HEALTH INSURANCE IS RIDICULOUS! THE BUREAUCRACY, OY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA! NO WONDER HEALTH CARE COSTS ARE SO HIGH, THEY GOTTA PAY A TON OF PEOPLE LIKE ME TO SORT IT ALL OUT!

I WANT MORE SNACKS HERE IN MY DESK, I'M HUNGRY! A ROASTED TURKEY WOULD BE NICE. OR A FRENCH FRY MACHINE! DON'T TELL ME THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FRENCH FRY MACHINE, THERE SHOULD BE AND IT SHOULD BE SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT IN MY DESK DRAWER.

SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE

BUT THANK GOD WE DON"T HAVE SOCIALIZED HEALTHCARE LIKE THOSE COMMIEBASTERDCANADIANS, AMIRITE?????!!!!!111

A FRIEND FROM NORWAY WAS IN TOWN THE OTHER NIGHT AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THEIR "SOCIAL MEDICINE" AND I PRETENDED TO FAINT.

WHY CAN'T YOU LIVE THEORETICALLY, LIKE HERMIONE THE HERMIT, ON A FARM WITH A MILLION DOLLARS IN YOUR MATTRESS, JUST PAY CASH FOR WHAT LITTLE YOU DON'T YOURSELF GROW, HARVEST, RAISE, CHURN, SHEAR, KNIT OR SEW.

THAT REALLY REALLY SUCKS BRUJITA! AND FOR SOME REASON PRIVATIZING THINGS IS SUPPOSED TO REDUCE BUREAUCRACY. WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? MY EX-BOYFRIEND HAD SUCH A HORRIBLE TIME OF IT TRYING TO GET MEDICATION FOR HIS ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITIS ON OUR CRAPPY STUDENT INSURANCE -- HE HAD TO GO GET INJECTIONS EVERY TWO WEEKS INSTEAD OF TAKING PILLS (WHICH WERE ACTUALLY CHEAPER) BECAUSE OF A RIDICULOUSLY LOW LIMIT ON MEDICATION SPENDING OR SOME SUCH. WORKING THIS OUT TOOK A YEAR DURING WHICH HE WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN.

MY SHOUTING RIGHT NOW WOULD HAVE TO BE AT HOW ANNOYING IT IS TRYING TO SET UP MATLAB TO RUN IN PARALLEL ON THE UNIVERSITY'S CLUSTER. I'M SO TIRED OF THE BACK AND FORTH EMAILS WITH IT SUPPORT!

AT THE GP'S AND THEY WANTED ME TO FILL OUT THE SAME FORMS I DID THE FIRST TIME I CAME IN WHEN THEY SHOULD STILL FUCKING HAVE THEM IN THEIR FILES!

I WOULDN'T.

AND I WASN'T INVITED TO ANYONE'S SEDER.

I WANT MY OWN CHICKENS. THEY CAN EVEN RAISE DUCKS; THAT'S FINE. CHICKENS! CHICKENS CHICKENS CHICKENS CHICKENS!

I AM ON A DIET AND THE WILLPOWER REQUIRED TO NOT EAT TONS OF FRIED MATZOH IS KILLING ME. I HAD TO STEP AWAY FROM THAT RECIPE THREAD. PROBABLY A GOOD THING I WASN'T INVITED TO ANYONE'S SEDER. I WAS, HOWEVER, INVITED TO AN EASTER DINNER WITH PEOPLE WHO ONLY SERVE CRUNCHY-GRANOLA HEALTH FOOD, WHICH WILL MAKE ME EVEN MORE HUNGRY AND SAD. WHY ISN'T YUMMY FOOD HEALTHY!?

FRENCH FRY MACHINE SMALL ENOUGH FOR A DESK DRAWER. YOU'RE WELCOME!

HURRAY HURRAY FRENCH FRIES FOR EVERYONE

DO YOU KNOW MY BOSS WENT TO MCDONALDS FOR LUNCH AND DARED WALK OVER TO MY DESK WITH HIS FOOD BAG? HE'S LUCKY I DIDN'T SNATCH IT OUT OF HIS HAND LIKE A DOG.

I WILL EAT MY FAVORITE FRIED THING FOR YOU BUT NOT TELL YOU WHAT IT IS SO'S NOT TO DESTROY ZE VILLPOWERS WITH TALES OF MY TASTY THING. ALSO YUMMY FOOD IS HEALTHY, IT JUST TAKES YEARS OF READJUSTING YOUR TASTEBUDS AND MINDSET. I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN KNOWN TO REALLY ACTUALLY HAVE oatmeal (WITH BLUEBERRIES) FOR DESSERT! THE REST OF HER FOODS ARE EQUALLY ABSURDLY IMPRESSIVELY HEALTHY. I STILL WALK IN THOSE BIG OLE' GROCERY STORES AND WINDOW SHOP SOMETIMES BUT IT JUST ISN'T THE SAME ANY MORE.

