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20 February 2006
OMG Lapjuicer nsfw →[More:]
"Imagine someone making your favourite cocktail with a Lapjuicer… it’s for girls and boys - who do you want to see using it?"
I once had a roommate whose girlfriend was quite passive-aggressive in her dominance of his life. She had her priorites, and one of those was her Sunny Delight. It was sacrosanct, and no matter how little my roommate would drink, she'd start to mutter under her breath "He drank all my juice. Now I'll have to get more juice."
My best friend and I, of course, took this quirk to obscene extremes and made vicious fun of her behind her back, and most of our "emergency juice replacement schemes" come pretty close to fruition with this device. Life is truly wonderful sometimes.
I can think of all sorts of politicians, zealots, and other troglodytes I would like to see this inflicted on, but I would have to pass on any juice extracted.
I honestly had something incredibly witty to say about this whole delightful Lapjuicer contraption, but it got lost in the utter distraction that is freshly squeezed tangerine. Sorry, this'll have to do.
Basically I was saying that you aren't ready for the Lapjuicer...you can't handle it. Huh, it's so not funny when you have to explain it. It probably wasn't funny before that though :P