Story #1

This happened to a friend of mine, “Shelley”. Her parents-in-law had booked a wedding night room at a local hotel for the then beyond-broke Shelley and her new husband, “Bryce”. This being in a rural area, there was only one hotel reasonably close to the small town Shelley and I were from and in which she had her wedding. Let’s call the hotel by the name Shelley and I now use for it… Rancid Place. The best man and his girlfriend, “Pat” and “Pat” (honestly they did have the same name, just not that particular one) also booked themselves a room at the hotel, as had many of the guests. I was maid of honour but fortunately escaped a stay in Rancid Place because my parents still lived in the area and I could just stay with them.

Shelley and Bryce had invited the best man and his girlfriend back to their room for a drink after they got to the hotel. They were sitting and having a drink and chatting when… they saw an earwig crawling across the floor. Bryce killed and disposed of it. A few minutes later… along came another earwig. Again, Bryce killed and disposed of it. Then they saw another. Bryce, ever the gallant bridegroom, killed the third one as well.

Pat and Pat left to go to their room and Shelley and Bryce turned down the bedclothes to discover... that the entire bed was full of earwigs.

The hotel did not have another room for the happy couple. There were no other hotels within easy driving distance, and as I have said Shelley and Bryce were broke. So they spent the night in Pat and Pat’s room playing euchre. And got a full refund in the morning.

Story #2.

This happened to my brother, “Mark” and his wife “Molly”. No, to be precise, this really only happened to my sister-in-law, because my brother Mark was to blame for it. Molly told me this one night when I was talking to her on the phone and she’d had too much to drink. She said, “Let me tell you what happened on our wedding night,” and I thought, “Oh Gaaaawwwd, here we go with far too much information,” but fortunately for me (if unfortunately for Molly) there was nothing X-rated about it.

Mark was supposed to book a hotel room for their wedding night. He had months to do so, but being the easygoing procrastinating sort did not get around to it until the week before the wedding. Finally, with much prodding from Molly, who kept telling him there were 19 dresses going out of the bridal shop where she’d bought her dress for their exact wedding day, he started making calls. And had to make many of them, because every hotel in town was booked solid. Finally he managed to find an empty room.
On their wedding night they arrived in this room. Molly was not impressed. She described it as “sub-Howard Johnson’s, with two thin pillows on the bed”. There were no chocolates or wine or anything of the sort waiting for them. She thought it would be nice to have some champagne, so she called down to the front desk, where the attendant said, “Well, we don’t have anything like that here.”

And then before Molly could even take the receiver away from her ear, in her other ear she heard the unmistakable sounds of… snoring. Because Mark had lain down and gone straight to sleep. He snores at the best of times, Molly says, but when he’s been drinking as he had been at their wedding, he’s much worse.

He was snoring so loudly Molly could not sleep. There was a sort of loveseat in the room, so Molly thought she would sleep on that. But then she was cold. She could not get any of the covers away from Mark, so she covered herself with her wedding dress. She still couldn’t sleep because Mark was sawing wood far too loudly, and so she spent most of the night staring at him and thinking, “Hoo boy, you are SO going to make this up to me.”

Honeymoon gone wrong: Bride's parents offer an all-expenses paid honeymoon for the happy couple, traveling around Italy for two weeks or so. Bride says no and happy couple goes to DISNEY WORLD. For the 15TH+ TIME IN THEIR LIVES.
/me still resists shaking bride violently by shoulders

Damn. I guess I haven't missed anything not being married...

To each their own I guess, youngergirl

Let me tell you a story about Paul and Belinda. Paul and Belinda drove from the Albany, New York, area to Bar Harbor, Maine, then took the ferry boat over to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia where they planned to spend the bulk of their honeymoon.

This was in August, in the misty morning. The seas were rough, especially to land-lubbing Belinda. The air was and damp, but below decks was swelteringly humid. There was no in between. The six hour crossing seemed to take much longer, and by the time they got there, they were both a little green.

They got to Yarmouth and checked into their bed and breakfast. Feeling a little better after a short nap, they went down to the dining room to enjoy dinner together.

They sat down and ordered drinks, then appetizers. Suddenly, Belinda jumped up and ran away without saying a word. Paul had no idea where she ran off to.

