to just keep moving forward and always be growing, learning, and becoming a better person. It's scary at times, but there's a thrill to doing something new that you were nervous about and actually enjoying it, or at least knowing that you actually tired it.

Good luck and hopefully you'll enjoy some of the stops along the journey.

And another thing (as if that wasn't already more than enough above) - discussing ANYTHING personal to ANYBODY was a major comfort zone thing for me. I hardly addressed my feelings with myself, so discussing them with anyobdy else, including close friends and family, seemed outright crazy to me. Some work/situational depression forced me to finally break my code of silence and step outside of that comfort zone and actually share some of my feelings with others. It was harder than I thought it would be, and I actually got nervous before I knew I was going to "open up a bit". But since then it's taken a few friendships to another level and strengthened some bonds. I've learned more about some of the people closest to me in the past year than I had rest of my life. And that reward alone has been motivational enough to get me to try stepping out that comfort zone in other ways. Although I'll be honest, posting anything beyond superficial comments and interests in a forum like this still seems a little weird to me. I've written a few things recently and ended up deleting them before hitting post since I was unsure if I wanted to really open that side of me. Obviously today that's not a problem.

My boss is very big on encouraging all of us to push past getting into ruts of doing what is comfortable- because we're building the company from the ground up, once we get a hold on something, we then have to learn how to teach it, so we can pass it along to someone else and focus on something else that needs tackling. And boy, is that hard. So yea, I feel you.

Wow, glad it's not just me! Thanks to all for thoughtful comments. Thing is, I can't have become good at the things I'm good at overnight (though I tend to dismiss my achievements a bit- it does seem to me as though my facility for language learning and music came easily and I don't deserve the credit for what I've done); I jumped in to a new culture and thoroughly learned a new language aged 20, frinstance (no coincidence that I lost 17kg that year, either).

So I have moved out of my comfort zone before, but am worried that a 'window' in my life seems to have closed, somehow, and now my course is set and the old exploratory intrepid me is gone. Could have something to do with now being in a settled relationship and having a mortgage, of course. Anyway, I'm generally pretty happy and haven't anything to complain about- plenty of food for thought as well, which is good...