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18 April 2006

Inspired by this post... How often are you horny?→[More:]What percentage of your day is taken up in being horny? Does it matter if you're in a relationship or not? Does it matter if you're actively dating or not? What other things affect your level of horniness?
post by: Fuzzbean at: 12:35 | 52 comments
A lot. It dosen't matter much if your in a relationship or not. We are animals.
posted by jonmc 18 April | 12:37
I'm not as horny when I'm not with my SO. Which is a good thing.
posted by AlexReynolds 18 April | 12:38
When no object of lust is in the picture: Not so often. Mainly just a physical urge that gets taken care of quickly, about once a week or every two weeks (especially around ovulation).

When an object of lust is in the picture, especially when they reciprocate: All the fucking time!
posted by matildaben 18 April | 12:40
90% of my waking moments. Approximately 50% of my sleeping moments.
posted by agropyron 18 April | 12:40
Now, always. Unless I am sick, and then not at all. Or really really gross, like after mowing and trimming the lawn on a hot day.
posted by tr33hggr 18 April | 12:43
I think this is one of those things that's probably reasonably different between male and female physiology. Also, it probably differs according to age.
posted by matildaben 18 April | 12:46
Depends on the week. Just before my period? Distractingly constant. The week after? Not so much. I can't say that a relationship affects it much, except when it's brand new.
posted by heatherann 18 April | 12:46
What jonmc said. Only time it's not a big part of my day is the first three days of my period.
posted by rainbaby 18 April | 12:50
Being a healthy 24 year old male, I would estimate that every waking minute is a horny minute. The strength of the feeling fluctuates, of course, but it's not something that really goes away. Being in a relationship just makes it stronger, since I can't just tell myself "hey, you'll never have sex again, get used to it and calm down".
posted by cmonkey 18 April | 12:56
In my twenties I was horny about half the time. In my thirties I was pretty much horny all the time. Now it's calmed back down to around 50% (except when I'm ovulating or right before my period, when it goes back up to 100%,) but I don't know how much of the downwards slide is because I'm over 40 or because I haven't had a partner since before I turned 40 and I've finally managed to corral it so it wasn't driving me completely insane 100% of the time because, sorry, masturbation is Just. Not. The. Same. and does not really get rid of horniness.
posted by mygothlaundry 18 April | 13:02
More horny when in a relationship or am crushy.

If not: around ovulation I am rubbung-up-against-door-jambs insatiable. The rest of the time, about every three days I gets the hankerin'.

Stress reduces my libido.

On preview: masturbation really is Just. Not. The. Same.

Sigh.
posted by Specklet 18 April | 13:05
everytime i think about you, my little fuzzbean.
posted by quonsar 18 April | 13:07
I told my last boyfriend that 3 - 4 times a week was probably about right and he seemed to think that was asking a lot. Sigh.
posted by mygothlaundry 18 April | 13:08
Showza! *humps quonsar furiously*

(For the record: 22, F, practically never, relationship status largely irrelevant. On the pill.)

Sigh.
posted by Fuzzbean 18 April | 13:15
masturbation is Just. Not. The. Same


It's another art form! I'm a huge patron of the arts.
posted by rainbaby 18 April | 13:25
If there's someone around that I'm into then I'm pretty horny just about all the time to the tune of at least once a day, twice is better and three times or more is best. If not then its less, down to something "manageable." Lately however (since I'm in full-blown crush mode - note pun) its been pretty hard to control. The fact that said crush is not in the vicinity makes it easier to deal with.
posted by LunaticFringe 18 April | 13:30
I've mentally composed and deleted about six comments for this thread. I've concluded that despite the frank comments already posted, there is still such a thing as TMI here. (Maybe this comment is even TMI?)
posted by agropyron 18 April | 13:38
I am horny 100% of the time, unless I've just had an orgasm. Then I'm 80% horny for about 20 minutes.
posted by sciurus 18 April | 13:38
Actively-obsessing-about-sex-horny will only hit me if I haven't had sex in 3 or more days. And that just doesn't happen chez gaspode.
posted by gaspode 18 April | 13:39
baseline-just-wanting-to-have-sex-horny however, is pretty much a constant.
posted by gaspode 18 April | 13:41
Lately, most of the time. It's been a really long time (by choice), and now I just sort of want to get it on with someone without it having to mean anything. Please, no meaning. I have enough of that in my life already.
posted by mudpuppie 18 April | 13:43
Once every few years or so.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 18 April | 14:00
I suppose it would be more often if it weren't for the SSRIs. There's a boy that's working very diligently (and doing a very good job) at counteracting the effect, which makes me happy.
posted by matildaben 18 April | 14:04
What Specklet said:

More horny when in a relationship or am crushy.

