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08 September 2011

Everyone! Let's make Hateku happen A poem containing three lines of of 17 syllables at a pattern of 5, 7 and 5 containing a seasonal reference and a vicious insult
roses are red dear
Violets are violet
you I'd sell for beer
posted by arse_hat 08 September | 22:51
Winter will arrive
Each tiny, chilly snowflake
Larger than your brain

(Present company excluded.)
posted by Kronos_to_Earth 09 September | 00:48
Only Sahara
summers suck donkey gonads
worse than your hate-ku.
posted by Ardiril 09 September | 01:03
Your snow boots smell like
A hobo smeared with roadkill
In a septic tank.

The autumn wind blows
Just like something else I know;
Namely, your mother.

You are so stupid
You fell from the red oak tree
While raking the leaves.

Screaming children flee
As you waddle toward the pool.
Your Speedo breaks laws.

The first lilac blooms
Then sees your hideous face
And dies of pure fright.

These hateku suck so
Li Po himself is spinning
Basho weeps for us.
posted by BitterOldPunk 09 September | 01:37
Summer of the stain
Scorn for all humanity
Winter never comes
posted by Eideteker 09 September | 07:42
Fetid summer wind
Is it from the trash heap? No!
God your cunt just reeks!
posted by plinth 09 September | 08:23
Autumn haiku fun
Marred by use of toxic term
Sure went downhill fast.
posted by Hugh Janus 09 September | 09:31
Mine from last night:

Foppish dandy gent
Had me shaved, got me so drunk
Before warmth of noon

Sitting "around" house
Cracked earth beneath hammer toes
Your fat bitch mama

Willowy wet reeds
Flop like that shit you call hair
Limp-dick prissy-pants.

Morning dew glistens
Tangled tendrils, mossy wet
You should shave your balls

Like rich, loamy soil
Nature's fertilized riches
How your asshole smells

Stop all the poems
No one thinks you're that clever
Clouds have more substance

Time slips slowly by
Ancient redwoods saw you crawl
You are fucking old

Rosy red hilltops
Bursting forth with oily goo
You pizza-faced git

You're a lousy lay
Damp bedsheets from sweaty screw
Salty as sea-foam

View from mountain top?
Or the bottom, looking up
How was your "State School?"

Frosty wintry snow
Not autumn's grassy expanse
Get your teeth whitened.
posted by ColdChef 09 September | 12:32
No grass was greener

than hers, so lushly perfumed

with complete bullshit.
posted by notquitemaryann 09 September | 13:06
Your mom is so old
OK Cupid matches her
Via carbon dating.
posted by BitterOldPunk 09 September | 13:58
Looks like we made it! || Need to clean your car's back windshield?