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MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

07 March 2006

Don't call me! Along the lines of my kryptonite thread, what shouldn't we call you? →[More:]

Call me Nat or N@, but please don't call me Nate, unless you're referring to me as Nate Dogg. You can call me Al, but I probably won't respond because I won't know who you're talking to.
post by: Eideteker at: 12:30 | 58 comments
In high school, I was known by the majority of people as Andyhuff, all one word. I dislike being called Andy, but having one blended name really got under my skin for some reason.
posted by me3dia 07 March | 12:33
It's Kate, not Katie, Katherine, or Kathleen. If you are an old cute person, maybe you can call me Katie, if you don't realize that my name is really Kate. Everyone else- just Kate, and I *will* correct you.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 07 March | 12:34
Do not, under any circumstances, call me "Rachie."
posted by sisterhavana 07 March | 12:37
Don't call me "Jonathan," ever. It's my full first name and I hate it. I shoulda been named after my dad, I look more like a 'Joe' than a 'Jon' anyway.

Ladies are welcome to call me 'stud-pony' or 'snookums' however.
posted by jonmc 07 March | 12:40
You can call me anything. My name has been mangled beyond all recognition by so many for so long that I pretty much respond to anything even remotely resembling "vowel sound-m-vowel sound-n". Of course, this actually ends up screwing things up even more, because I don't even notice when my name is being mispronounced, and so I never correct people who are saying it wrong.
posted by eamondaly 07 March | 12:41
I don't mind any of my nicknames. In fact I like them, because I feel like they're affectionate. The only thing I find irritating is when people can't manage to say my last name even close to correctly. It's an uncommon name, but it's not that long and it's said exactly like it's spelled.
posted by amro 07 March | 12:42
"Dan the man" is awkward to me.
posted by danostuporstar 07 March | 12:42
It's Kathleen, not Katherine or Kath-a-Leen. Don't call me Kathy or I will scream. Lena is good.

As I said in my wiki profile, all nicknames for Matildaben are acceptable except for "Mattie". That was the original Matilda's nickname, and she has passed away now, so we should honor her memory.

My favorite nickname for Matildaben is "Bean".

Don't ever call me "young lady" during sexual role-playing or any other time, either. I will revert to childhood, assume I have done something terribly wrong, and that I am terribly in trouble, and not in the fun way.
posted by matildaben 07 March | 12:47
I'm pretty laid back about it too. If I don't like what you call me, I'll just tell you.

One insult that I have totally embraced comes from my In-Laws: "Candy Ass." I guess it's a princess thing. I'm a hard worker, but not a joiner. So. "What, she can't get her candy ass up on the roof and lay shingles? What, she can't cook a holiday dinner? Get her Candy Ass up here to deejay the sweet sixteen party." I reclaim the phrase for myself.
posted by rainbaby 07 March | 12:53
:), rainbaby.

If you call me Terry, I'll just look at you in that way I have, and you will shudder, shrivel, and die.
posted by taz 07 March | 12:57
Don't call me Shirley.
posted by sciurus 07 March | 12:59
Just don't call me, ok?
posted by orthogonality 07 March | 12:59
I don't like name-related nicknames. I am never, ever Allie, and Al is what my older brother called me when I was younger. Just Alison will do, thanks.
posted by wimpdork 07 March | 13:00
Don't call me dude.

Also, don't call me Mr. so-n-so. Guh.
posted by Wolfdog 07 March | 13:12
There is no need to comment on my name. Yes, it is unusual in the States. No, you've never heard it before. Yeah, okay, you're unsure how to say or spell it. And yeah, thanks, I've heard of the TV series AND the American girl doll. Sometimes I go by Fliss. Yes, that's hard to say. No, I don't have any other nicknames.