MY HUSBAND AND I LIKE TO PRETEND WE'RE HEALTHY LOCAVORES BUT REALLY ALL WE EAT IS SOME VARIATION OF CARBS COVERED IN CHEESE.

OUR CHILDREN WILL BE THE SIZE OF DUMP TRUCKS.

WHY ISN'T IT SATURDAY YET

SRSLY, I NEED HUGS

THE LADY WHO SITS CATTY-CORNER TO ME IS ON VACATION, BUT THE LADY WHO SITS IN FRONT OF ME (WHO DIRECTLY WORKS WITH HER) DOESN'T KNOW THAT, BECAUSE APPARENTLY IF SHE KNEW THAT, SHE WOULDN'T COME TO WORK, SO AS FAR AS SHE KNOWS, THE OTHER LADY IS "SICK".

THESE ARE THE CRAZY PEOPLE I WORK WITH.

MY HUSBAND AND I LIKE TO PRETEND WE'RE HEALTHY LOCAVORES BUT REALLY ALL WE EAT IS SOME VARIATION OF CARBS COVERED IN CHEESE.

OUR CHILDREN WILL BE THE SIZE OF DUMP TRUCKS.

GODDAMMIT MADAMINA!!!!! YOU MADE ME SNORT HOT TEA! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HOT TEA HURTS IN THE NASAL CAVITIES?!?! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!

OUR CHILDREN WILL BE THE SIZE OF DUMP TRUCKS.

THAT IS GOING TO HURT!

IT JUST TAKES YEARS OF READJUSTING YOUR TASTEBUDS

NO, IT DOESN'T!! I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE TRYING TO ADJUST TO MY FRIENDS' AND FAMILY'S PREFERENCE FOR HEALTHY SEAWEED HORSEFOOD, AND IT DOES NOT WORK!! I WANT A SAUSAGE EGG McMUFFIN RIGHT NOW!!

I WAS ALSO NOT INVITED TO ANYONE'S SEDER. WTF, ANYONE?

YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO MY SEDER. I'M NOT JEWISH AND I'M NOT ACTUALLY HAVING ONE, BUT IF I WAS AND I WERE, YOU'D ALL BE INVITED.

I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN KNOWN TO REALLY ACTUALLY HAVE oatmeal (WITH BLUEBERRIES) FOR DESSERT!

I JUST DID THAT LAST NIGHT! SO GOOD!

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS "ADJUST YOUR TASTEBUDS" BUSINESS AS A PREREQUISITE FOR ENJOYING HEALTHY FOOD. I HEART OATMEAL, I HEART SALAD, I HEART CAKE WITH ICE CREAM. MY TASTEBUDS ARE UN-ADJUSTED BUT FOOD IS GOOD, YUM.

I WANT MY OWN CHICKENS. THEY CAN EVEN RAISE DUCKS

ALSO I AM KEEN TO HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR DUCK-RAISING CHICKENS.

MY NEW MANAGER-ONCE-REMOVED (I.E., MANAGER'S MANAGER) IS A FREAKIN' DIPWIT. AND THIS NEW PROJECT IS GOING TO BE SUCH A CLUSTERFUCK IF THEY DON'T GET THEIR DAMN HEADS OUT OF THEIR ASSES. AND I HAVE TO GO INTO THE OFFICE TOMORROW TO MEET WITH THE VENDORS I REALLY REALLY DISLIKE. I HOPE MY MANAGER-TWICED-REMOVED (THE DEPARTMENT HEAD) GIVES THEM THE WHAT FOR.

AND SCREW IT ALL. I'M SO GETTING A CINNAMON ROLL AT PANERA TONIGHT.

I MISREAD THAT AS "I'M SO GETTING A CINNAMON ROLL FROM PANDORA TONIGHT," AND I WAS ALL "WHOA, ALL PANDORA GIVES ME IS UNDESIRED COVER SONGS, I'M DOING IT WRONG."

I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A SEDER BUT WOULD LIKE TO GO TO ONE!!! Y'ALL GET ON THAT RIGHT DAMN NOW!!1!

MY SYNAGOGUE ONLY DOES WOMEN'S SEDERS AND HAD THEIRS 3-24 WHEN I WAS OUT OF TOWN.

I MISS MY GRANDFATHER.

WHEN I FINALLY MANAGE TO GET MY PLACE DONE I'LL DEFINITELY HAVE SEDER.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT MY OPTIC NERVES ARE OK, BUT THE NEUROOPTHO WANTS TO CHECK MY CIRCULATION AND GET SOME BLOODWORK.

