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25 July 2006

This thread is Divine Wino's Wedding Reception. So do what you do.
post by: Miko at: 15:53 | 36 comments
*Dances with more enthusiasm than skill*

*Plays the spoons*
posted by jrossi4r 25 July | 15:56
*makes a drunken toast, incorporating an off-color joke about a camel; kisses mother-in-law inappropriately*
posted by mudpuppie 25 July | 15:57
*bonks a bridesmaid*
posted by mike9322 25 July | 16:00
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by shane 25 July | 16:01
Hope my parents don't fuck the whole thing up for me, smile like a moron, drink a million beers, stay up very late, sweat through my summer suit because I refuse to take it off because I'm forfuckingchristsake married godddamit, mop off flopsweat with a linen hanky like Al Green's albino brother.
posted by Divine_Wino 25 July | 16:01
*throws confetti made from recycled paper*
posted by shane 25 July | 16:04
*cruises for unclaimed favors*

*eats Jordan almonds*

*looks for partner who can swing dance*

*get everyone to pose for ridiculous staged photos with snapshot cameras*
posted by Miko 25 July | 16:04
Do people actually have sex after weddings or are they just too damn exhausted?
posted by shane 25 July | 16:04
*throws confetti, disco dances with the coolest old geezer I can find*
posted by lonefrontranger 25 July | 16:04
*raids bar*

*smiles like a moron, drinks a million beers*
posted by shane 25 July | 16:05
*bonks another bridesmaid*
posted by mike9322 25 July | 16:07
Gets really drunk, tries to disrobe, gets caught, settles down, goes outside for some air, realizes there's no one to stop him now, disrobes and starts streaking the reception with a bottle of tequila in one hand, slows down and tries to have a conversation with Divine_Wino's new mother in law, fails miserably, offers her a shot and then asks if she'd like to "go upstairs", gets rejected, gets dejected, pounds remainder of tequila and shouts "Ya'll can suck my balls!" until escorted from the premises.

Wow, I don't even feel hungover!
posted by fenriq 25 July | 16:14
*plays grabass with, oh, everyone*
posted by Hugh Janus 25 July | 16:16
My last toast of three ended with (no joke) "now all you fuckers get out of my house, dammit." Nobody listened thank god.
posted by Divine_Wino 25 July | 16:19
*swing dances with Miko*

*looks around for salsa/cha cha partners*
posted by occhiblu 25 July | 16:21
*eats too much. sings. dances to 70s disco hits. has a little cry, quietly in the ladies loo*
posted by essexjan 25 July | 16:23
*frolics in champaigne fountain*

*sings slurry off-key duet of Prine's In Spite of Ourselves with jon in couple's honor*

*starts a cake fight*
posted by Pips 25 July | 16:24
*dances with wolves*
posted by eekacat 25 July | 16:46
*toasts the newlyweds!*
*repeatedly sticks finger in choclate fountain*
*does not chicken dance*
posted by krix 25 July | 16:52
*scrapes frosting off cake*
*sneaks out to get some real beer*
*dances slow dances (only)*
posted by tommasz 25 July | 17:06
*finishes duet, downs a few more drinks and begins toasting the Wino's humble origins, vomits, passes out in cake*
posted by jonmc 25 July | 17:07
*searches for make-out parners and dark corners*
posted by Specklet 25 July | 17:14
*happens to be sitting in a dark corner*
posted by mudpuppie 25 July | 17:19
*picks jonmc up out of cake*
posted by safetyfork 25 July | 17:23
*and toasts with jams*
posted by safetyfork 25 July | 17:24
*takes picture of dark corner action, sells to tabloids, only gets $5 and cab fare*
posted by jonmc 25 July | 17:29
*trips over pup in the dark, doesn't bother getting back up again*
posted by Specklet 25 July | 17:35
*Gets wasted, forces elderly relatives to drink tequila shooters, makes out with random wedding guest*
posted by SassHat 25 July | 17:57
*happens to be feeling pretty random right now, after the open bar and all*
posted by danf 25 July | 18:03
*shows up, late to the party as usual, does several shots of JD to catch up*
posted by gaspode 25 July | 18:07
makes out with random wedding guest

Uncle Olaf from the old country is eternally grateful.
posted by jonmc 25 July | 18:27
*grabs occhiblu for a cha-cha while stepping carefully over Specklet*
*drinks amaretto/orange juice and giggles loudly*
*takes hundreds of pictures to make in to an album for the happy couple*
*starts feeling romantic*
posted by redvixen 25 July | 19:14
*grabs bottle of wine while bartender's back is turned*
*dances three honeymoon dances because she forgot about the first two*
*drunkenly calls for "Freebird!"*
posted by muddgirl 25 July | 19:39
*lures mike9322 toward a certain tollbooth.
*takes Fredo fishing
*Comes back to reception and toasts the bride and groom!
posted by richat 25 July | 21:30
*takes off shoes, dances weirdly*
*drinks too much*
*says something embarrassing to the wrong person*
*realizes it was no big deal, drinks more*
*succeeds in stopping catering staff from absconding with extra booze*
*arranges beerrun*
*loses track of children*
*has a good time*

CONGRATULATIONS TO MR. & MRS. WINO!! LONG MAY THEY REIGN!!!!!
posted by mygothlaundry 25 July | 21:38
I read that as bee run, and wondered why bees were to be required.
posted by occhiblu 25 July | 22:18
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