Boredom is slowly killing me.

I become a gibbering fool when in the presence of a cute girl.

Gibbering fools. Can't stand 'em.

Real answer: People that sniff constantly, or eat make a lot of mouth noises while they eat. I cannot express how much I loathe these things. If you want to kill me (and I'm sure you do) put me in a room with sloppy eaters that have runny noses.

Repetitive noises, like someone tapping their foot or drumming on a table. This is probably a symptom of some deeper mental problem, and ironic because for a while I took drum lessons. But that's different.

My superweakness used to be Ben Affleck but my brother pushed that button so many times he broke it and now doesn't know the easy "inflame" words.

The best weapon to use against me is being dense. Just don't get my points and ask me to repeat them again and again. But then, I'll just get irritated and go look at pron.

Sorry, iconomy. It's kind of the way my sinuses are put together.

A person with no sense of self-awareness.

Crying. I hate it when people cry in front of me.

At this exact moment: People who enter one-line tickets/bug reports and you have to send about 15 back and forth emails to them before they'll finally reveal all the details of what the problem is.

People who file a single bug report for multiple, unrelated issues. Good lord, people, it's not that difficult.

I have a weakness for anyone who even seems to like me.

My weakness: cats.

My kryptonite: people who ask the same question over and over, in different ways, trying to trick me into a different answer. It crushes my soul and turns me into an ant-headed humanoid.

My eyes. If you touch my eyes, I will freak out and punch you in the throat. I once dropped a five year old with a jab to the stomach before I even knew it was happening.

cmonkey: let's get drunk and talk for hours about how much we hate bad bug reports, and then go smash bottles in the alley.

wimpdork pointed out an interesting dichotomy you guys have established.

Positive kryptonite (things I like that render me weak):
+Redheads, esp. Irish ones.
+Irish girls of all sorts (they remind me of me dear, sainted mum)
+Sexy ladies. The combination of hots and smarts is lethal to my brain. Give me a beautiful pair of eyes that can talk about Kant and I'm rendered servile (which works to my disadvantage, because most women [seem to] want strong men, even to the point of seeming indifference). And don't be shy about the glasses, either. (But don't get those big chunky black emo glasses. Conformity is lame.)
+Music. Certain music incapacitates me. Other music I have to stop what I'm doing and drum along to (I will usually pull into a parking lot for this, if driving).
+Girls that sing. Out loud. In public. I used to sing to girls as a test, and if they sung back, they won my heart. It's not about your voice or perfect pitch. It's about your approach to life. If you worry about what other people think too greatly, good luck trying to actually live rather than merely coexist.

Negative kryptonite (things I hate):
-Silibants. Ss cut right through me.
-Nail-chewing. There's a kid in one of my classes who sounds like he's eating one of those big cartoon hams.
-Car drivers, innatentive ones especially. Left turns kill more motorcyclists than anything else, including motorcyclists' own stupidity.
-Girls who are into organized religion. If you bust out the Jesus thing, you might as well light up a cigarette.
-Politics. Particularly the two-party system. People who can't see they're being deceived irritate me. (But so does arrogance; that's why I'm not listing hypocrisy.)
-People that spend ridiculous amounts of money on crap they don't need. Stereo home theater? You don't need 7.1 sound. I doubt you could tell the difference between it and 5.1. At the most, get 5.1 and invest the money. You don't have to give it away to charity or a starving family, but at least invest it into something that might better society, like energy research.
No, these are not annoyances. They are things that can kill me or blind me with rage (thereby incapacitating me).

Do not patronize me. If you're condescending, it just makes me want to take you down.

cmonkey: let's get drunk and talk for hours about how much we hate bad bug reports, and then go smash bottles in the alley.

That sounds like a brilliant plan!

Eye doctors. Mouth breathers. Eating noises. Egg salad. Spit (note: not saliva. i love kissing. i hate seeing people's spit on the ground). Gum. That blast of cold air that you get in the winter after you take a shower and open the bathroom door.

cmonkey: let's get drunk and talk for hours about how much we hate bad bug reports, and then go smash bottles in the alley.

That sounds like a brilliant plan!

Oh man, can I get in on that? My favourite are ammendments, a la: "Is fixed now, but shows new behaviour: [something totally unrelated]".

1) Spending days on developing a new system/module and then being asked to make stupid minor cosmetic changes (which usually make the software look worse).

"Yeah, that's great Sean. But I want you to move all buttons from the bottom of the screen to the right and make them twice as big. And colour them yellow."

2) Being in a demonstration of the new module and listening to my Boss telling the customer nothing but how great the new buttons are.

"Yeah, well - all this is your standard purchase ordering module, but look at these huge yellow buttons at the side here. You can click on them. Look... Click.. Weeee. Go on, click on them. They're easier to click on because they're so big. And they're yellow. Shall we go to lunch."

Positive Kryptonite:
Cats, having my cat sleep on my lap (something she rarely doesn't do), they was my dog is always so happy to see me when I visit home and stays by my side for the whole weekend, cuteoverload.com, certain Jamba Juice flavors.

Bad Kryptonite: people who pee on toilet seats and don't clean up (this goes double for women who "hover" in public restrooms. Arrgh!), stark raving ignorance (I'm normally a patient person when it comes my peers, but when my roommate asked me, in all honesty "wait, there's a war in the middle east?", well...) people who chew with their mouths open, people who are condescending.

Red Kryptonite: Children.

Seanyboy, you can be in my drinking club.

People who chew with their mouth open
People who are obtuse. I have no problem with people who are unintelligent, because they can't help it, but I cannot stand people who are willfully ignorant.
If I ever came face-to-face with any of these, I would turn to water on the spot.

I have none. I surpass Superman in this manner.