Heh. I must have personally been responsible for atleast 50 of those cows. I've been driving the lab crazy :)

≡ Click to see image ≡
Best use of photoshop EVAR. Now we know why it was invented!

Nonsense. The cows are abducting UFOs, not the other way around.

Everyone knows it's hard to get a good burger on Mars.

That article needs a link to report missing cows currently in your possession.

I don't know why I did it. In fact I don't even rightly remember how or why I did it. But I have about three dozen cows from various feedlots and dairy farms all over California. While they're all delightful, witty, warm, well-read and thoroughly enjoyable companions, and while the endless river of milk is truly a miracle of bounty, and while fresh steaks are sounding pretty good about now, they've eaten all my spinach, every lawn on the block and a whole passel of grommet-like people larvae.

Truly, that last incident just makes me want to go buy them a truckload of spinach as a reward, but for some insane, incomprehensible reason the neighbors are very upset.

It's not like they aren't going to make more or something. There's nearly 7 billion people here. Sheesh. Even after last week's delicious incidents, my neighbors still have an average of a dozen spawn, each. How unique and priceless can they be? Precious snowflakes, my fat, pimpled ass. Precious snowflakes don't snap the antennae off of my GFs car, have sticky faces in colors not found in nature, break and trash every unbolted object that they find, nor do they wake me with their incessent shrieking at the entirely un-Christian hour of 2:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday.

Cows, though, are wise. They understand the value of thinning the herd. Wise, wise creatures, cows are. And entirelly willing minions, to boot.

So, tonight I'm going to get my borrowed cows all hopped up on fresh clover and alfalfa and turn them loose just before bedtime. I told them that they can expect generous rewards for a successful evening. Very generous. They'll be competing for their own weight in fresh clover tonight.

Does this meanwe are going to start getting junkmail with cards of cows saying "Have you seen us?" and milk cartons with pictures of missing cows?

I blame the Texans.

the truth is out there.

That's obviously a black ops disinformation program and you're obviously an agent operating under their various cover programs.

Don't make me go out in the courtyard and taunt my cows with pictures of your ugly mug. They'll get riled, their milk'll sour and they'll come for you, lowing and chewing fearfully.

Aliens want steak. I expect to hear potato abduction stories next.

Are UFOs Abducting Cows?

No.

I love the WWW, but JUST THIS ONCE they're wrong.

The GOVERNMENT is abducting cows.

Bastards.

Aliens are occasionally abducting us.

The chosen few of us who have been abducted will someday be in charge of humanity when the aliens take over. We'll be, like, mediators between the aliens and humanity.

Peace will reign.

Cows will never be abducted (or, for that matter, eaten) again.