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23 October 2006
Things you like about people.→[More:] (Because that idiotic AskMe "Why we hate women thread" depressed me.)
Smile.
Give me a hug.
Ask me how I'm doing.
Make a funny joke that doesn't involve being bitter or making fun of somebody else.
Do a funny dance.
Help me in an efficient, friendly manner when I come to your business for help.
The stories they have to tell.
The ability they have to lift them out of your own head.
They look interesting generally.
and when all is said and done, cats are less fun to drink with and they rarely buy a round.
Babies bring out the best in people. If people are nice people, they wave back and coochie-coochie coo and smile and randomly give away little plastic snowsleighs because "The season is coming [pointing at baby] and you know they'll want one" (this happened to me in the rainy dreary morning today). So before, I didn't like people much, now I see that there are a lot of people out there, from little old ladies to eldery gentlemen with hats to young lads to little girls who are just plain sweet. And I like that, that people are sweet and nice. Before, I would never have known that there were so many that actually are.
I love watching all the people on my block leaving their houses in the morning, dressed up for work, armed with iPods and courier bags, looking like they're ready to take on the day.
Men shaving. I mean the actual process. It seems so earnest and serious and grown-up.
OH, babies, I forgot about babies! I love a cute smiley baby or child. I was at IKEA on Saturday, and there was a kid in a cart singing and smiling to himself, and when I looked at him he would cover his face with hands and then open and close them to peek at me. So precious.
It's great when someone remembers something insignificant that I once said or did, and they bring it up when talking to me, years later. Listening and paying attention are great. It makes people feel great. Feeling great is great.
Men shaving. I mean the actual process. It seems so earnest and serious and grown-up.
You have no idea.
I know women shave too, but if you fuck it up it's easy to hide. We can't cover our shaving mistakes with stockings unless we want to be mistaken for bank robbers.
I was walking through the park last weekend and I saw a bunch of holes in the grass, and then a little pink nose sticking up through one of the holes, followed by fuzzy chubby whiskered cheeks. I stopped to watch, and a guy came up to me and asked what I was looking at, and I pointed and said, "There's a gopher there." And he stopped and we watched the gopher poke its head in and out of its gopher-hole and wiggle its nose around for a while.
I like smart, not in that wiseass knows everything about nothing way, but the type of person that when you watch them closely through their actions, whether a minute or day, exhibits clear and cohesive thought.
Yeah, interaction with babies is great. There's often babies on the Docklands Railway, and if I catch one looking at me, I'll always wave, smile, wink, and I love the way they react, and the total unselfconsciousness of the spontaneous laughter.
Random acts of kindness are wonderful too. One person doing something for another, just because. No reward expected.
And I am always amazed when someone remembers my name. Or invites me somewhere.
I guess I should add that means something so simple as taking time out to smell a strange flower one moment or spending a couple of years figuring out which is the right house to buy.
Men shaving. I mean the actual process. It seems so earnest and serious and grown-up.
I have rarely been more pleasantly entertained than I was recently when listening to three bearded men (my boyfriend and two of his relatives) having an earnest discussion over a glass of wine of their respective shaving and beard-trimming techniques. It was very illuminating and a lot of fun for me :-)
I like when people drop their guard enough to make eye contact with me in a public situation and acknowledge that some other person we have both seen acting like a nut or a jerk is in fact just that nutty or jerky. Makes me happy for hours.
I like it when people bust out a very surprising talent that may have been previously unknown - juggling, knot tying, pen-spinning, whatever.
When people walking down the street do something funny, like drop and bobble something or trip over their own feet, and then laugh out loud at themselves, acknowledging the goofiness of the moment.
When there's some sort of emergency and someone steps up with assurance. For instance, when an elderly person collapses on the street and someone is right there helping, or when something catches fire, and someone just competently acts quickly without losing his or her head.
When you're out having a bite to eat or some pints, and you end up finding that the strangers nearby you are friendly people who are ready to connect, and spend an hour or so of your life having a fun, meaningful conversation with them -- a real though glancing human interaction.
I like little moments of connection with strangers, like that look the woman in the library gave me when she realized that we had both heard the old man fart. We didn't laugh, didn't make a big deal over it, just looked at each other with raised eyebrows and moved along. I like holding doors for old ladies (and men), and helping people on the street who are looking at maps--the little look of gratitude just totally makes my day. I liked it when I was talking to my neighbor about my up-coming trip out of town, and she made sure to get my cell phone number, you know, just in case.
