MetaChat - "METATTRACTIONS"

Well, there was that time me and Hugh Janus went fishing of the West Side docks, but sadly we didn't catch anything, no.

posted by jonmc 25 May | 12:23

Joe, read this thread - soooo juicy.

posted by iconomy 25 May | 12:26

*grins over in the direction of the West Coast, specifically Seattle*

posted by TrishaLynn 25 May | 12:26

Ah. Mariners Fan.

posted by jonmc 25 May | 12:28

Speak for yourself, jonmc. I caught a pretty juicy dose of the clap and a bullet in the thigh; those docks are rough, man.

posted by Hugh Janus 25 May | 12:29

You just duck too slow. or too fast.

posted by jonmc 25 May | 12:30

I would like to take the opportunity to also mention that while I am indeed the buxom, hard-wordy woman that Specklet so rightfully acknowledged me for O so long ago (or yesterday), I am also a soft gooey kernel of mush and love, capable of wuffles on command. I can cook dinner for two quite well and I only snore just a little bit in bed.

Operators are standing by!

posted by TrishaLynn 25 May | 12:32

[blind item retracted by request of the original commenter]

posted by matildaben 25 May | 12:37

There was that one time I kept that A-Lister in a pit in my basement, but I wouldn't really call it a hook-up. It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again...

posted by keswick 25 May | 12:37

I imagine all the ones that want to be public already are, and all the ones that wish to remain private will continue to do so.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 May | 12:37

Metachat helped me get in touch with myself, does that count?

posted by Capn 25 May | 12:40

There was that time with me and dios in the back of a volkswagen...

posted by knave 25 May | 12:41

Lovin that thread, Iconomy!!!

hahahaha....

Ahhhh...love

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 12:42

Hey, Trish..

WESSSSSSSSYYYYYYYDE!

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 12:44

While I probably will never actually hook up with a metachatter, it must be said that the women I've met here have nearly spoiled me for any other chicas in Real Life.

You all have to know that you are the standard I hold for any prospects. If'n they can't make me laugh, think, be stupid and/or foolish like you ladies can, I'd just as soon stay home.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 25 May | 12:49

I've assumed that most people know that ikkyu2 and I are together, but if not... ikkyu2 and I are together.

That's actually what brought me to MeCha (we met through MeFi), so I don't consider us a MeCha hook-up, though.

And we keep the juicy bits to ourselves, thank you very much.

posted by occhiblu 25 May | 12:52

I have not met anyone from Mecha or Metafilter. The fact is, you do not know that I am who I say I am. And you never will.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 25 May | 13:04

Yeah, yeah, that's what you say. But how do you know you're not me, hmmmmmm?

posted by Hugh Janus 25 May | 13:10

Well, me and pips were together long before MeCha or even Mefi, but the MeChazens played a part in reuniting us.

posted by jonmc 25 May | 13:10

Reunited and it feels so good...

(sorry, couldn't resist) : )

posted by Pips 25 May | 13:15

That's fine, Peaches.

posted by jonmc 25 May | 13:19

Matildaben was on here way down I-5 to hook up with ME but she saw cmonkey laying drunk and half clothed by the side of the Burlingame exit, and that was that. . .

*sniff*

posted by danf 25 May | 13:21

Sorry, Dan, you just have too much hair on your head.

posted by matildaben 25 May | 13:28

I think of each and every one of you when I masturbate, singly and in groups of four.

posted by danostuporstar 25 May | 13:36

Would you like a tissue? : )

posted by Pips 25 May | 13:39

You masturbate in groups of four? Aren't you a little old for that? And watch that incision, dude.

posted by rainbaby 25 May | 13:42

hook-downs, eh? Thank God for the Divide.

posted by carmina 25 May | 13:52

I think this is an inappropriate question, and I think any answer that involves someone other than yourself is equally inappropriate. Just sayin'.

Also, what TPS said.

posted by mudpuppie 25 May | 13:58

Ditto.

posted by Specklet 25 May | 14:06

Anyone wanna see pictures? I've started an album...

(I knew I shoulda stayed outta this one... I kid because I love.) : )

posted by Pips 25 May | 14:12

Indeed.

posted by me3dia 25 May | 14:12

I hooked up with a donut last night, then ate it.
Do any other straight guys do this?

posted by Hellbient 25 May | 14:20

Just to say: I think this question was perfectly appropriate, given the wide variety of questions and answers that have been deemed "okay" by the "community," and I'd like to encourage Joe Famous to keep it real, stay yourself, and don't be muzzled by peer pressure.