Stress reduces my libido.

On preview: masturbation really is Just. Not. The. Same.

Sigh.
posted by shane 18 April | 14:10
Again, what Specklet said. I'd also add after watching porn, but sometimes the kind of thing that got me hot last time leaves me cold the next.
posted by essexjan 18 April | 14:22
Horny about 65% of the time, honky about 97% of the time. Honking when I'm horny an underperforming 3% of the time! You really should honk if you're horny!
posted by Divine_Wino 18 April | 14:23
I am 55 now, and I have found it decreasing a bit. It still comes up, but with an LTR. . .a very LTR. .. well I am not complaining, but actually now my wife wants it more than I do.

It goes in spurts (sorry). Sometimes I'll have a very horny week then not think about it for another week. I do 'bate, as I get space, several times per week and we make love once or twice on weekends. . .

In a way it sucks. . .horny is good. . .
posted by danf 18 April | 14:27
SSRI effect here also. That's all I'll say about that.
posted by chewatadistance 18 April | 14:29
Horniness? Comes and goes.
posted by ooga_booga 18 April | 14:39
0% - thanks to the magic of beta-blockers and other heart medications. When I was in my 30's, well, that was different.
posted by warbaby 18 April | 14:49
in my thirties I was pretty much horny all the time

God, mgl, thanks for saying that. Glad it's not just me. I had a god-given healthy sex drive already; though I'd heard the stories, I still wasn't prepared for it to shoot through the roof in mid-30s. It's laughable; I seem to have the hormones of a 15-year-old boy.
posted by Miko 18 April | 15:02
Fuzzbean! I wanna know how often YOU'RE horny!
posted by shane 18 April | 15:07
Yep, the mid-30s (and, apparently, the early 40s so far) are pretty fun in that regard. Again, more fun for me if I have a willing participant to exercise the precious natural resource on. Otherwise I don't think about it very much.

Danf alludes to the differing age-related horniness curve between men and women. Although individuals may vary, it is something that makes the older-woman/younger-man constellation rather intriguing.
posted by matildaben 18 April | 15:09
Read back up, shane...sad sad answer is virtually never. :(

I think it's the pills. This is clearly not normal.
posted by Fuzzbean 18 April | 15:12
Oh, Cabana Boy! Another mint julep please!

There is definately a curve.
posted by rainbaby 18 April | 15:18
I believe Cabana Boy is taking his lovely child to the dentist right now. You ladies will have to take a number and wait.
posted by matildaben 18 April | 15:28
Rather atypically for a guy my age (28), I find it's relatively cyclical. i.e., for a week or so every couple months. Mostly though, it's rather difficult for me to parse out being horny from being lonely and desirous of companionship. I don't think I can really separate the sex from the meaning, nor do I really want to. Both times I've got it on with someone who I was not in a relationship with I didn't enjoy it much durring and felt really bad about it afterward. Mostly I try not to think about it much, which is a necessity, since it only seems to happen every three or so years. Of course, I've got a nice big pr0n stash on the computer, but that's for 'management' purposes.
posted by pieisexactlythree 18 April | 15:32
oh, practically never! I was, like, practically never what?

yeah, some pills will have an effect, as people have noted, delaying orgasm (sometimes totally.) google the name of your meds and any term like "sex" or "orgasm" and you'll find tons of pages and testimonies and maybe even suggestions.

i think one of the #1 things that gets in the way of libido, though, is being all awkward and anxious around your partner. i could be wrong. what do i know?
posted by shane 18 April | 15:38
(maybe) similarly to pieisexactlythree, i'm really nervous and enjoy sex very little when i'm with someone and i think i like them way more than they like me, or especially when with someone i think i might end up hurting because i don't want as much as they do... it all just wrecks my nerves and ruins my desire.

it should all be simpler. hang out, don't worry, let it be what it is. i'm working on that.
posted by shane 18 April | 15:43
Although individuals may vary, it is something that makes the older-woman/younger-man constellation rather intriguing.

