MetaChat - There hasn't been a good workplace shooting in a while, has there?

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

09 June 2006

There hasn't been a good workplace shooting in a while, has there? →[More:] We had another meeting today. The disarming-uncertainty urinal talker put in an appearance and told us that instead of being laid off in 2 to 4 weeks, we were looking at 45 days of office purgatory to go if we want our severance and to qualify for unemployment. He said this angrily, as if having to address the concerns of 18 low-paid people he was putting on the streets was a big inconvenience for him. He also bitched at length about how the development of the software tools that will 'replace'* us was harming him and his company. Like 18 layoffees could muster the energy to give a fuck. Besides, if the company goes under he just buys himself another gold-plated yacht (yes, he's really that rich. And still nothing in writing. And veiled insinuations that the delays could be even longer. I wore this shirt specially chosen for the meeting.

*things like the Signe Anderson and Fania stuff have convinced me that this bunch have their heads up their pampered asses anyways. Good luck with that.

post by: jonmc at: 10:50 | 28 comments

God, Jon, how sick to have to lurch through this slack-jawed drooling madness every day.

What else is out there for you, where you at with what's coming up next?

(although I love my Daily Dumbco Report).

posted by Lipstick Thespian 09 June | 10:59

I was hoping for a summer off with pips, with time to travel and actually think about my next move rather than just jump to the next rock. But I'll have to settle for August it looks like, since that's the severance date their giving us now. But that's not carved in stone, more like written in the sand in pee. as the tide comes in.

posted by jonmc 09 June | 11:03

He also bitched at length about how the development of the software tools that will 'replace'* us was harming him and his company.

What? Explain this part, please?

posted by TrishaLynn 09 June | 11:04

He used a lot of corporate and techie speak that flew over most people's heads, but the general gist was how irritated he was that the software wasn't up to snuff yet. If was looking for a room full of people to care, he picked the wrong fucking audience, since the stony faced frowns that filled the room betrayed no sympathy.

posted by jonmc 09 June | 11:07

Rat 'em out to the SEC. You've got time in purgatory to pump the surviving staff for the dirt on smoke breaks. Consider this a transition to your new career as a detective.

posted by warbaby 09 June | 11:08

I love that shirt.

posted by JanetLand 09 June | 11:47

You work for a gang of shitheels, jonny. If anyone needs a face caved in....

posted by Hugh Janus 09 June | 11:48

Me too. Fred Sanford is the great unheralded philosopher of our time.

(Also, all this crap would be easier to stomach if we were curing cancer, fighting crime, or creating art or something. We're just helping some rich people get richer, mainly by providing muddled half-assed data.)

(Hugh, I'm havin' some pops with da Pipsta at the usual location before going off for dumplings and the meetup. feel free to join us.)

(Also, Ray Barretto fucking rules.)

posted by jonmc 09 June | 11:51

*slowly and lovingly eats BLT in sympathy for jonmc*

posted by rainbaby 09 June | 12:03

Jon, if you and Pips find yourself a'wandering on the west coast then I must request a meetup (preferably south bay as I'm south, south, south bay). I owe you several beers for all of the entertainment you've provided over the years.

But I thoroughly hate it when an asshole who isn't losing his job makes it seem like its a burden to lay other people off. Hey, dude, if its that bad then fall on a sword for the cause. Jeez.

Sounds like he could use a few brine shrimp dropped into his chair seat tube as you leave, a few weeks later the smell will become UNBEARABLE! Let me know if you need details.

posted by fenriq 09 June | 12:05

Yeah, dude needs to take a class in people management, or something. At the least he needs to use his empathy-filter before he speaks. Tell him I said he's a neckfucker.

You should get a temporary tattoo of the company logo on your ass and the next time this stuff comes up, you should go "so, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?!"

posted by Hellbient 09 June | 12:25

Sorry jonmc (& Pips), it's my bud's birthday and he's throwing a pique-nique on his roof for a few folks, so I'll unfortunately be unable to hang tonight. But this weekend... we got a show, what is it, Sunday?

posted by Hugh Janus 09 June | 12:39

Yep. Give us a call tommorow so we can make arrangements.

posted by jonmc 09 June | 12:41

You should get a temporary tattoo of the company logo on your ass and the next time this stuff comes up, you should go "so, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?!"

Man, if I were around to do it, I'd totally be willing to draw that.

posted by interrobang 09 June | 13:03

Well, my ass is a beautiful canvas, I realize...

posted by jonmc 09 June | 13:06

This totally sucks, hon (the wireless in my classroom's finally workin', so I can read this). And talk about your chutzpah, to expect y'all to sympathize with them... DumbCo., indeed.

Well, hopefully we'll still have August. I'm dyin' to fly off somewheres fun with ya...

*buys finger paints for beautiful canvas later* : )

posted by Pips 09 June | 13:27

Sounds like he could use a few brine shrimp dropped into his chair seat tube as you leave, a few weeks later the smell will become UNBEARABLE! Let me know if you need details.

A little limberger on the back of the A/C vents is quite effective as well.

posted by Mitheral 09 June | 13:33

Jonmc, I have worked for really really rich people before. They are a breed apart, and most of them are weird as heck. (I can think of only one exception, and he made his money the oldfashioned way, by working his tail off for it.)

If I lived closer I'd volunteer to do a drive-by educational session with that guy in front of the rest of you. It would be my pleasure. Who ever said being bipolar never came in handy once in awhile?

Meanwhile, you or Pips, hoist a diet Coke with a lemon in it in my honor, willya? If you put anything else in it just don't tell me. ;-)

posted by bunnyfire 09 June | 14:06

You know how to use the Wino Signal right? I'll be in his office in five minutes all charged up on Colt .45 Pimms Cups and reeking of urinal pucks, I have a 14 hour forced lecture/jazzercise class based around the life of Frank Perdue that I'm dying to deliver to a bisexual swinger crazyglued to a desk. All I need is a key to the office, I can supply my own flare guns.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 June | 14:15

I've got the glue, DW.

To the Winomobile...

#&BAM!!!^$@POW!!!$@#WHAM!!!&%#

posted by Pips 09 June | 14:34

The Winomobile is an El Camino with a family of racoons living in the air intake and hood stencil of the Virgin Mary shooting the lyrics to Smoke on the Water out of her fingertips at the devil. We're gonna need a push start, a jump and a case of Natty Boh, hold tight! It does shoot flame like the batmobile, but it's more the get pulled over kind of flame than the go fast kind. Uhh, do you got a five for gas?

posted by Divine_Wino 09 June | 14:48

Mentioning Natty Boh in a thread is like projecting the bat-signal on a cloud...

Here I am!

posted by Hugh Janus 09 June | 14:51

What would a superhero supergroup composed of Jonmc, Pips, myself and Hugh be called?

Superfuckers? No Pants League of America?

The Booze Brothers and Lady Dimples?

posted by Divine_Wino 09 June | 14:55

D_W, you're damned funny generally, but man, today you are on!

posted by elizard 09 June | 15:01

the Fuck-This League of America

posted by Hugh Janus 09 June | 15:10

Thank you elizard, I suspect the heat has finally gotten to me.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 June | 15:38

*sighs* May I please remind people who may or may not still be reading this thread that though Joe Famous and jonmc won't have to deal with any of the fallout after they leave, I do?

Maybe I should just stop reading these threads so there's even the remotest chance of me having some plausible deniability......

posted by TrishaLynn 09 June | 19:11

You could always quit if that was too much of a trial.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 June | 20:30

← Suggestions from my Fellow Mecha DJ's and other Muzeek Lubbers? || Football! →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN