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02 November 2006
Letters to TPS Write me a letter in thread, and I will write you back! KTHNXBYE!
How are you today? I am tolerably well; the weather continues fine and we have planned a gathering with the Fossingtons this afternoon in the orchard. Do let us know when you are planning to arrive tomorrow - we will send our man Harris to the station with the carriage.
Dear occhiblu,
That is awful! I love breafast foods so much, sometimes I think I'm going to quit eating all other foods. Lately I've been having english muffins with creamed honey, but I switch up breakfast foods all the time (always drink OJ, though; and take my womens vitamin). I hope you manage to get yourself something yummy to eat!
Dear Miss Pode,
Oh, you are utterly too-too! I do adore your orchard; I've attempted to have my servants replicate it on our estate, but you know how hard it is to find good help. Speaking of, I be delayed in arriving tomorrow; I have sustained a tear in my silk gown, and will need to have it mended before I visit. I shan't be later than 2 o'clock; do have dinner without me.
Halloween is over, but I think you would have made a fantastic Edie Sedgewick--sleeveless minidress, fishnets, long dangly earrings and hair sprayed silver.
Dear brujita,
Why thank you! Perhaps I will be her next year. This year I was a regular person in a devil wig. What did you dress up as? And did you get lots of candy? I didn't get any. Perhaps I will buy some of the sale candy today.
Dear mischief,
It was lovely to meet you, too! Thanks so much for offering us your place, even we ended up staying at the MGM for the extra night. Your Vegas expertise was very helpful. I cannot WAIT to come back to Vegas- with more money for Blackjack and more room in my tummy for buffets. Viva Las Vegas!
I'm pretty good. I'm working at home, watching the dog stretched out on the couch. Sometimes, I wish I was a dog.
I think you should have Chinese for lunch. I, too, have options- half a meatball sub leftover from yesterday's lunch, or some grilled chicken leftover from yesterday's dinner. Maybe I'll eat it all.
As for winter hats, I think you should buy a little kid hat- one with lots of points and tassels that will make you look like an elf. Pink, of course, is the optimal color.
Please accept this letter as formal notification that I am leaving my position with The Company on November 2nd.
Thank you for the opportunities you have provided me during my time with The Company.
If I can be of any assistance during this transition, please let me know.
PS: Please be advised that I have made arrangements to have copies of invoices for all past transactions stored on a safe boat adrift in International waters, along with instructions to provide said documentation to the proper authorities in the event that I fail to check in with the code word every ten days.
PPS: Please be further advised that any attempt to offer me the "early retirement" plan despite the precautions outlined in the above PS will be considered "actionable," up to and including "termination" of the entire Board of Directors, their Heirs and Assigns, and all of their favorite bands.
I am the son of a Nigerian prince, and a fortune awaits me, but I need an account number to transfer my money to. I will offer a handsome reward and hope you can be of service
I remembered that I had rice and cream and sugar! Which meant I could make some basic form of rice pudding for breakfast! And then, while I was making it, I remembered I had candied ginger in the pantry, so now I have ginger creamy rice for breakfast. Which sounds awful, but is actually quite nice!
I appreciate how sympathetic and helpful you have been during this time of trouble, so I wanted to make sure you knew the resolution. Say hi to your dog for me.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
Dear occhiblu,
Oh, I am so glad! I would tell the dog, but she's asleep, and if I woke her up to tell her you say hi, she'd want to know what you're doing, and then I'd say you're eating, and then she'd be mad that you're not sharing with her. This is why it's always good to let sleeping dogs lie. I'll let her know later; the last thing you want is a chihuahua in a sombrero holding you hostage.
I'm going to call you Teeps from now on, because I think it's adorable, and so are you. I got the idea from N@.
So anyway, I think I might have the wee beginnings of a teeny crush on somebody. I don't know him very well, so we'll see what happens, but it's really nice just to be a little interested in someone. I'm piqued, and it's nice. It's been a long while for me, and man, it's about time for me to get over that last guy...
So wish me luck! Or something!
Love,
Speck
P.S. Can I come over sometime and pet your dog? I luff her.