Intriguing and totally awesome.
posted by cmonkey 18 April | 15:45
My only med is Seasonale (bc pills). The awkward and anxious isn't an issue.

So, basically, I can go off pills and want to have sex but not be able to have sex or stay on them and be able to have sex but not want to have sex...

Or go back on Welbutrin, which did make me horny (and hella thin too, that was fun!) but also made me hallucinate zombies coming out the walls of the shower. Good times, good times...(not).
posted by Fuzzbean 18 April | 15:46
fuzz: the sponge is back, and it's a pretty happy medium between the weirdness of pills and the unsafeness of nothing.

There's really only one downside, and that's that it does have a ...taste.
posted by Miko 18 April | 15:50
someone i think i might end up hurting because i don't want as much as they do

shane (you're reading my mail)...someone recently reminded me of something sort of helpful when it comes to this. You're only responsible for 50% of a relationship. The other person is responsible for their 50%. As long as you're not lying or omitting important truths -- that is, that they aren't hearing a different level of interest from you than you actually feel -- it's OK to assume that they're in your bed because they want to be there.



posted by Miko 18 April | 15:54
Hmm, yeah, pretty much what sciurus said. Cabana Boy knew he selected an able apprentice!

And lately, oh man. Stratospheric level of horniness.
posted by mike9322 18 April | 16:17
Like most girls, it's pretty cyclical...hitting an upswing recently...

...back in high school, it was pretty much 24-7 for me. I was soooo one of those repressed Christian girls...
posted by muddgirl 18 April | 16:25
The new girlfriend has me pleasantly worn out. I'm wondering what to do with all the brain cycles (usually preoccupied with teh sexin') freed up. Maybe I can go for a degree, learn a new trade or something.

That stuff about women in their 40's? IT'S TRUE!

posted by black8 18 April | 16:33
Danf alludes to the differing age-related horniness curve between men and women.

Well this is interesting because about 2 or 3 years ago I considered leaving in that I wanted it and she had NO interest for a long spell and informed me that she did not know if she would ever have interest again.

I decided not to leave, mostly because I could not bear to tell my teenage kid that she would start having two houses, and tried to calm down about it.

Now I am stressed from work, tired a lot, and she is more up for it, even after menopause. Life works in wondrous ways.
posted by danf 18 April | 16:36
All.
The.
Time.

sorry, masturbation is Just. Not. The. Same. and does not really get rid of horniness.
No, it just makes it worse, I think.
posted by dg 18 April | 17:22
I can think of a few times with my ex-girlfriend when sex was not as enjoyable as masturbation.
posted by pieisexactlythree 18 April | 17:56
I'm just going to re-use what cmonkey said, because he says it so well.

Being a healthy 24 year old (fe)male, I would estimate that every waking minute is a horny minute. The strength of the feeling fluctuates, of course, but it's not something that really goes away. Being in a relationship just makes it stronger, since I can't just tell myself "hey, you'll never have sex again, get used to it and calm down".

(If nobody gets any action at the extended summer meetups, I will officially be very shocked.)
posted by YouCanCallMeAl 18 April | 18:26
I have pretty good control over my physiology. Either that, or I'm asexual. I can perform with a partner, but it's seldom a distraction for me. I often just like the physical comfort of sleeping next to someone.

One of the things that makes me so in demand, I guess, as it allows me to be fairly giving since I don't really have to get off. I've never even had blue balls (much to the shock of my partner, right before she passes out. "You're not in any pain, are you? Ok. *clunk*").

And I've always had a thing for the (slightly) older ladies.
posted by Eideteker 18 April | 18:32
Excel really does something naughty to me.

Seriously, Rusty the Bailiff feels all surly about every day, though the following are certain turn-ons:

501 buttonfly jeans
Androgynous ruggedness
Charisma without being an egomaniac
Oh fuck it, Jude Law.

And YCCMA, I was thinking the same thing. Meetups are flesh bazaars.
posted by moonbird 18 April | 21:55
← In honor of finishing up with taxes and the pukes... || The finalists for AprilWinchell.com's citibank slogan contest. →

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