And on preview, if by "donut" you mean "crack fiend" and by "ate it" you mean "gave her a nice big rock," the answer is yes.

posted by Hugh Janus 25 May | 14:28

Well there's the thing...

I've heard so many stories sans names and situations that I decided to ask.
That's all.

It really ain't THAT serious at all.
Just sparking up conversation.

And besides, I've seen way worse questions/subejects/comments.
So what gives?

I'm just sayin', I ain't twistin' arms here. Just axxxxxxxin'.

No doubt, Hugh. I'm as real as the world.

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 14:39

No worries, here, my friend. Wish I'd get to meet ya sometime. Jon says such nice things... Friday meetup?

posted by Pips 25 May | 14:50

(and JF, did you know cowgirls were reversible??)

Ooooo, naughty. : )

posted by Pips 25 May | 14:51

Argh.

posted by cmonkey 25 May | 14:52

Sure two beers and a stogie?
Usual spot?
I can't stay long, but Mrs. Johnny Mack is worth a visit

(been so busy recording that I'm beginning to hate it!)

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 14:53

I didn't know that, Pips

Do they wear these things? lol.

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 14:55

/www.rubylane.com/shops/patstitchingpost/item/260

sorry for got the damn link...

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 14:56

Actually, there's a sitewide meetup at 7:30 at Revival on Friday.

posted by jonmc 25 May | 14:57

Dammit! Can't make it. It'll be too late for me by then.

But hey. I'm DJing this Sunday at
DOWN THE HATCH
179 W. 4th St. (btw 6th & 7th)

First three rounds on me!

(no, not literally Johnny Mac!)

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 15:04

*sighs* Why doesn't info like that get filtered through to here? First I miss TPS's grand debut, and then I almost missed more drinking at Revival?

*shakes head* You know, I am bringing colored markers with me this time.

posted by TrishaLynn 25 May | 15:04

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay, good times TrishaLynn.

And just for the record, I don't think the question is inappropriate, I just don't think anyone is going to answer that hasn't blared it from the rooftops already.

Psst, Joe Famous, I give all the REALLY good dirt in person...This is why people come to meetups. Bwa ha ha.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 May | 15:06

Well, me and pips will be at Antarctica today 'round 5 if anyone wants to hang.

posted by jonmc 25 May | 15:07

Well, some of us would prefer that our private lives not be blared from the rooftops, but apparently that doesn't stop anyone from doing it for us.

posted by cmonkey 25 May | 15:10

I had no idea ikkyu2 and occhiblu were together. Neat-o!

No one from mecha has so much as pass at me. Humph. Must be the mom thing. Guys don't make passes at girls who bear lasses.

posted by jrossi4r 25 May | 15:13

I really just asked 'cause I didn't want to inappropriately walk in on something...errr...duuuurteee by mistake. lol.

(mirroring what happend to me once)

SORRY, GASPODE! lol.

oh lawwaday lawd!

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 15:14

Guys don't make passes at girls who bear lasses.

HAHAAHAH, jrossi4r, that's awesome.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 May | 15:15

mr. g has been shouted out from a meetup, so he's kind of like an adjunct member, I think.

Also, TL, I linked you to the meetup thread the other day. Where's the love?

on preview: no need to apologize, JF...NOW THAT IT'S BURNED INTO MY EYEBALLS...:)

posted by gaspode 25 May | 15:17

me and pretty generic are getting married

fyi

posted by thirteenkiller 25 May | 15:20

that *thunk* you hear is my head every so gently hitting my monitor screen.

posted by jonmc 25 May | 15:21

:D

posted by thirteenkiller 25 May | 15:22

viachicago and I are having the babies' of Taylor Hicks. SOUL PATROL!!!!!!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 May | 15:23

Gaspode, if I wasn't Black, I'd be red right now! lolololol.

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 15:23

gaspode: I forgot to go back to that thread. *shamefaced* I will buy you a drink to make up for it!

And there was dirtiness? That I missed? Or are we talking about the "NIGHT THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED, REPEATED, OR WHATEVERED, SO HELP ME GOD OR I SHALL SMITE YOU"?

posted by TrishaLynn 25 May | 16:14

Yes, thirteenkiller and I are to be wed. mathowie has rejected the invitation to be a bridesmaid. However, he will always be in our hearts.

posted by Pretty_Generic 25 May | 16:42

Not in mine

posted by thirteenkiller 25 May | 16:43

I think you'll find he's there. In his tiny recumbent bike.

posted by Pretty_Generic 25 May | 16:44

Don't tell anyone, but I've heard stuff about megnut and jkottke.

posted by stilicho 25 May | 16:49

"NIGHT THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED, REPEATED, OR WHATEVERED, SO HELP ME GOD OR I SHALL SMITE YOU"?