Also, Jolly Green Giant and/or four-eyes? Boo I hate you too mean 4th graders! I hate you!
posted by mygothlaundry 07 March | 13:20
Is rainbaby's ass really made of candy? I think this requires a taste test.
posted by jonmc 07 March | 13:21
Don't call me Diode. I go both ways.

j/k. Don't call me Carrot-top.
posted by Triode 07 March | 13:21
Don't call me 'Janet' or 'Janice'. I was named 'Jan'. And if you persist after I've explained that I'm just 'Jan', I'll add '-et' or '-ice' to your name.

My dad always used to tell people that he named me right. "Plain, simple and short, just like her name" he'd say. Bastard.
posted by essexjan 07 March | 13:33
Dick, Richie (unless you are my sister, and you're not)

posted by Capn 07 March | 13:34
I am soooo not a Rick. I don't like Rick much at all.

When I was 13 and registering for high school, I thought it was time to cast off my childhood name, and registered for school as Rick. It was a new day for the new, cooler me. I was gonna be sooo cool. First day of school comes, and the very first time someone addressed me as Rick, I immediately thought "dear god, what have I done?". Luckily I started undoing it, and then we moved across country 3 months later, and I resumed my somewhat coolish smart kid persona, and insisted I be called Richard. Later in my teen years, I finally relented and let my friends call me Rich. Now, as long as it isn't Rick, I don't mind either. And, I kinda like reeesha...
/end rambling story.
posted by richat 07 March | 13:38
Hi Capn!
posted by richat 07 March | 13:39
My name is Deborah, thankyouverymuch. Deb or ah. The "or" is subtle and more like "er" but it is there, use it. My name is not Debra (see previous) and most definintely NOT Debi (my childhood nickname - my brothers get away with it only because they're bigger than me). Deb and Debs are tolerable.

I will normally use whatever name you use when you introduce yourself. If I use something else, it is deliberate and used to get your goat. It means I like you.
posted by deborah 07 March | 13:41
I'll answer to anything.

I'm old enough to get the generic 'Ma'am' now and then, and I'm having a little trouble with that. I appreciate the courtliness, but it's a little sad when you're not "Miss" any more.
posted by Miko 07 March | 13:45
Occasionally my dad and some of my relatives on that side of the family will call me "Keithie" or "Keefer", which are to the best of my memory the only nicknames that "Keith" produces. I don't mind either—I kind of like it.

As far as netnicks are concerned, "kmellis" doesn't lend itself to natural variations, sometimes people will write "kme", which is fine with me. I don't like anything that implies that my name is "mellis" in some way. And then there's "Ethereal Bligh" on mefi, which is pretty much the only high profile place I've ever used something completely unrelated to my real name, and of course people often call me "EB", which I don't mind at all. I sort of think of myself as "EB", actually. It's kinda weird for me because I'm just not used to having another "self".

On preview: I refuse to use "Miss" or "Mrs", even if the person prefers it. This was not a triviality when I was at SJC, as in tutorials and seminars we always referred to each other with these honorifics; e.g. "Mr. McIntyre-Ellis". I found it very offensive that all the males were "Mister" while the females with very few exceptions were usually "Miss". I hope that more people are using "Ms" there these days, but "Ms" seems to polarize people.
posted by kmellis 07 March | 13:49
Is rainbaby's ass really made of candy? I think this requires a taste test.


Sometimes, after a nice shower. But you like that weird candy. Not meant to be.
posted by rainbaby 07 March | 13:54
Don't call it a comeback! I've been here for years!

Only my mom gets to call me Michael. I'm Mike. Don't you call me Mikey.
posted by goatdog 07 March | 13:57
But you like that weird candy. Not meant to be.

I like the classics, too. Something tells me your ass is in Strawberry Starburst territory. I could be wrong.
posted by jonmc 07 March | 14:04
I use Ms. And just about the only thing that offends me is being called Mrs. Husbandname Husbandlastname. It feels too much like "property of."

