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11 May 2012

Gonna be a rough weekend [More:]A few months ago, after enduring almost two years of my wife and daughter pleading for a dog, I cracked under the pressure and we adopted a puppy named Martha. She's sweet, lovable, and smart and, sadly, we've come to the conclusion that we can't keep her.

The biggest fly in the ointment is that our cat, Luke, just isn't going to come-around to accepting Martha. Martha, for her part, sees Luke as a critter to chase, which doesn't endear her to Luke. Be cause of this, I spend my days arranging times when either Luke is locked in a bedroom while Martha is running free, or Martha is leashed to heavy furniture while Luke is running free. Even then, when Martha sees Luke, she absolutely goes nuts and does everything to get at Luke.

We've had Martha in training classes and she's done beautifully. She picked-up on commands quickly and, as long as Luke isn't around, she's great. Once she sees Luke, though, she ignores commands and does everything she can to get to him.

There are some other issues (like howling constantly when out in the yard) that just don't seem to be responding to training. We've discussed things with the trainer, the vet, and others, and it just seems that we aren't the right family for Martha. She needs a cat-free home with a big fenced yard for her to run and play in.

My wife is utterly heartbroken over this. She really fell in-love with Martha and bursts into tears just thinking about having to give her up. But, even she acknowledges that it just isn't a good fit. I just know that, as Monday comes closer (the day we're scheduled to take Martha back to the shelter) I'm going to have a distraught and upset spouse to console.

I'll miss Martha, too. She's a real sweetheart. If only things could have worked out...
I'm really sorry. It sounds as if you've done everything you can to try to make the two pets live happily together, but it's never going to happen. I'm sure that, with the training she's had, and the fact she's so gorgeous, that Martha will soon have a new home.
posted by Senyar 11 May | 12:17
I'm sure that, with the training she's had, and the fact she's so gorgeous, that Martha will soon have a new home.

I really hope so. She's a sweet pup and really deserves a good home.
posted by Thorzdad 11 May | 12:28
Oh, Martha. She's beautiful; she'll find a happy place soon, I'm sure.
posted by Madamina 11 May | 15:20
((hug)) I'm sorry Thorzdad. I went through something similar several years ago from a slightly different perspective, but it sucks no matter what. A former roommate took on a 2nd cat as a rescue, hoping his beloved buddy-cat would adapt to a 2nd cat in the house and they would become pals. Unfortunately the two of them never meshed at all, and #1 Cat developed some pretty bad OCD fur removal habits out of stress from the continual harrassment.

I was the one who had to take #2 Cat to the shelter when all options were exhausted and for #1 Cat's health my roommate decided that enough was enough. To be fair I volunteered to do it, as I saw my roommate was having a terrible time with such a hard decision (and he'd been a shelter volunteer in the past, so, yeah). It sucked, and after I dropped him off I sat in the car and cried for twenty minutes straight before I could pull it together enough to drive home. If only we had had better means between us to try to work out the situation for both cats... but at the time we were both broke and marginally employed, living in a tiny, shitty apartment and the stress of constant cat fights and worry for their health, etc. was just too exhausting.
posted by lonefrontranger 11 May | 15:56
Thanks everyone.
For background, Martha was found, in February, running the fields by the shelter we got her from. They think someone just dumped her there. It took the people at the shelter over a week to coax her into the shelter. She kept running from them until she apparently got cold and hungry enough to give up running. When we got her, she had really bad separation issues from being dumped. She's gotten over it for the most part, though she still doesn't like strangers. I fear taking her back to the shelter is going to set her back.

It's breaking my heart to let her go. But, I think it's for the best.
posted by Thorzdad 11 May | 16:15
That IS rough. It sounds like you're making the right decision, and sadly the right decision is often the one that feels the worst. Good for you for thinking of the animals' welfare first.
posted by BoringPostcards 11 May | 23:54
I wish you and Martha good things.
posted by arse_hat 12 May | 02:16
Gosh, reminds me of when my wife and I first moved in together. We're like the Brady bunch pet family. She had two cats, and I had two dogs. My dogs grew up with a cat that was used to dogs, her cats never had been around dogs. During the first week we had an incident when I wasn't home which ended up with a cat running down the street with two dogs in pursuit. I ended up staying elsewhere with the dogs that night, and I wondered if I would be sleeping at the motel 6 or rotating amongst friends since I had sold my house, and had nowhere else to live. I wondered if it would ever work out. Neither of us were going to give up our pets, nor were we going to give each other up either. Fortunately it eventually worked out. We used one of those child gates to give the cats a room to be theirs, and they had the run of our small house while the dogs slept with us at night, and when the dogs were in the back yard. We eventually graduated to not needing the gate anymore. We're now in a larger house, and while the animals don't pile up into one big happy family, they do tolerate each other, and have found some common ground. Even after two years together, we're still making small advances. It wasn't easy, but worth the effort, but we definitely had a lot of motivation.

All the best to you and the creatures in your life.
posted by eekacat 12 May | 14:09
Took Martha to the shelter this morning. They were all very nice and welcoming. I was a wreck and cried all the way home. Can't help but feel I failed her somehow. Dammit.
posted by Thorzdad 15 May | 10:47
Aw.
posted by jouke 15 May | 12:16
Photo Friday: Empty, emptiness, bleak || Tuneses

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