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15 March 2022

Lights are on. Anyone home? Who is here and what are you up to? How are those around you?

...............0 (Caspar added this)

So this last month has been going on for a year or so and that kind of fits with the past couple years being both a decade long and just a couple of weeks at the same time. [More:]

I took my wife to ER (I know it is mostly called ED for Emergency Department now but thanks to advertising for boner pills ED just makes me think of sad not boners...) on February 13 and I spent the night there and walked home in the early hours. She had emergency surgery the next day and got out on the 8th of March. She has been doing so much better now that she is home. Her appetite is back and things are getting back to closer to normal.

The surgeon has a decidedly not Anglo-saxon name and my wife heard it as Eminem. So Dr. Eminem he now is. He later told her she was remarkably present and clear for someone in such a state of distress. She is surprised by this as all she remembers of that first few days is pain, and an opioid high where she watched the vines growing off the bed and covering the walls and nurses and Dr. Eminem.

After she was gone for a couple of days the cats had reactions to the changes. Caspar is one of the happiest cats I have ever met. He purrs all the time. But, he is also intelligent and Very Serious Cat. Every day he would come to me every 20 or so minutes and bonk me and check in. Things had changed and it worried him. He came to bed every night but did not do his long kneading and purring thing.

Possum was messed up by all this. He arrived here in very bad shape but he has settled in to a good life and all of a sudden that got turned over. Every night he came and clung to my leg for the entire time I was in bed and he spent as much time as possible curled up in the cat bed under my desk by my feet.

Nora? Well Nora was Nora. Mostly concerned about finding snacks although she did come for scratching more than usual and she has got right back into jumping up to sleep next to my wife on the couch.

We have been doing blood tests and daily wound care visits. My wife's staff sent some very nice notes with a card. Her employer has been great.

It has been a trying time but oddly, and maybe somewhat macabrely, the Russian invasion of Ukraine was very helpful. I would come home and doom scroll the war and feel better. It sounds bad but watching the videos of a shooting war reminded me that my problems are not unique and all of us just keep stumbling forward until we can't. Seeing that other people are going through trials kept me from getting maudlin or too far up my ass.

Ginger, Pan, and Rocky have emerged from another winter and are OK. Someone new may have arrived. Cat food was on sale so I got 8 bags, 96 kg. Maybe I should write about the cats again. It’s been awhile.

Still dealing with the fallout of my brother in laws death and the police investigation and making sense of the forensics I’ve culled from his electronic trails and waiting on more info from the coroner.

Hear is a trance song from KEY4050 - Good Morning. I would like to be up in front of a crowd again.
Reading. Sending vibes. Thanks for the update.
posted by terrapin 16 March | 10:15
Phew, you guys have been through the wringer! I'm so glad your wife is feeling better; hugs and quick healing prayers to her.

I've often wondered if my cats will notice when I'm gone, but then again they sometimes cluster around me when I've only been gone at work, ha ha.

I'm guessing Ginger, Pan, and Rocky are all cats too? I have a neighborhood cat who shows up nearly every morning, to hiss at me when I put food in the shelter for him. That's gratitude for you! (he's jumping in the shelter to eat nearly before I close the back door)

Despite high gas prices I continue to drive to the next state to see my boyfriend. (There needs to be a better name than "boyfriend" when I'm in my mid 50s and he's in his early 60s, lol). We met online a year and a half ago and it's probably the most stable relationship I've ever been in. Knock wood.

Hoping other people chime in....I still love this place.
posted by redvixen 17 March | 15:49
redvixen, Ginger, Pan, and Rocky are indeed more cats. We have 3 cats indoors and a feral TNR colony. The colony fluctuates as cats disappear but right now we have the 3. Pan has been here a long time and is by far the oldest of our cats. Ginger has been here for several years and may someday be ready to be an indoor cat in his old age. Rocky is in his second year here.

Boyfriend girlfriend starts getting weird I think by the late 20s. When my wife and I met she used partner. That was fun because my name, Kelly, is fairly gender ambiguous and no one was sure of what that meant. A guy? Girl?
posted by arse_hat 17 March | 23:04
Hi folks. GOod to hear from y'all. Arsey, man, I'm so sorry for what you've gone through but glad your wife is home & recovering, and glad she has you and the cats. They definitely pick up on what's going on with the humans. Hope everyone settles down soon. I know what you mean about Ukraine, too; it puts things back into perspective to realize that sometimes there are very big world-changing things happening and a lot of people are coping with a lot of shit.

posted by Miko 19 March | 19:31
This has been a long month for me too, but all First World problems compared with people suffering from ill health or trying to survive in Ukraine.