Other than that, nothing bugs me. I have a fairly unusual German first name that is easily mangled and grew up in a house with so many kids that names were virtually interchangable. I answer to pretty much anything.
posted by jrossi4r 07 March | 14:06
You could or could not be, jon.

posted by rainbaby 07 March | 14:08
!
posted by danostuporstar 07 March | 14:13
true candy ass (marginally NSFW)
posted by jonmc 07 March | 14:15
People don't call me Mandy twice. (And most people, thankfully, don't even try it once.) My family refers to me as "Manda" or "AJ," and my mom has called me "Lucy" my whole life, so I readily answer to it as well.

My last name? It is not to be pronounced as a compound word. Thank you.

And from the couple of meetups I've been to, I've been surprised at how easy it is to answer to mudpuppie or any derivative thereof.

posted by mudpuppie 07 March | 14:19
jonmc, I am totally ordering them for stocking stuffers next year. Funny.
posted by rainbaby 07 March | 14:22
Glad to have inspired you in the ass arena, darling.
posted by jonmc 07 March | 14:27
You don't get credit for that. You get credit for gift ideas. ; )
posted by rainbaby 07 March | 14:30
break my heart, why don't you...;>
posted by jonmc 07 March | 14:31
Charles or any variant. It's my first name, but I have never used it, even had my SSN changed to read C. and then the rest of my name.

But ya doesn't have to call me Johnson!
posted by tr33hggr 07 March | 14:33
From here on out, I shall call you 'Chuck.'
posted by jonmc 07 March | 14:35
It's ON! :)
posted by tr33hggr 07 March | 14:37
That's the spirit, guys! What good's a secret weapon if you can't use it?
posted by Eideteker 07 March | 14:43
Jonathan! Charles! You two settle down before we have to get Shirley, or Mandy, or Kathy, or Gretchen(?) to settle you down!

Alternately, I am sure Nate, or Debi, or Candy Ass, or Janet would be happy to turn this thread around if you don't stop it!
posted by richat 07 March | 14:45
Funny story.

When my brother was little, 7 or 8 or so, he and my mom got into a conversation about dirty words that he knew. He didn't want to say them, though, so he gave her hints and made her guess the words.

He came to one that stumped her. The clue was "Colorado." My mom was flummoxed, couldn't come up with any dirty synonyms for Colorado. So she dragged some more info out of him. Finally got it out of him that he was referring to the family friends that he stayed with when my mom and dad had travelled to Colorado earlier that year -- Dick and Eloise.

My mom said to my brother, "You know, Dick isn't always a bad word. It's also that nice man's name. What would you do if you had a friend named Dick?"

My brother thought long and hard on this and, ever the problem-solver, said, "Well, I guess I'd just call him Chuck."
posted by mudpuppie 07 March | 14:54
I've developed a fairly thick skin about most things. But I guess I don't like being called "Junior", for two reasons; 1) My name isn't the same as my father's 2) It is what my brother calls me when he is trying to get me mad.
posted by King of Prontopia 07 March | 15:02
That's odd since I always wished I was nicknamed either Junior or Sonny, since they both seem like badass names.
posted by jonmc 07 March | 15:04
Any shortened version of Amanda will result in your untimely demise. My ex used to call me Brooke (my middle name), which I was okay with. A friend of mine calls me by my last name which I hate. He also calls me 'killer' on occasion, which I actually prefer.

Username wise, Al is fine. YCCMA is fine. I don't mind 'meal', but I prefer me3dia's -ated names instead. They're more interesting.
posted by YouCanCallMeAl 07 March | 15:14
Jon, if you want to sound like a badass, change your name to Sonny Chiba Junior. You don't get much more badass than Sonny Chiba, and by your theory, adding Junior to it would make it the most badass.
posted by King of Prontopia 07 March | 15:22
I self-identify as "Ms." and always use it in business. I guess I'm just referring to the call-out on the street when you drop something, which has morphed from "Miss" to "Ma'am" for me.