Yup...that'll be the one. LOL.

I owe the whole world a drink!

I love you all!
This was awsome!

Trish, again, that was GREAT NEWS earlier!
Good to hear . I was worried for a sec there.

Peace, Ya'll!

posted by Joe Famous 25 May | 16:52

Joe - what do you spin?

posted by Hellbient 25 May | 17:04

I imagine the NYC members all wear masks and meet in a big house - as in Eyes Wide Shut.

posted by seanyboy 25 May | 17:25

Just to say: I think this question was perfectly appropriate, given the wide variety of questions and answers that have been deemed "okay" by the "community," and I'd like to encourage Joe Famous to keep it real, stay yourself, and don't be muzzled by peer pressure.

Just to clarify and refine what I said earlier: I'm not trying to pressure my peers into anything.

What I meant was that the question posed contains inherent invasions of privacy. Some of us are introverts, some of us are extroverts, and some of us necessarily share more than others. Yeah, there have been hookups (surely more than I even know about), but asking people to dish about them puts the more circumspect and discreet among us in an uncomfortable position, since we may well be the subject of the dishing. No one really has the right to do that, in my opinion.

If it were a question about revealing something embarassing/intimate about oneself, that would be one thing. But the quesion requires the respondent to reveal something about a person (or people) who may not want the information served up for public consumption.

And yeah, I think that's inappropriate in many cases. Not all, no. But it's not fair to sacrifice the privacy of the private for the entertainment of the public.

(And if any one of the 6 hookups I've had say a word about it, I'll kick each and every one of your asses!)

posted by mudpuppie 25 May | 17:56

You're right, mudpuppie, but your point is moot- nobody revealed anything in this thread that wasn't already known (well, except the marriage of thirteenkiller and Pretty_Generic- congrats, you two craaaaaaazy kids!!!!). Which shows that we're all big boys and girls and can take care of ourselves and each other.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 May | 18:04

/me wonders what mudpuppie is so afraid of... :)

Also, now we know thirteen_killer is PG's sock puppet. The asshattery in the DUI thread is explained.

posted by knave 25 May | 18:11

I don't think it's a moot point. I think that stuff has been revealed that people might not have wanted revealed (maybe before this thread, maybe implied in this thread). These kinds of threads only reinforce and reiterate that okayness of violating someone's privacy. I'm saying the privacy considerations should be present from day one. Yeah, some of them slipped away before this thread, but that doesn't make discussing those things in this thread any more appropriate.

I'm banging my head against a wall here, and I'm obviously in the minority. I'm just saying, don't talk about it if you're not sure both parties are okay with it.

posted by mudpuppie 25 May | 18:21

I agree.

posted by box 25 May | 18:48

I didn't see anyone say anything about named people that wasn't already out in the open. Everything else was either a joke or didn't name names. If I revealed things about people in a way that could be figured out who they were that wasn't already common knowledge, I'd have to commend the detective skills of the person who thinks they figured out who I meant.

posted by matildaben 25 May | 18:50

If I revealed things about people in a way that could be figured out who they were that wasn't already common knowledge, I'd have to commend the detective skills of the person who thinks they figured out who I meant.

See, that's what I'm talking about. Due respect, mats, it's not your place to imply anything about anyone who's not you, whether people can figure it out or not. It's still an invasion of privacy -- if for no other reason than the people you're talking about might be well aware of what you're saying and might be scared shitless that you're not being as cryptic as you think you are.

I don't think it's okay for any of us to reveal anything so personal about anyone else without their consent, no matter how well we try to cloak it. Frankly, I think it's kind of rude, and if someone did that to me I'd be righteously pissed.

posted by mudpuppie 25 May | 19:21

Perceptions of what's out in the open might be wildly different.

I, for example, only now learned that ikkyu2 and occhiblu were an item. (Or maybe I knew once, and it slipped my mind--not the point.)

posted by box 25 May | 19:37

mudpuppie, I'd understand your anger if you could provide one solid example of what you're talking about actually having been done. I just don't see it. Save your strength, sister.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 May | 19:41

Pink, I could provide a couple of them. (But out of respect, I won't.) I'm glad you don't see it -- but honey, that don't mean it's not there.

