MetaChat - Help me figure out a behavior to change.

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22 June 2007

Help me figure out a behavior to change. I have to create a "behavior contract" with myself for one of my classes, for which I will change some controllable, measurable aspect of my life for at least one week. Ideas?

post by: occhiblu at: 11:38 | 33 comments

No cursing?

No smoking?

No drinking?

No sugar?

No staying up late?

No masturbating?

No TV?

No Internets?

posted by chuckdarwin 22 June | 11:42

No doing homework.

posted by omiewise 22 June | 11:42

Keep in mind I'm turning it into my professor, who, while a wonderful woman, is not someone I want knowing about certain aspects of my life... :-)

posted by occhiblu 22 June | 11:43

Don't look in the mirror.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 June | 11:44

Instead of quitting some behavior, how about starting one? Write a journal entry every night, or read a new poem. Learn a new word from the dictionary, or read one article from an encyclopedia. Kick a puppy. You know - something small, but out of the ordinary.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 June | 11:47

Goodness! What course are you taking? "How to give yourself OCD. 101"

Saying all that, I'd go for "hand washing".

posted by seanyboy 22 June | 11:47

Heh. It's a course in child and parent therapy. Behavior contracts are big for helping kids create or stop behaviors that drive the parents crazy. I guess she wants us to try it out ourselves before springing it on clients.

IRFH has a great point -- I can also add a new behavior rather than just cutting down/ending an existing behavior.

(And yes, I do feel like a lab rat, why do you ask? Sigh.)

posted by occhiblu 22 June | 11:50

Cut salt from your diet.

posted by mischief 22 June | 11:52

Daily walks.

posted by box 22 June | 11:53

what does your mom want you to do, that you'd mostly rather not do? /evil

posted by taz 22 June | 12:01

Once upon a time, I gave up sarcasm for Lent*.

It was excruciating. I hadn't realized how heavily I rely upon sarcasm every day. I kept having to clamp my mouth shut on my own snide snidery, um, to coin a term. (I am where neologisms come to die.)

*I'm agnostic, but I believe that occasional bouts of deprivation are instructive, and Lent both provides a substantial but reasonable timeframe and assures me some company (which misery loves) from religious friends.

For a sociology assignment, a prof required us to break a small norm regularly for a week and keep a journal of the behavior. I chose staring.

I stared at people on the street, in lecture halls, on the bus, in the grocery store, at the farmer's market. I was surprised by how many people could sense me staring even at the backs of their heads. I was made terrifically uncomfortable by this task, which indicated to me that it was a good choice.

Re-reading your post and commment, I'll add: I'm not sure how measurable either of these is, but they seem akin to the kind of behavior kids might engage in that drives parents nuts.

posted by Elsa 22 June | 12:06

what does your mom want you to do, that you'd mostly rather not do? /evil

Heh. It would have to be my father, and he's surprisingly non-directive in these sorts of matters.

Actually, my parents were always pretty good at not getting into power struggles about behaviors in general. There was a year or so in about third grade when my mother said "STOP SHUFFLING YOUR FEET!!!" every five minutes, but (1) she was right, it's annoying, and (2) I managed to quit it. I can't remember much nagging beyond that.

Perhaps that it why I'm stumped on this assignment.

posted by occhiblu 22 June | 12:06

No killing sprees. You can do it. I believe in you.

posted by jonmc 22 June | 12:12

Change your listening habits. Listen to no songs longer than three minutes fifteen seconds. Or say, only listen to Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Megadeth, and Motörhead.

Or say, I won't go to any classes for a week.

Or get into self-cutting or nailbiting or something harmful, say, glue-sniffing, and put it in the contract so you can sue your prof.

posted by Hugh Janus 22 June | 12:16

Limit your time on the internet to half what it currently is for the week.

This seems as though it would very much mirror the exact sort of behavior contract a parent and child might have.

posted by dersins 22 June | 12:21

dersins' got a good one.

posted by ethylene 22 June | 12:29

Stop using so many vowels in your life.

posted by stynxno 22 June | 12:38

If you take dersins's idea, you must cut down on your NON-Meta time -- otherwise, you'd be unfairly depriving us of your presence.