I agree that it's not parallel to use "Mrs./Miss" when the male honorific stays the same regardless of marital status. The old double standard and definitely a sexist holdover. But I'm also getting more forgiving in my old age, so if I drop my pen and some ol'geezer picks it up for me, I'm not going to give him both barrels for calling me "Miss".

Most days.
posted by Miko 07 March | 15:25
No, Junior has to be the first name to be badass, like Junior Johnson, Junior Parker, Junior Walker. And Mr. Chiba is only one is a long line of badass Sonnys.
posted by jonmc 07 March | 15:25
When I am introduced to you and you say, "Patricia?" I will correct you in .456 nanoseconds. The reason why I am Trisha Lynn [LAST NAME] and not Patricia Pauline [LAST NAME] is that my parents thought about their first choice name and saw me and said, "That's a big name for such a little girl." And considering that I like that story and went through years of having to correct people who insist on writing down "Tricia" instead of the proper spelling, I am very fond of my name, thank you very much.

Having said that, I've gotten used to being called "Trish" as a nickname because there really is no other cool nick you can get from my full name. It has caused me some problems, though, in the anime con world because there's a gal there named Trish Ledoux and whenever I'm hanging out with her (now) husband at the bar, I have to forcefully correct people and tell them that I'm not his wife.

I prefer to be Ms. to Miss, but I got used to "Ma'am" and actually use it myself when trying to get a woman's attention who I don't know because a former co-worker from Kentucky used to do it all the time because that's how he was taught. It was very fun to listen to his phone conversations, because they'd be all Southern and full of "sir's" and "ma'am's" all over the place.
posted by TrishaLynn 07 March | 15:30
You could go with Junior MC, but everyone would think you were a hip hop artist.

The sad part is, if I were missing a few teeth, didn't comb my hair, and got in a pair of bib overalls, I'd probably look a lot like a stereotypical burly "Junior"
posted by King of Prontopia 07 March | 15:34
Color me your color, baby
Color me your car
Color me your color, darling
I know who you are
Come up off your color chart
I know where you're comin' from

Call me (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime
Call me (call me) my love
You can call me any day or night
Call me

Cover me with kisses, baby
Cover me with love
Roll me in designer sheets
I'll never get enough
Emotions come, I don't know why
Cover up love's alibi

Call me (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime
Call me (call me) oh my love
When you're ready we can share the wine
Call me
posted by killdevil 07 March | 17:12
Call me Craig. It's pretty much atomic as names go -- impossible to split apart into diminutives, nicknames or other foolishness.
posted by killdevil 07 March | 17:16
I'm pretty much happy with any variant of my name or indeed any other name. I used to dislike being called "Si" but I got over that. I have a few friends who call me "nomis" in emails, but ironically I have no idea how I (or they) would pronounce it.
posted by nomis 07 March | 17:22
killdevil: But who says we can't make it longer?

Oh, Craigiepooooooo......
posted by TrishaLynn 07 March | 17:24
Oh, in Peru I thought I would call myself "Eduardo" (my middle name is Edward) but quickly realised that it's very hard to pronounce without enunciating carefully. So I became "Simongká", which I quite like.
posted by nomis 07 March | 17:24
I commented in IRC that when people forget my name, which is Michelle, they invariably substitute Melissa. It's uncanny and highly consistent. So when I meet someone new that I will be working with only in the short term, and they say "Melissa", I answer to it rather than correcting them. Although I don't like the name much.

Miko functions as my nickname in real life, as well as on the net.
posted by Miko 07 March | 23:53
My name is David. Call me Dave and I will ignore you. Call me Davo (it's an Australian thing) and I will ignore you completely while plotting to kill you in your sleep.
posted by dg 08 March | 00:25
Nomis is pronounced "noh miss".

Miko: when people screw up my name it's invariably "Brenda". Weird.
posted by deborah 08 March | 12:19
← Creepiest. Axme. Evar. || Bunny! OMG! →

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