I still maintain that this is a really slippery slope. I'm only urging caution and respect, 'cause this sort of thing could get nasty.

posted by mudpuppie 25 May | 19:54

The thing you have to remember is- we can't read each others minds. All most of us are to one another is names on a computer screen. Maybe I know plenty about some of you, maybe I've even met some of you in person, but that doesn't mean every little in-reference I'm gonna get. Hell, I'm gonna miss over some of the obvious stuff. And I think that's true for most people. So I don't think we have to start worrying about people's privacy* just yet. Particularly because I know that I have secrets (OMG SECRETS!) that I've managed to keep from you all, just by keeping my mouth shut. The stuff that's out there is out there because people put it there. No one has been put in the spotlight; everyone who is there wants to be.

*The Internet is public, everyone should remember that. Don't want it out there for all to see? Don't say it here. And you probably shouldn't say it on IRC, either, as plenty of us spend so much time between here and IRC that it all tends to blur together.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 May | 19:58

fwiw ive been trying to hook up with stilicho for quite some time now. but the fact that neither one of us is gay has resulted in a rather awkward, troublesome, and somewhat confusing situation. like in the cartoons, when those two guys are marooned on the desert island and the one guy starts imagining that the other guy is a hamburger--

...uhh.. ive already said too much, havent i

posted by Wedge 25 May | 20:22

FINE, I'll admit it, pips and I are in love and I'm trying to steal her away fron jonmc. Way to DRAG IT OUT of me.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 May | 20:29

She is only my sockpuppet in the entire-hand-insertion sense.

posted by Pretty_Generic 25 May | 20:41

D:

TOO FAR, PG

TOO FAR

posted by thirteenkiller 25 May | 20:42

So I don't think we have to start worrying about people's privacy just yet. [...] The Internet is public, everyone should remember that. Don't want it out there for all to see? Don't say in here.

The last part of this is completely true, and invalidates the first bit... by which I mean that only we as individuals should disclose what we choose to in full knowledge that this is a public forum, and shouldn't deny other people that choice by hinting, implying, or leaving clues to off-screen goings on, unless there is consent from the other party. I'm an irregular visitor here, but I'm sure I'm not the only one; and I'm sure there are lurkers, too. I just wanted to back up mudpuppie on this.

posted by jokeefe 25 May | 20:44

also with the DUI thread she had just been turned down for a job and was having a bad day and after posting wanted to apologise but felt unable to back down.

geez, our kids are gonna be the finest trolls in the world.

posted by Pretty_Generic 25 May | 20:47

See, now I understand what mudpuppie is getting at.

/punish

posted by thirteenkiller 25 May | 20:59

onose metafilter brought us together metachat will tear us apart again

posted by Pretty_Generic 25 May | 21:01

THATS IT IM UNINSTALLING

posted by thirteenkiller 25 May | 21:02

man this is not a joyous division

posted by Pretty_Generic 25 May | 21:03

aw baby I'm just kidding, you're good for me

posted by thirteenkiller 25 May | 21:04

I so have crushes on two or three metachatters—in a real sense, like I'd ask them out if I could. I feel a little bit like LT, here: I don't find many women as smart and cool as the women here very often in the real world. As I've mentioned, match.com and the like have been awfully depressing. And for the record, jrossi4r, I don't mind at all if a woman has kids—at my age, quite a few do. Hell, what's really weird is that quite a few have kids who are grown and in college.

And I'd love a kid, but haven't had one. Seems like some weird time-warp happened to me between 29 and 39. Whoosh!

Anyway, I can't figure out how where to meet really smart and cool women in real-life. When I was at St. John's College, it seemed like there were scores of women who were exactly my type where I'd hardly ever met even a few that were before that. But, um, I was married at the time. (I really should be going to the ABQ and maybe even the Santa Fe monthly alumni seminar meetings, I'd probably meet some alum women my age and available. Since it's a seminar, there's always a reading and every month—I did this in Austin, too—I'd plan to go but the date would come around and I hadn't done the reading. Which is a huge faux pas in the johnnie community. Students in school are often suspected of doing it, but it's really looked down upon. On the, um, rare occasions that I hadn't done the reading, I wouldn't participate even though it's tempting. I figured I could be at least that virtuous. Oh, hell, I'm digressing like a crazy person.)