THE ONLY JEW I KNOW IN THE AREA IS MARRIED TO SOME EX-MORMOMY SOMEONE. I THINK THEY GET CHRISTMAS TREES. I MISS MY JEWS AND JEWISH HOLIDAYS AND DELIS AND BITTER COMEDY.

I NEED TO SLEEP BUT IT IS TOO LIGHT AND MY BRAIN IS STILL ON. I SHOULD JUST FINISH THIS FUCKING PAPER ALREADY AND END THIS POINTLESS DEBAUCHERY. I SHOULD START MY ABSTINENCE AFTER BEES BIRTHDAY, EASTER, BUT WHY WASTE A MONTH OF FREEDOM?
AND YET THIS IS SUCH A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR DEBAUCHERY. I WASN'T BAPTIZED IN THE BROTHELS OF PARIS OR ANYTHING, BUT THIS ISN'T HEDONISM, IT'S JUST POINTLESS SELF INJURY. MAN, MY THUMB CUTICLES ARE SO VERY MUTILATED. THE PLACE IS TRASHED AND THAT NEEDY CAT IS ATTEMPTING TO COAT ALL MY BELONGINGS IN GINGER.

SO MUCH CRAP TO DO AND I'M JUST NOT DOING IT, SCARING THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE, BEING BLATANTLY INAPPROPRIATE AND DISRESPECTFUL, AND YET CONSIDERATE AND CARING WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, SO PEOPLE ARE JUST CORNFUSED. "HEY, YOU SUCK AS A TEACHER. HAVE SOME COFFEE."

I WAS AFRAID I'D EAT YOUR BRAINS
BECAUSE I'M EVIL

THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOING OUT WITH THAT GUY FROM AUSTIN TOMORROW.
IT COULD BE SPRING, IT COULD BE MY MOMENTARY LIBIDINOUSNESS, BUT THERE ARE SUDDENLY CUTE BOYS EVERYWHERE AND I FEEL LIKE SOME CRUISY PREDATOR.
TOO BAD SEX WITH STRANGERS IS JUST NOT MY THING.
I THINK I FELL FOR THAT PENIS, THOUGH. NOT THE BOY, JUST THE PENIS.

KIDNEY DONATION.
EXTENDED SMALL CELL CARCINOMA ONE AND TWO.
COFFEE, BOOZE AND CIGARETTES.
MAKE UP QUIZ.
OTHER QUIZ.
FINALS.
BEVERAGE DESTROYING ASSHOLE NEEDY CAT BEHAVIOR.
GOD, I NEED A PODCAST TO TALK ME TO SLEEP.

Oh, and fuck shitty shitty fuckity fuck.
WHAT IS FUNNIER THAN A SWEARY MINISTER?

I MISREAD THAT AS "I'M SO GETTING A CINNAMON ROLL FROM PANDORA TONIGHT," AND I WAS ALL "WHOA, ALL PANDORA GIVES ME IS UNDESIRED COVER SONGS, I'M DOING IT WRONG."

HA! THAT WOULD TAKE MORE TALENT THAN I'VE EVER SHOWED

MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THE CURRENT STUPIDITY AT THE STATE AGENCY I USED TO WORK WITH. IF WE DIDN'T LAUGH, WE'D CRY. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE RUN PART OF THE STATE IT CRAP. AND YET IT EXPLAINS ALL OF THE ISSUES. 60% OF THEM ARE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY USELESS.

AND ONE OF THOSE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY USELESS PEOPLE JUST GOT A NEW JOB MAKING A SHITLOAD OF MONEY DUE TO A COUNTEROFFER TO A COUNTEROFFER, PROVING YET AGAIN THAT LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

AND GRRRRRRRR. PANERA DID NOT HAVE CINNAMON ROLLS. I HAD TO MAKE DO WITH A FRENCH TOAST BAGEL. I WAS CRUSHED AND MY TASTE BUDS HAZ A SAD :(

HAPPY SHOUTS: FINALLY GOT AROUND TO WATCHING THE SEASON PREMIERE OF GAME OF THRONES. AAAAHHHH, LIKE SETTLING INTO A COMFORTABLE BED.

SEDERS ARE SO COOL. MY FAVORITE PART IS WHERE YOU OPEN THE DOOR FOR ELIJAH I WAS SO WAITING FOR HIM TO COME IN AND HAVE A DRINK WITH US. AND EAT THAT GREAT FOOD. ELIJAH, DROP BY, YOU'RE MISSING SOME GREAT FOOD! SEDERS ROXOR THE SOXORS!

If I were still in SoCal I'd be tripping over people offering a seat at Seder. People of the Jewish persuasion seem to be a bit thin on the ground in BC. Plus I'm losing what Yiddish I knew, dammit.

The chicken raising ducklings was a recent MeCha post.

HUGS SHOULD NOT BE LIMITED TO SATURDAYS.