He's a red-headed internet troll with a complete collection of Weird Al bootlegs, a room full of high-end Apple equipment and Mathowie's celphone number. She's a lesbian librarian with an un-ironic ten-speed bicycle, a perfect attendance record at ComicCon and a pet capybara. Together, they ghost-write books for Republican presidential candidates.

He's a stage hand for the Conan O'Brien show and the only male member of a Roller Derby team. She's a designer for Mattel Toys who has five acres of broccoli growing behind her house. Together, they sell antiques on eBay.

He's a dead ringer for David Duchovny who bags groceries at Trader Joes and posts 30 times a day on Reddit. She's an unemployed aerospace assembly worker with a Realtor's license, a grown son in Israel who isn't Jewish and a mole on her left knee. Together, they go to Disneyland three times a year.

He's a 72-year-old retired Bond Trader with diabetes and a twitch. She's a video game tester having a secret affair with a white NBA player. Together, they've never met.

He's a sword-wielding flyboy hairdresser with a passion for fast cars. She's a disco-crazy antique-collecting hooker with a song in her heart and a spring in her step. They fight crime!

The idea of getting a haircut from a sword-wielding hairdresser... well, let's just say that could be a close shave.

Ah, yes. "He's the Pope; he's a chimp. Together, they solve mysteries!"

This has MadLib potential.

He's an old-fashioned devious waffle chef on the hunt for the last specimen of a great and near-mythical creature. She's a vivacious green-skinned mermaid from a different time and place. They fight crime!

I think I've seen some of these movies.