I'm not very good at flirting, so I don't even know if the people I'm crushing on even know that I am.

posted by kmellis 25 May | 21:09

I'm not very good at flirting

Have you tried using fewer paragraphs per flirt?

posted by Pretty_Generic 25 May | 21:14

I apologize now to anyone who may have found any of my comments untoward. I'm sorry.

posted by matildaben 25 May | 21:15

Yes, thirteenkiller and I are to be wed. mathowie has rejected the invitation to be a bridesmaid. However, he will always be in our hearts.

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Wedge 25 May | 21:15

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Pretty_Generic 25 May | 21:20

I haven't hooked up with anyone from here. Any volunteers? ; )

posted by sisterhavana 25 May | 21:57

Actually, it's probably the 7' husband than the kid that puts people off. And if it's any consolation, kmellis, he doesn't know how to flirt either.

Now, slip me some tongue sisterhavana!

posted by jrossi4r 25 May | 23:03

kmellis, I'll take you out for coffee!

*looks at map* Oh wait. Dag.

posted by jokeefe 25 May | 23:44

*sighs*

posted by kmellis 26 May | 00:14

I have to agree with mudpuppie and I spotted one instance in this thread where something was revealed that another party wanted not to be - we all know bits and pieces about each other and it is better to be circumspect in these situations, because you never know when you will add the last piece in a puzzle for someone.

posted by dg 26 May | 00:14

I am thankful to each and every MetaChatter for whatever they feel comfortable sharing of themselves, it is immensely enriching.

posted by sciurus 26 May | 07:11

I agree.

posted by box 26 May | 08:02

I'm just saying, don't talk about it if you're not sure both parties are okay with it.

Agree, that would be rude. The introverts like me might want to limit hook ups to those who are polite.

posted by Mitheral 26 May | 11:04

I agree with Mudpuppie on this one hands-down: while it's fun to find out metachatters are dating, it's not fun to read about how often they have sex/are thinking about sex/planning on getting it.

Especially if these kind of posts come from one source, but not the other. It does make you wonder if all parties concerned know or are okay with it.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 26 May | 12:12

No hookups whatsoever. And I'm plenty disgruntled about that. PLENTY.

posted by Orange Swan 26 May | 12:54

So it's not the question, which can be taken in a variety of ways, that's inappropriate, but the answer, which depends on the delicacy of the answerer. And, let me see if I have this right: because there are a few people who might answer this question in a way that might compromise others, the question shouldn't be asked of anyone else.

It makes sense for folks' privacy to be respected and protected, but I fear the general application of this principle. And I do hope nobody's being bulldogged here; rope burns.

posted by Hugh Janus 26 May | 13:14

You have rope burns??!? That's too much information, Hugh. :D

In general, I'd say that the very intimate stuff, and the intensely personal ... "statistics" are best left to private conversations, and kept as such.. private.

We're all curious about each other, and that's fine.

Statistically, it's likely that some who read Metachat really are skuzz getting too much information.

Not everyone who reads, participates.

posted by reflecked 26 May | 13:30

Yeah, I do agree, myself -- I'm right shy about that kind of thing, but I'd also say that's a matter the discretion of the respondent, not the appropriateness of the question. All sorts of appropriate answers could be given, and I just have a beef with the idea that a potentially embarrasing question shouldn't be asked. And I wonder why such an objection this time, and not in other instances when these and more personal details come up.

Git along, little dogies! Hyaaaaah!

posted by Hugh Janus 26 May | 13:39

I've been unable to articulate my feelings, but Hugh Janus did it perfectly. Thank you, kind sir.

It's feeling like people are using this thread as an excuse to air grudges, or make points, or something, and most of the rest of us, while sympathetic, are not really spending our time trying to puzzle out y'all's personal lives. If people have caused problems, or if you're worried about people causing problems, then talk to each other directly, I think.

posted by occhiblu 26 May | 13:52

yep.

posted by gaspode 26 May | 14:07

I don't mean to speak for anyone, but I suspect that the reason people spoke up this time, as opposed to all the other times, is because this particular question is one where someone could easily reveal somebody else's personal information.

posted by box 26 May | 14:17

Also, what's a hook-down?

posted by box 26 May | 14:18

Actually, we would like to discourage too many personal details.

We made a post advising members to try to be a little safer in how much they reveal, and we put the same information in the wiki, but I don't think it made much of an impact, and to be honest, I feel kind of worried. People reveal waaaaaay too much here.

I know it feels like a small intimate place, but it really isn't... and sometimes people say things that are fine and understood among friends as being silly, flirtish and joking around, but other people may see certain comments as invitations to come calling. Not everybody reading along may grasp the spirit in which many things are said. And then when other specific information about your lives is revealed, it makes it sort of dangerous.

