I seem to be on a perpetual rollercoaster ride, where everywoman I meet, is going to be The One who’ll save me from myself… please help, some good advice, and sound encouragement needed!

(((theora, I hope your boy comes back to you soon)))

Good advice: no one can save you but you, and "saving you" is a pretty enormous burden to put on someone else.

Breathe, good luck.

maybe this is a common way to think among introverted depressed dudes cause I kinda recognize this sentiment in my old self. That I want to meet someone who'll change me but how can I meet someone awesome until I change?

So I have the basic steps that brought me peace on this front:

basically

(a) work on yourself and your life

(b) you'll meet all sorts of people in the normal course of life and when there's a spark you'll know and you can take it from there

(c) don't put so much significance on random women, attraction, etc in general. just be relaxed about desire and discipline your emotions.

It kinda sucks in a way, you know, as humans we never asked to have this painful, gnawing draw of desire within us that merges our physical urges, emotional states and mental faculties. But it's our genetic, biological heritage--built into us way before our ancestors were even human--we're left holding the bag for it. All you can do is control and channel it.

also just something I thought of, in our culture hadjiboy , you don't even need to do that sort of finding a woman all by yourself.. once you're financially and otherwise a bit secure in your own life you can outsource a lot of that search to your parents/relatives

so whatever route you end up going, all roads lead back to 'get yourself together first'

Dunno. Not sure anyone's ever had a real (and unrequited) crush on me.

What Eideteker said.

When I was in elementary school there was a girl who was in the neighbourhood who liked me. I didn't really notice. And as far as I did I wasn't interested.
Later during my university days I met her again. And she had a guy with her who looked strikingly like me. 6'6'', high forehead, etc. Very strange.

That anecdote makes me sound rather smug. But I assure you I've had my share of the other side as well.

Yeah Firas, I know what you're saying, but it's kind of in-built in me (I mean really-really hard-wired) so it's kind of difficult to think straight sometimes... and like Miko said--only I can be my saviour... which is again something I always tell myself--but I'm sure if I had just a little help, it would end up going a long way.

But then it seems so unfair to lay all that kind of responsibility on someone else, and yet again, it's so romantic to think that there is this person out there who might have the key that I've been searching for my whole life.

First grade. Thomas. I don't know why I didn't like him, he just kept smiling and sitting next to me. By the time I figured out he liked me, he moved away the next day. I think my sister mentioned he was really cute. He was really cute, thinking back on it. What the hell, I was 5.

If anyone has had a crush on me, and I can't imagine that they have, they haven't mentioned it.

My first crush had NO IDEA. Therefore, not painful at all.

BoringPostcards: My first crush had NO IDEA. Therefore, not painful at all.

For you, or her? Most of the women that I’ve ended up falling in love with, I’d dare not approach, for fear of being rejected… which is exactly what ended up happening anyway, when I did approach them, but my thick skin was able to absorb the impact a little better everytime… I actually fear that it might now be getting so used to it, that it looks forward to a good rebuffing.