roses are red dear
Violets are violet
you I'd sell for beer

Winter will arrive
Each tiny, chilly snowflake
Larger than your brain

(Present company excluded.)

Only Sahara
summers suck donkey gonads
worse than your hate-ku.

Your snow boots smell like
A hobo smeared with roadkill
In a septic tank.

The autumn wind blows
Just like something else I know;
Namely, your mother.

You are so stupid
You fell from the red oak tree
While raking the leaves.

Screaming children flee
As you waddle toward the pool.
Your Speedo breaks laws.

The first lilac blooms
Then sees your hideous face
And dies of pure fright.

These hateku suck so
Li Po himself is spinning
Basho weeps for us.

Summer of the stain
Scorn for all humanity
Winter never comes

Fetid summer wind
Is it from the trash heap? No!
God your cunt just reeks!

Autumn haiku fun
Marred by use of toxic term
Sure went downhill fast.

Mine from last night:

Foppish dandy gent
Had me shaved, got me so drunk
Before warmth of noon

Sitting "around" house
Cracked earth beneath hammer toes
Your fat bitch mama

Willowy wet reeds
Flop like that shit you call hair
Limp-dick prissy-pants.

Morning dew glistens
Tangled tendrils, mossy wet
You should shave your balls

Like rich, loamy soil
Nature's fertilized riches
How your asshole smells

Stop all the poems
No one thinks you're that clever
Clouds have more substance

Time slips slowly by
Ancient redwoods saw you crawl
You are fucking old

Rosy red hilltops
Bursting forth with oily goo
You pizza-faced git

You're a lousy lay
Damp bedsheets from sweaty screw
Salty as sea-foam

View from mountain top?
Or the bottom, looking up
How was your "State School?"

Frosty wintry snow
Not autumn's grassy expanse
Get your teeth whitened.

No grass was greener

than hers, so lushly perfumed

with complete bullshit.

Your mom is so old
OK Cupid matches her
Via carbon dating.