I don't want to nag the hell out of everybody, and we really don't want to start deleting stuff, but it's probably our major problem/consideration at this point. You may say, "well, we're all adults and it's our choice" but we feel a responsibility, and it's worrying us.

posted by taz 26 May | 14:22

taz, dear, this gets a little spooky.
I feel that something has happened/you noticed that provoked this reaction from you, twice. Something other than reading a post that made you uncomfortable. This is not just you are thinking loud, is it? If so, maybe you want to tell us/the person involved directly and specifically?

posted by carmina 26 May | 14:46

I'd still posit that

advising members to try to be a little safer in how much they reveal,

Isn't the same as telling the poster that

this is an inappropriate question, and I think any answer that involves someone other than yourself is equally inappropriate.

One is encouraging folks to be discreet, and the other is telling folks to shut up. When it all boils down, that's what burns my pan.

posted by Hugh Janus 26 May | 14:51

I'd like to second carmina's comment.

posted by ethylene 26 May | 15:11

I am definitely not an advocate of censoring anyone here - post/comment away! Nor am I trying to "bulldog" anyone, string anyone up, etc.

My personal belief is that you shouldn't make intimate posts/comments about other mechazens without getting their approval first. If they're cool with whatever you want to say, go for it.

I, for instance, have been dating the Bunnyhead logo for months now, and it went and got an LT tattoo about the same time I got mine. We talked about it recently, and it's fine with me saying this.

That's all, just respect the levels other people have about stuff like sex and sharing, and it's all good.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 26 May | 16:47

Hugh (et. al.), I don't think mudpuppie was telling people to shut up, I think she was making the point box just made.

box: ...this particular question is one where someone could easily reveal somebody else's personal information.

pup: ...any answer that involves someone other than yourself is equally inappropriate.

And, I think if the question is considered inappropriate, it is because it encourages people to reveal personal details... which is what taz is wanting us to avoid.

No one's trying to censor anyone else.

posted by Specklet 26 May | 17:30

[blind item retracted by request of the original commenter]

posted by carmina 26 May | 18:13

Would it be possible to delete my comment and replace it with a phrase such as [blind item retracted by request of the original commenter]? I tried to keep it wink-wink but I realize now that I didn't even have permission to do that, and it might be a bit much.

posted by matildaben 26 May | 18:18

Oh, shit, what the fuck did I do there???? I had something of a brain fade and, in trying to be helpful, screwed with the wrong comment. carmina, I am sorry. If you can remember what your comment was, e-mail it to me and I will fix it.

I am an idiot.

posted by dg 26 May | 19:03

For what it's worth this late in the game, I apologize (sincerely, and especially to Hugh) for calling the question itself inappropriate. I hope I explained myself better in subsequent comments.

One last time, what I meant was: I don't feel it's appropriate for person X to talk about person B's sex life without the express consent of person B (regardless of whether that sex actually occurred between persons X and B). The question itself invites that kind of creep into what is, for me and others -- but not all of us -- a gray area. That's what I was reacting to.

Also want to say that I was grinding no axe against any one commenter, but was basically (and, obviously, ineffectively) waving my arms and screaming "Danger Will Robinson." That's all.

I stand accused, maybe rightfully, of nannying, moaning, groaning, and being boring. So if that's how I came across, I apologize for that too.

And now I am off to roger the bunnyhead.

posted by mudpuppie 26 May | 20:10

Agreed. But I also feel like it's not up to us as a community to make sure that people have good communication with their partners, or that it's our responsibility to make sure no opportunities for offline misunderstandings arise. It's of course a noble impulse to want to make sure everyone's protected, it's just that sometimes rushing into protect people ends up creating a bigger ruckus.

And we're all about avoiding the ruckuses.

Again, though, I don't know the people involved, or what the issues are, so maybe I'm missing some huge chunk of the story -- on the other hand, I'd assume that most of us are similarly clueless, so if any harm was done, it's probably pretty localized.

And thus endeth my procrastinatory monologue ... and hopefully thus beginneth my getting off my ass and starting my grad school application.

posted by occhiblu 26 May | 20:48

After wandering about the city on errands, it occured to me that I probably did not properly stress the following: I 100% believe you were acting from the 100% best intentions, and reminding people to be respectful, nice, and thoughtful is never a bad thing.

posted by occhiblu 26 May | 22:13

25 May 2006