The waitress showed up several minutes later to ask Paul if everything was okay, to which he replied, "I honestly don't know."



Several minutes later, Paul went up to their room, without ordering dinner or eating the appetizer, not knowing if his new wife was there, or if she had run off because he had unwittingly done something horribly wrong. And there was Belinda, driving the porcelin bus in their bathroom. The ferry ride affected her more than she knew, and this fact dawned on her VERY suddenly, so she had jumped up and ran to the only bathroom she knew the location of.




Our 23rd anniversary is coming up in August. ;-)

OK I have a few of these.

1. Tara and Johnny get married in DC. Johnny has a lot to drink. Somehow the car that's supposed to take them home (to Baltimore) gets mixed up and doesn't arrive. Tara has not had much to drink, so commandeers a car (in her wedding dress) and drives them home. Johnny passes out in the car on the Baltimore Beltway, just as they get a flat. Tara changes the tire, in her wedding dress, on the side of 695 in Baltimore. Oh yeah.

2. Chris and Jen get married in the Caribbean. They both drink way too much. Jen passes out at 9pm, Chris keeps going till early in the morning, at some stage getting naked in the outdoor hot tub (we are at a resort, and btw, I was already in bed by then). Jen's little cousin (17yo) had gotten away from her (strict) parents and was passed out by the hottub. Chris thinks he's doing the nice thing by carrying her to a hotel room. Naked. He gets detained by hotel security for carrying a young girl into a random room. Has to wake Jen up at 5am to get him released.

And then there was me, who at 6am the morning of my wedding was puking because I was still doing shots at 3am. So much for the beautiful bride. Gah.

My mother's parents were married in rural Nebraska in March of 1908. The day before the wedding, a blizzard covered most of the state in a foot of snow, and it was still snowing the day of the wedding. After the ceremony, they came out of the church, intending to take their horse drawn wagon back through town, and to their new home out on an 80 acre farm my Grandad had bought (honeymoon trips being something of a Grand Extravagance in that day and time for rural folk).

On the way out of town, an automobile passing through on the state highway (which was an incredible event given the rarity of automobiles, the weather, and the condition of roads in that time) spooked their team, and they wound up in a ditch by the side of the road. They spent the majority of the afternoon unhitching the frightened team, calming them, and using the horses and brute strength to pull the wagon out of the ditch, and they were mostly frozen when they got to the farm well after dark, and still had to put up the horses, and feed the stock. They collapsed into bed, thereafter, and both were sick for a week, just barely able to keep the stock fed and watered, much less themselves.

50 years later, at their golden wedding celebration, my mother had the whole tale written up in a poem, and we grandkids recited it for them. I still remember that the horses' names were Dobbin and Jing, and the incredible automobile was an Oldsmobile. Which is a pretty fair amount of detail about a non-fatal vehicular incident to have survived for nearly 100 years. Such is the power of wedding day stories.

Good thing they don't make Oldsmobiles anymore!

Honeymoon gone wrong: Friends of mine were supposed to spend their 2nd married night at the Empress before venturing down the West Coast to a B&B in Oregon. Said trip to be made in one parent's maxi conversion van.

They arrive at the Tsawwassen ferry terminal around 1pm just in time to miss the last ferry before a wildcat strike shuts the system down. After spending 5 hours waiting to get across they manage to get CP hotels to transfer their registration to a Vancouver property.

Great the worst must be behind them, they have what I can only assume is a wonderful time in Vancouver even though it wasn't the first choice. They get across the boarder OK (driving instead of taking the Seattle ferry as planned) but somewhere around 100 miles from the B&B the transmission blows on their van. AAA comes to the rescue and they take a bus to the B&B hoping to rent a car the next day. The owner's son has a car he isn't using which is offered to the stressed out couple, Yay! no rental fees. This is fine for two days until they manage to take out the transmission in the car (a /6 Dodge Dart, how the heck does that happen?) leaving them stranded 50 miles from the B&B.

FFWD a week their van is fixed and it's time to head home. The make it to the border and are held up for 6+ hours while the groom (a US Citizen and Canadian Landed immigrant) has his papers and marriage to the bride (a Canadian) verified.