MetaChat - Updated Food Pyramid

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07 November 2005

Updated Food Pyramid →[More:]
Previously on the Blue. Tonight, my nephew's Scoutmaster brought printouts from the site to a discussion of "youth nutrition".

Tips & Resources

Your food and activity choices each day affect the entire American agribusiness and pharmaceutical marketplace.

* Make half your grains refined.
* Review nutrition labels, but base your selection of food products on the packaging pictures you find most attractive
* High fructose corn syrup counts as one of your daily servings of grain

Milk
Some "scientific studies" have claimed milk has no connection to healthy bone development. These studies, however, ignore the most obvious correlation -- bones, milk, and teeth are all white.

This calorie level is only an estimate of your survival needs. We actually expect the average American to eat about 50-100% more than we suggest, to help create demand for the approximately 1500 calories per person per day excess of food currently produced by Agribusiness corporations in the US.

post by: dhartung at: 00:07 | 21 comments

These studies, however, ignore the most obvious correlation -- bones, milk, and teeth are all white.

This is why I floss with spiderwebs and keep my bones healthy with pure, clean Columbia cocaine.

(Milk is gross.)

posted by interrobang 07 November | 00:16

What about the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic?

posted by jrossi4r 07 November | 00:27

Tour the Pyramid
Coming Soon!
We appreciate your patience while we complete myPyramid.org

posted by mischief 07 November | 00:33

(Milk is gross.)

Your mother slaved over her hot tits for months making this milk, interro, and you're going to sit here and drink it like it or not!

posted by kenko 07 November | 00:36

Random suggestions:

The Mexican Food Pyramid
(17 servings of salsa every day...)

The Food Sphynx
(they'll tell you what to eat if you answer thr riddle...)

The Food Washington Monument
(hot dogs, cucumbers, popsicles...)

posted by wendell 07 November | 00:37

Your results are based on a 2200 calorie pattern*.

2200 calories? I gain a pound a week on an 1800 calorie/day diet, and that's with walking 3 hours each day. 1500 calories per day maintains my weight. I have to get down to 900-1200 calories/day to actually lose.

posted by mischief 07 November | 00:39

Interrobang's mom has hot tits! Woot!

posted by jrossi4r 07 November | 00:46

Heh. I actually went looking around the site before reading the [MI] or the MeFi thread and I'm going W.T.F.!!

dhartung, I'm hoping the Scout leader brought the info along for spice and not as brain nutrition?

Love the non-discrimination statement.

posted by peacay 07 November | 01:03

You guys leave my mom outta this!

posted by interrobang 07 November | 01:04

No, peacay, he really did think he was on the official site. That pesky little .org.

Good thing the topic wasn't civics, and the address wasn't whitehouse.com ...

he might have noticed that ...

He's a nice guy but his knife is the sharpest thing about him.

posted by dhartung 07 November | 01:08

the funny thing is, if you compare the org to the gov, the org is better designed, using text menus instead of gifs.

posted by puke & cry 07 November | 01:38

Let's pause to remember all those who toiled in slavery and gave their lives to build the Food Pyramid.

What about the whipped group

Yes, those are the ones I'm talking about.

posted by eatitlive 07 November | 02:17

Let's pause to remember all those who toiled in slavery and gave their lives to build the Food Pyramid.

Can't you Stargate nerds hang around some other website? Please? Let me enjoy my donuts in peace?

posted by AlexReynolds 07 November | 02:56

I don't know if they included this anywhere on the web site, but another benefit of this model is that if every member of the household adheres strictly to the food pyramid recommendations, all the knives in the house will stay magically sharpened, forever.

posted by taz 07 November | 04:27

Bad Alex, no donut.

posted by loquacious 07 November | 05:26

I actually thought I was on a real site as well for a short while, and my umbrage at their brazen industry whoring was totally going off the charts.

posted by loquacious 07 November | 05:30

(Milk is gross.)

*nods in agreement*

posted by iconomy 07 November | 06:35

Milk is delicious. My only complaint about milk is that it sometimes makes my graham crackers soggy enough to break off and fall to the bottom of the glass. Drinking graham crackers is gross.

posted by Eideteker 07 November | 08:46

I have long hated milk, until we started buying Horizon. I don't know what they do to those cows, but the results are tasty.

Still, I use it primarily as a cookie-dunking facilitator.

posted by jrossi4r 07 November | 10:35

Milk is gross. Also, I have a violent reaction when I consume it in more than very small quantities. Our intelligent designer did not mean for us to produce lactase as adults!

posted by killdevil 07 November | 12:02

Well, as long as we're taking a survey: love milk, as long as it's 2% or under. Whole milk I don't enjoy. I have never had any problems processing it that I am aware of.

posted by LeeJay 07 November | 17:50

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