MetaChat - Jean Claude Van Damme

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22 December 2006

Jean Claude Van Damme tries to cover up his horrible ~~boner~~ acid-wash Dad jeans. youtube

post by: iconomy at: 23:46 | 17 comments

I'm so glad I'm not a guy. I'd hate to have to worry about sporting wood in embarassing situations.

posted by jrossi4r 23 December | 00:00

I could have gone my whole life without seeing that, but I was stupid enough to click the link. Anyone got any memory soap?

posted by King of Prontopia 23 December | 00:47

oh man, i've been lucky not to have any super embarrassing boner stories but...having them is embarrassment enough to be honest. Poor guy, nothing you can do!

posted by freudianslipper 23 December | 00:49

Haven't looked at the link but I can't believe it could be more embarrassing than his movies.

posted by arse_hat 23 December | 00:51

But the jeans! Are they not hilarious?

posted by iconomy 23 December | 00:52

But the jeans! Are they not hilarious?

That would be one way to describe them. Pathetic would be another. That was never, NEVER a good look, and being Belgian is no excuse either!

posted by King of Prontopia 23 December | 01:12

Acid-washed jeans are the one fashion mistake I completely avoided in the 80s. Good thing, too, as they appear to cause spontaneous public boners.

posted by BoringPostcards 23 December | 01:35

Okay, and I agree - but if any one of you wears or has ever worn those atrocious "faded and dirty in the ass and thighs" horrors, YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO SPEAK. Plus, I will personally come to your house and kill you.

posted by taz 23 December | 01:43

That should have been "fake faded and dirty in the ass and thighs"; if you wear jeans that are authentically dirty and faded in the ass and thighs, I will only dismember you.

posted by taz 23 December | 01:46

haha, I had one pair of acid-wash jeans. I wore them with a green and black horizontal striped shirt (oh and sometimes my gecko shirt). But...I hated it and stuff...

My only excuse is that I was 12 or something.

posted by freudianslipper 23 December | 01:53

That's really precious. I've always like Van Damme because I heard he was once asked:

"How do you feel about the fact that gay men everywhere are crazy for you?"

by saying:

"I'm well aware that I have a lot of gay fans, and I love them."

This might have been bullshit hearsay, but I believe it until someone says otherwise.

posted by scarabic 23 December | 01:57

I agree about those jeans, taz... I think they're even worse than the acid-washed jeans of yore. Just GROSS. Especially the ones with the very sharply defined, painted-on "dirty" areas.

Poor hygeine = ugh
Artificial poor hygeine = WTF
Badly-stylized artificial poor hygiene = I have lived too long, please shoot me now

posted by BoringPostcards 23 December | 02:50

This might have been bullshit hearsay,

I personally saw that on Italian TV, and he said something like "My gay fans? They have good taste", and winked. I like him too. I still think Steven Seagal has an edge on him, but early Van Damme movies still kick a lot of ass.

(coming soon: a post on my massive case of Steven Seagal fandom)

posted by matteo 23 December | 18:34

Seagal movies are usually terrible but still fun to watch. A few of his early ones were genuinely good action movies, if a bit weak on plot. The memory-loss one and the one with the twin drug lords were both pretty decent.

That said, he is one of the biggest assholes on the planet.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 23 December | 18:57

That was never, NEVER a good look, and being Belgian is no excuse either!

That's the second time in a month I've heard people on the Metas goofing on Belgians' lack of fashion sense. First, there was MeatBomb's post about Zardoz and now this.

Is this some sort of weird European in-joke? All I associate with Belgium is chocolate and beer. I have no idea how they dress.

posted by jason's_planet 23 December | 23:18

I've been to Belgium. Their fashion sense is no worse than the average American's.

It is a rather dull country, though.

posted by cmonkey 23 December | 23:42

Chocolate, beer, and really delicious French fries.

posted by box 23 December | 23:43

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