True tales of email misadventure: So here's an odd story→[More:] I've been emailing this kid who is in my class who was in my class last summer. I thought he was into neuroscience and was hoping to have someone to talk about stuff with. I thought he was young and awkward with possible geeky, smart tendencies. My mom saw him once and thought he was really cute, which hadn't really occurred to me because he looks 12.
So he says all this stuff about liking comedy and being cynical and sarcastic, and we've been emailing regularly. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff and said I was going into superjudgmental mode one night, and ever since then have been writing these extremely satiric, hyperbolic emails, about classmates and professors and what have you, in this middle school mean girl voice, like, "Ohmigod, Natalie is so mean! She is a total bitch to Sarah all the time! She thinks she's so much better than everyone. Whatever" kind of thing.
Turns out he never got that it was a joke.
The reason he was okay with this is he turns out to be really judgmental, which he mentioned once but I thought it was a joke. He doesn't believe in giving the time of day to anyone he doesn't think is attractive and cool, and thinks this is an excellent strategy so far.
At first I was just kind of shocked and questioned him about it. This is when I realized he was serious and had admitted this to me because he had misinterpreted my emails about 100 emails back.
My reaction was to totally judge him for being so judgmental and he did not get that at all.
He's only into cool people, likes to be chill and doesn't believe in emotions.

He is so not cool. I reached out to him because he seemed to need help and be a bit lost. I actually got him a research position. It turns out he is not even a hipster wannabe, but a watered down hipster wannabe. I don't think he even knows what an actual hipster is. He seems to think it has something to do with flannel. When he pointed out the girl he really likes, because she is so sweet and pretty and likes all the right bands, I ask if he would still like her if she shaved her head or gained weight. Of course not, she would have issues and no self respect. When I point out the Jersey Shore quotes and Nicki Minaj on her facebook page, he says I'm being mean.
Then I totally go over the top judgmental on his ass.

Now, I am not cool. I care about things and want to have emotions and do not give a rat's ass about what people think of my clothes. I don't particularly like my clothes. I certainly am not judging other people on their clothes. I was not judging him on his clothes, but I do not think they say what he thinks they say. He has no idea what cool actually is. He's a leg up because he believes in evolution and knows gay people.

What the fuck.
This is the Midwest. Everything is at least 5-8 years behind. I wear clothes from 10 years ago and people think I came from the future. He doesn't want actual cool, he wants the mainstream version of hipster custom made for his demographic.

Crap, he just wrote me back.