One person makes the coffee
The other person gets it and brings it to bed.

The cats make a mess/knock something over; the human cleans it up.
The cat wants food; the human fixes it.
The human makes a mess; the human cleans it up.
The human wants food; the human fixes it.

You live in a catocracy!

The only one I can think of is more a mechanism than a rule.

It's called 3-2-1, as in "What do you want for dinner? Do you wanna 3-2-1 me?" One person chooses three options; the other eliminates one; the first person chooses one of the remaining two. I'm sure I learned it on AskMe and we find it invaluable to cut out endless minutes of dithering.

Yours don't work too well for the single person Miko! Of course I get to keep my own money! And, who's gonna go my dishes? FAIRIES?

:-)

I wish I could think of some house rules, but I am flat out of ideas. I'll pay attention and see if I can find some to implement!

Richat's right. I live alone: I cook, and I do the dishes. On the plus side, I do them any old way I want to.

Oh, and The person cooking gets to pick the music played while cooking.

Any money you find in pockets while doing laundry, you get to keep.
... or on the floor while cleaning said floor.

Last one out of bed makes it.

Since I live alone, any money I find was obviously lost by me, except maybe if found in the parking area in front. And then, anything up to and including a $20 bill, I'm not asking around about.

In the kitchen, I have come to accept my own offshoot of the 'five second rule', which I call my "Two Minute Rule: Within two minutes of entering the kitchen I WILL inevitably drop food either (a) on the floor or (b) on myself. And whichever place I did NOT drop onto in the first two minutes I WILL drop onto in the next two minutes." I am that clumsy. But it gives me an incentive to not hang around the kitchen.

Whores get paid to leave, sex is free.

I agree to keep the trash can in the bathroom behind a closed door; dog agrees not to eat dirty q-tips out of the trash.

Last one out of bed makes it.

People "make beds"?

Heh heh...I can never figure out why I'd bother doing that. I just have a duvet on my bed at any given time, so...I never really bother.

Oh shit...is THAT why I'm single? Should I start making my goddamned bed?

I only make my bed for company. It lays fallow.

Fresh beds are for young fresh fellows who don't know better.
Make your bed if for the ininured.

un

The major one around these parts is whoever fixes food is not responsible for cleanup. Since I cook EVERY MEAL, I rarely if ever clean the kitchen.

I suppose my husband has the rule of turning off every light in the house except for the room you are in because what? You trying to make the power company rich? I don't follow that rule so well myself.

Don't fob YOUR responsibilities off on your kids!

Okay, I live alone as well and a fairy DOES do the dishes. ME! I am the amazing dish fairy! Poooof! They're done! Now we may have drinks.

Any money I find in pockets, including those of my infrequent callers, is mine. This I justify by having to clean the house before they arrive. I may be the dish fairy but I don't do the Hoovering unless I have to. ;)

The one rule I do insist on is that the neighborhood pets, which roam freely around here, are always welcome into the house for a snack and scratches. The one exception is if they want in to eat their latest catch or offer a still-living gratuity. Further, if they want to laze on the couch or bed, they may as my furniture is crap and couches and soft chairs are love to cats and dogs.

The cats can be on the table, but not during human meals.

I guess when I lived alone I didn't think of any of my habits as "rules;" they were just what I did, so there was nothing to negotiate.

I dunno, Miko, I bet you'd be a tough negotiator, even WITH YOURSELF.

My boss often makes comments to me about how he'd hate to work for a guy like himself. Makes me laugh.

In my family, we had the "if you cooked, you don't have to clean up after" rule, and I've brought that with me to every relationship. And because my domestic partner (hee! I love being able to say that) doesn't like cooking that often, he does the dishes all the time.

Also, I've never understood why people make beds. If you don't have company coming over a lot (which we don't, and besides, we wouldn't have them in our bedroom), who sees it besides us? Even my guy, who has OCD tendencies towards tidying up doesn't care about making the bed.

Never leave dirty dishes out: they get washed and put away or into the dishwasher.

Jeopardy! Is first choice of DVR'd fare. Pescetarian cooking shows are second choice. Baseball games the Mariners are winning trump either.

Bears always feed cats but only feeddog and clean cat boxes when bearwife isn't around.

Never throw out what can be composted or recycled. And turn off any appliance or light not currently in use.

Cats and the dog rule.

I never really made beds either, until we got our shit together and totally decluttered our apartment. It makes me happy to walk into the bedroom and see it looking perfectly tidy, with the bed made. Also, mr. gaspode is a very restless sleeper, so we always end up with a sheet on the floor or whatever, so we have to pick up the sheet or comforter anyway, so might as well make the bed.

Well, here's a rule from my family in general, anyway: on your first birthday, you get to eat your cake any way you want. Including digging your fingers in and throwing a wad of it at your uncle.

