Ahhh! Somebody hold me.

I was expecting something very different from a link called "parisfacial".

me too!

Since we have the occasional [NSFW] warning, maybe we should have a Paris Hilton warning. Or better yet, a PH blocking option.

Things I hate addendum:

25. Paris Hilton

What does it say about me that I guessed exactly what was at a link called parisfacial?

Something about that look... just drives me batshitinsane. My girlfriend said in reply "It's because that's the open gaze of an empty-headed idiot."

Yeah, it's that, and so much more. It's just so hard to articulate. It's like, I dunno, the primordial hindbrain fear of snakes or something, but not fear, not rage nor hatred. Confusion? Like, confusion over the fact that it's supposed to be a 'come hither' look of sexiness, but is in fact repulsive and frightening instead?

Like, when in the heck did she decide on that "look", and how can she not see how unnatural and goofy it looks? Did she practice and perfect it in a mirror? Or does she just look like that normally in a relaxed state? Did she have a stroke?

Does she not view these pictures herself? Or is she simply isolated from them, living in her gazillionairess bubble of solitude? And how does she manage to broadcast that look to every camera in the area regardless of where the camera is? Does she just do a 360 while the photos are being taken, and then the photo editors just pick that one shot that matches every other shot? I sense a larger conspiracy, or perhaps proof or living demons with supernatural powers.

Perhaps she's actually from another dimension and what we see is simply the projection of her 9th dimensional self into our 3rd dimensional space, in the same way a typical 3D sphere intersects with a 2D plane - no matter the angle of approach, the intersected segment is just a circle of varying sizes.

"It's like Zoolander's Blue Steel look." my GF says, "But worse."

"Huh. 'I call this one Microcephalic Social Parasite.'"

Oh, and the really, truly terrible thing?

If you watch closely you can observe her lips puffing up and deflating depending on how long it's been since her last collagen or silicone injection. *shudder*

For the love of bunnies everywhere, if we're going to post this here on a daily basis, could we at least adopt a naming convention provides a warning about what's about to temporarirly blind us?

WMCB. Warning, May Cause Blindness?

NSFA. Not Safe For Anyone?

Hiltonfilter? Fuck, I don't know.

Like, when in the heck did she decide on that "look", and how can she not see how unnatural and goofy it looks?

I believe she learned the look from studying Donald Trump. There is an eerie resemblance between her "eyes half closed and pouty lip look" and his "eyes half closed and pouty lip look."

Maybe they are evil robots from the same factory?

Teenage Paris Hilton.

How sad is that? She was adorable. I've seen pre-knife pics of Pamela Anderson as well and she was so pretty that the work she's had done seems like a crime. Each to their own and I realize that there are industry standards to live up to, but damn.

If you watch closely

FUCK OFF!

I think this was posted here a couple of days ago, but I just looked at it again while the guitar solo from Metallica's Four Horsemen played. It worked, somehow.

I didn't realize it'd been posted recently or ever.

Yeah, Frisbee, old Paris is actually kind of cute and normal. I hadn't realized she'd been altered so badly.

Couldn't you do this with any celebrity though? I mean, Paris is especially scary to see but I think most celebs have the same facial expression in all of their pictures.

It's both the expression and the pose. Sure, a lot of people, particularly vain ones, have this thing they do when someone snaps a picture of them but Paris seems to be pathologically consistent about it.