Whatever it is, it seems like it should be some little thing that you do almost half-consciously -- like saying a certain phrase. Are there figures of speech that you use over and over as shortcuts to more verbose ways of saying things? Do you fidget with things or doodle while you're on the phone?

posted by treepour 22 June | 12:40

yr lf? Would Y then count as a vowel? r lf?

posted by occhiblu 22 June | 12:40

treepour, you know, I would love to stop saying "like" so much... and "all." I seem to have dropped the word "said" from my vocabulary in seventh grade and never picked it back up, and it's getting to the point where I'm just too old to be all, "So she's all X, and I'm like, Y!"

But I'm not sure I can actually catch myself doing it often enough to make the change stick for a week.

Internet limiting is good (I've actually been trying to do that on my own lately, anyway). Cutting back sugar is good, since I've been thinking I should do that. I love IRFH's suggestions of adding pleasant-making behaviors, but I'm not sure which ones.

Elsa, you reminded me of the time when I decided I was being too snarky about people, and so made myself compliment at least one stranger every day. It was nice to switch into a mindset of trying to figure out what I liked about everyone I passed on the street.

And omie, if I were not already intimidated by this professor, I'd be off with that idea like... something that takes off.

posted by occhiblu 22 June | 12:50

At my high school, everyone dreaded The Smile Project: students were assigned to smile for two weeks solid and then write a report about the experience. Any student caught not smiling would have a point taken off their final grade for each incident.

It was a weird, weird experience. Highly recommended.

posted by eamondaly 22 June | 13:09

The Smile Project

Dude, that's pretty fucked up right there...

posted by dersins 22 June | 13:21

Heh. I've already been told that I laugh and smile *too* much. I refuse to believe those people, but I'm not sure I need to smile more.

I do love smiling at people in cities where it's not the norm, though. Used to freak out Bostonians like you wouldn't believe.

posted by occhiblu 22 June | 13:30

Smiling is great. In the past year or so I have experimented with more smiling, and until I did it I'd have never known what an insanely powerful effect it has. It really changes your outlook and impacts others' behavior in a big way.

But I have no ideas for what to change, occhiblu. If it were me, it would be lateness - I'd work on being punctual. Other thoughts:

-cutting out refined sugars
-adding daily meditation (or prayer)
-getting up earlier and having a regular morning routine
-flossing *every day*
-returning calls promptly

posted by Miko 22 June | 13:44

I do love smiling at people in cities where it's not the norm, though. Used to freak out Bostonians like you wouldn't believe.

Ha. Try Stockholm.

I'd probably try two things, one from IRFH's list and one from Miko's:

- Read a new poem every day
- Get up earlier

posted by tangerine 22 June | 14:21

Wait, you're in Sweden, tangerine? That means you can go see Mando Diao this summer! They're really good, I've been telling everybody ad nauseum, I know. I just don't want another good band to fizzle out due to a lack of fan interest. And I want everuybody to start listening to the good music so people get used to the good and stop listening to the bad music.

posted by Hugh Janus 22 June | 14:32

No, I'm not in Sweden, but I spent a chunk of 2001 there.

I'm in California now: all smiles, all the time.

posted by tangerine 22 June | 14:55

if you do go with dropping "like" and "all" while speaking, make sure to add "dude" to that list, dude.

also, may i suggest returning library books on time? the measuring aspect of it could just be your bank statement.

posted by dno 22 June | 15:00

Heh. I was better this time with my library books -- I at least remembered to renew them online rather than racking up charges until my lazy ass gets them back to the library.

posted by occhiblu 22 June | 15:03

- brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand
- wear your watch on your non-customary wrist
- fart loudly in public places like post offices and the grocery

posted by chewatadistance 22 June | 15:57

WEAR ADULT DIAPERS AND DON'T GO TO THE TOILET FOR A WEEK!

Sorry for shouting, eureka moment.

posted by Hugh Janus 22 June | 15:59

ok, carry on with your beloved killing sprees. They're bad for your health though.

posted by jonmc 22 June | 16:12

KILL! KILL! KILL!!!

posted by occhiblu 22 June | 17:48

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