I'm writing in regards to ThePinkSuperhero. While I enjoy her wit and extensive knowledge of celebrity gossip, pink simply does not go with my decor. Do you perchance offer models in other hues? I'd be particularly interested in TheTaupeSuperhero, if available.
Dear Speck,
Crushy crushy crush crush! WOO WOO WOO! You go girl. You work it. You shake it up down and all around. You work that magic. You get over that last guy. You roll. You bounce. You CRUSH.
And I've checked with Twinkie's office, and she's all booked up for the rest of the year, but she might have an opening around June 2007. Check back then.
Dear Miss J. Rossi,
Thank you for your letter. We love hearing suggestions on how to improve TheSuperhero brand. At the moment, we are working on an extension of our bright color palette; expect to see ThePurpleSuperhero, TheGreenSuperhero, and TheBlueSuperhero debut around the 2007 holiday season. We have no plans for a TheTaupeSuperhero at this time; but will run it by our design department. Thanks!
Dear N@,
After consulting with The Ghost of Ken Lay, I can advise that it doesn't matter what you go into, as long as you're the boss. And you have your own office. Have those two things, and you are well on your way to be coming a champion embezzler.
I think I'm in love with my 65 year-old friend's neighbour's aunt. The other day I caught my friend's neighbour's aunt wih my best friend's dog. What should I do?
November is a weird month. As the weather turns and I find myself overly busy on
the weekends and during the weeknights I often wonder if I will ever see
people who cheer me up with their wit and roguish charm. Perhaps it is in
the harvest season that we think of tending to our social gardens, to find,
as the leaves fall to the sidewalk the limbs resemble bare bones more than
anything else, that if not watered and sunned appropriately only the
hardiest of plants survive. It's a time of melancholy and mourning, perhaps.
It is certainly one that often reminds us of the richness of solitude. And
yet, we who are about to die (morituri), wish to not dwell in those depths forever.
Perhaps, there can be a light at the end of this long journey? Perhaps there
can be some incandescent meetup established not too far off, not so far we
cannot see it beyond the horizon, but somewheres before we enter another
year and custom dictates that I pen another soliloquy for the bonds of pixelated personalities presented in person -- perhaps there, in that off-screen glow, we can all bask.
Dear anon83,
Your being in love with your friend's neighbour's aunt does not mean she has any obligation to be in love with you. She is allowed to do whatever she wants. I say, call her up and ask her out to dinner. If she is already in a relationship, that will be that. If not, at least you know she's a freak-a-leek.
I thought you'd appreciate an update: I took your suggestion to have Chinese for lunch, and it worked out wonderfully. The Chinese place recently added Korean dishes, and I gather that they haven't really caught on yet, and so I got a tiny free sample of bibimbap.
And here's a little bit of gossip from the world of politics: here in Little Rock, there will almost certainly be a mayoral runoff election. And you didn't hear it from me, but at least twocandidates, or people who would appear to be working on their behalf, have violated election law by posting campaign materials too close to a polling place.
And word on the street is that, years ago, another one of the candidates was thrown out of the downtown public library after engaging in an, ah, public display of affection. He's not polling very well, though.
Thank you for your caring words. I have not yet gotten it looked at or made an appointment. I am very lazy about all things medical; it is one of my fatal flaws. I promise I will make an appointment next week. Thanks for your concern.
How are you? I am fine. I wanted to thank you for your kind words the other day. Such a fine outstanding person such as yourself deserves notice. Therefore, I am nominating you for Bunnie of the Year, 2006. I hope you don't mind, but I ordered a tiara, robe, and sceptor a head of time.
To avoid dire consequences to chihuahuas in sombreros, you must copy and send this letter to no fewer than 25 people, RL or Pixel. You have been warned.
*************FREE SODA WITH ANY LARGE OKRA*************
Dear Redvixen,
Thank you, thank you! This honor... is about more than just me. It's for all the little girls who grow up, dreaming to be Bunnie of the Year. I share this award with all of them! But, uh, the tiara is MINE and nobody elses!!!
Dear Protector-in-priori-stasus ,
At the moment, I have no chihuahuas in sombreros; only one curled up safe and warm in her dog bed at home, sleeping (or partying, but I'm guessing sleeping). Based on that fact, I will disregard your letter. Thanks for writing.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