I was meant to be having some work done on my kitchen which should have taken no more than 10-14 days, but I've been badly let down by the contractor (someone I - and neighbours - have used for years, always reliable and trustworthy, until now). He has left me with an unusable kitchen and I've had to fire him and find someone else to finish the job. I had already paid this guy for materials but for (reasons) he no longer has the money and I doubt I'll see it again. He is not in a good place, health-wise, and for me it is a 'been there, done that' situation so I have some empathy. But I am also furious and upset. He knew he wasn't fit to work and so should have told me.

My new contractor can't start immediately, so I am living out of the microwave and toaster, both of which are on the dining table, with everything else packed into storage crates. Consequently, I am not eating the most healthy food at the moment, which always has a knock-on effect on my mood.

Like I said, a First World problem, but it's been very stressful, particularly as I feel so let down by someone I trusted. I've had a big flare-up of psoriasis as a result. and I just want the job finished so I can get back in my kitchen and cook again. I love to cook, it's my relaxation, my way of showing love to people and it's been hard to not have that when there is so much else in the rest of the world that's making me anxious.

This is the closest I've felt since Reagan & Thatcher in the 80s that we would be plunged into WW3, and I can't bear to turn on the news. Putin's fingers are in the pie here, he helped orchestrate Brexit and our economy is in a downward spiral. I think I will be okay, but many people won't be, and I truly fear we might end up with some kind of civil unrest if people can't afford to pay for the basics they need to survive.

On the upside, spring is here, the weather is lovely, I've been getting out into the forest to walk as much as I can (I try to do 5 miles a day), and I've been tidying the garden. Rudi is a psychopath, truly the worst cat I've ever had, but I love him and we have our (very few) moments of joy when he is not trying to bite or scratch me.

Sorry to be so negative, but these last few weeks have been very difficult for me.
posted by Senyar 20 March | 10:24
Whew, Senyar, that is rough. I'm so sorry about all the household chaos in addition to world chaos. But very impressed with your daily walking. I'm aspiring to that level but not there yet.
posted by Miko 21 March | 11:43
Hi everyone. Sorry to hear that some are not having a good time of things and my best wishes go out to you and yours.

We're now just over two years into our major house renovation - we bought the house knowing what it would need, but it does get a bit draining sometimes having to do everything ourselves because every hour we spend on it is an hour we don't have to pay someone ridiculous amounts of money. Still, loving living here and very much looking forward to being able to just enjoy our lovely home without having to feel guilty for not re-building something every minute of every day. The house was built in 1982 and has not had anything done to it since, except for multiple coats of low-sheen blue paint slapped over every single thing.

People go on about how 'they don't build things like they used to' and I say 'thank fuck for that', because the way this place has been built is just awful - our neighbour has had the same experience. The lastest little saga was jackhammering up the tiles in the laundry and finding that the plumbing to the laundry tub has been run under the tiles. Because we're laying the same tile throughout the house all nice and level (instead of the multiple different tiles laid at different levels all over the place), I now have to cut a groove into the concrete slab and recess the plumbing enough that the tiles will go over it. Oh well, I keep reminding myself that we're lucky to have our own house and the health to be able to bring it up to the standard we want.

Other than that, all I can say is 'life is good'. I've pretty much adjusted to losing the job that I thought would see me out to retirement and working from home in a job I don't really like, but that's a much better situation than many are in these days.

Cat-wise, our cat Soxie is getting old and going a bit nutty. She keeps wandering around the house wailing in the middle of the night like she's lost and her former adventurous spirit has waned so she no longer roams around the neighborhood. The Vet says she is just getting old and things are failing, but she's in no pain at the moment, so she just gets lots of treats and cuddles and we'll enjoy having her while we can.
posted by dg 21 March | 19:30
Oh man, just lots of hugs to everyone. Life can be difficult....

And, I am spending more and more time taking care of mom. I think this is the last year she'll be at home. My finances and attitude are toast. Blergh.

I am watching the travesty in Ukraine and feel hopeless for the future.
posted by mightshould 24 March | 18:02
In spite of everything, stuff like this || Maybe we could use something light,

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