I like meeting online folks IRL, being reminded that all these usernames and profiles and such go with real people. I liked the look on Miko's face when she had her first taste of sweet-corn tamale. I liked that 20 or so people I'd never met nor spoken to showed up at a bar in NYC last weekend. I liked giving a tour of the world's largest library to everyone's favorite librarian. I like it when people from out of town, or from Denmark or South Africa, meet me for dinner. It all makes me feel like I have friends all over the world, and I like that, very much.
When I'm eating or drinking something in a public place, and a stranger asks me about my food/beverage, and I say, "Here, try a taste!" and they do so without freaking out about exchanging germs with a stranger. The sharing of foods, it makes me happy.
When some poor schmuck is sitting at a bar, nursing a drink, head down, looking like he's lost his last friend, and a Good Samaritan comes along, and without a word, gives the poor schmuck a squeeze on the shoulder, and wordlessly makes that finger-pointing-at-the-nearly-empty-glass gesture that is the universal "I'll buy him another." signal to the bartender, and the bartender comes over and wordlessly pours another, and the schmuck wordlessly raises his glass, and silently toasts his benefactor, the bartender, and the cruel fates that have brought him low.
'Cause we've all been the schmuck, the Samaritan, or the bartender, and nobody needs to say a thing to know who's feeling what, or what to do in that little tableau.
What's even better is that my desk is in the front window, but I tend to be slouched down behind my monitor, so many people walk by, see the cat in the window and start with the smooshy-facing, and only *then* notice that I'm also sitting here looking at them. So then I get one of those secret "I was just being a goof, and there were witnesses" good-natured self-deprecating smiles that Divine_Wino and Miko mentioned. Wins all round!
I like old people who look happy and old couples who are clearly still in love, wandering along, holding hands. It gives me hope for the whole world somehow. And I like kids; I like the way they get wildly enthusiastic about the smallest, weirdest things and how they become very serious about helping other people.
Once when I was driving down this one-way street that had speed bumps to slow the cars, I saw this kid, aged about 17, who was looking to cross the road. He was talking to someone I couldn't see, with his finger raised as if giving instruction. As I drove past, I saw that it was a cat, his cat I think, because as I watched in the rear view mirrow after I drove past, he walked across the road, this little black and white cat, probably a year old or so, trotting after him with its tail in the air.
I really, really liked that. He was sensible, he didn't take the cat across the road before I reached where he was, even though he'd have had time. He was teaching the cat, let the car pass first before you cross the road.
I drive down that road perhaps two or three times a month, and think of that kid every time. He'll be a good man, I think.
In my work (I work at a small classifieds paper), I have to talk to dozens (some days it's just a dozen, on Fridays, it's several dozens) of people on the phone every day. Some of them can be pretty rude. Some of the regular callers (they call us once a week to renew their ad) are very nice, though. There's this real estate agent, for instance, who always wishes me a good weekend, tells me to have fun etc. I like people like him -- people who treat you, the person behind the desk or on the other end of the line, as a human.
I also like the old people who come and tell me about their lives. It's really amazing how interesting the lives of ordinary people can be.
I like it when little kids talk loudly to themselves (or maybe their parents) in public places like buses and trains and banks and supermarkets. They're yet to learn that you have to be quiet in these places because being there is serious business.
I like everything about people. Even the fact that some of them are so messed up that they actually do bad stuff, like rob and kill people, or order others to do worse. I don't like robbers and killers, or dictators (or the current President of the United States), but I appreciate that there's such a variety of experience that some can be led to that, and some to this other stuff over here, and some can be doing stuff that's a lot like what I do, but not exactly the same, because nobody has the same combination of tics, quirks, experiences, and judgments that I have. That's pretty great. Up with people!
As usual, I fall victim to my habit of gruesome overstatement. Oy va voy!
I just like people in general. I like to strike up conversations everywhere I go, so it makes me happy when strangers are of the same ilk. I love babies and little kids, and kind hearted elderly. Also, I love the fact of human nature where the goodness comes to the fore in times of tragedy or emergency.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