I always make the bed. I like it that way.

Cats belong on top of duvets, not under them or on sheets. He is not good at obeying this one.

The original rule was "cats do not belong in the bedroom at night" but after a couple of months of sleepless nights and a nearly-destroyed bedroom door, we abandoned that one.

The people are fairly well-behaved in our house.

I live alone too!

My general house rule is to try and pick up as much as I can before going to bed/leaving the house. (This typically involves picking things up as I go along, which helps immensely in improving my state of mind.)

The cat does not get fed until my food is started.

Meals should be planned in advance of their time. (It doesn't have to be something like a whole week at once, but at least a couple of hours so I don't wind up cranky with no idea what I'm going to eat.)

Before leaving the house for an extended period of time, everything must be tidied and put away and trash must be taken out.

My only rule is "Cash, grass, or ass."

It's no wonder I don't have guests more often. =(

If galadriel says the pets need something, they get it.

If galadriel or Mr. G think they might need something--of any variety, from electronics to health care--it gets discussed and budgeted. The pets may contribute to the discussion but they don't have much to say.

(Live alone) be as messy as you want, with two huge exceptions:

1. Absolutely no food left out, anywhere, ever (i.e., always do the dishes immediately).

2. Make sure there is a clear, wide path to all the places you go (bathroom, couch, bed), so there will be no stubbing of toes.

Beds must be made before leaving the house or face the wrath of The Father.

I'm partial to Catherine's rules, personally.

Animals eat before humans, since they can't cook for themselves. (This is my grandfather's rule and we've all stuck with it.)

Also, there are situations in which the "cook doesn't clean up" rule isn't optimal: if you collaborate with a cook who doesn't work neatly and efficiently, and fails to do a reasonable amount of cleaning up as s/he goes, it can help to switch to "you make the mess, you clean it up."

Also, those cooks whose cooking sucks.

House rules?

It's lupus.

1) Bed gets made every day, even if it doesn't get made until twiggy gets home from work at 7pm cause the bf's been busy/lazy.

2) Whoever cooks or gets the takeout doesn't clean up.

3) All the doors get locked by one person at bedtime and double checked by the other person. Least reliable person goes first.

We can't do the "whoever cooks doesn't clean up" method, because I'm a tidy cook and will clean up as I go along, but he's a kitchen artist who will use every pot and pan and will make an enormous mess. As tangerine suggests.

We can't do the "whoever cooks doesn't clean up" method, because I'm a tidy cook and will clean up as I go along, but he's a kitchen artist who will use every pot and pan and will make an enormous mess. As tangerine suggests.

I did think of one more rule, though I'm embarrassed by it.

Every so often, I see a house centipede in the bathroom. I am phobically, embarrassingly terrified of them. If I can't bring myself to smash it --- or, more likely, if I freeze up for the crucial first second and it gets away --- I send The Fella after it and leave the room.

The rule: whether he gets it or not, he tells me he killed it. Though I know that some uncertain percentage of the time, it gets away, this allows me to believe that this time, there's no more centipede in the bathroom.

1) no cats on kitchen counters or the dinner table, full stop. Coffee table is negotiable so long as we're not currently eating there; other times it's mostly ok.

any other horizontal surfaces are fair game regardless of height. I seem to be exceptionally good at teaching and reinforcing this one with minimal fuss, noise or drama, and the cats I've lived with have been very good at understanding those boundaries once delineated. However, I also have never had particularly ornery or challenging cats (and there's a reason for that...) plus they tend to prefer their own cat trees as they are their own personal territory.

2) any cats creating an unholy ruckus between the hours of 10PM and 5.30 AM shall be summarily sleep-marched into the garage until $REASONABLE HOUR (it's climate controlled plus they have a luxurious sleeping and hangout arrangement with litterbox and water out there anyhow) so don't push it buddy.

3) during any bouts of bronchitis, restlessness, insomnia or other disruptive sleeping patterns related to illness/stress/whatever, the sick one gets the master suite and the healthy one gets the livingroom sofa (we are fortunate enough to have the World's Comfiest Couch tho).

4) anyone grizzling on about $MESS gets to clean it up, if only because both of us are fairly tidy and keep things well in hand. Exceptions made during joint cooking ventures where mr. lfr has learned that he WILL clean as he goes under pain of A Very Stern Look from his sweet wife.

5) the one doing all the vacuuming is exonerated from bathroom chores, and vice versa (I LOATHE vacuuming).

6) critical bike maintenance that interferes with serviceability of said bike for an upcoming event/ride trumps all other household chores.

the "animals are always fed prior to people because they can't fend for themselves" is an old family tradition that I've adhered to since I was tiny growing up on the farm. It was handed down thru generations of family, and is a traditional farmer's rule.