a 'more inside' please

'more inside' done

I don't know the incident you're referring to, Ardiril, but you've surely built up enough karma points in this place to not piss somebody off with a random comment. My IRL family pisses me off like that all the time and I don't have a problem with them. You fools would have to go a long way to catch up with them.

I'm sorry about your health news. It's no wonder you're feeling snappy. I didnt know that heart failure is also cognitive. I know a couple of people with heart failure, and this is interesting. What will the new doctor bring to the picture? What does your son think?

I, too, apologize if I've pissed anyone off recently. Sorry. I'm getting better.

(Ardiril is golden in my book.)

I haven't been around consistently enough to notice but you have been dealing with a whole hell of a lot for a while.
I apologize for being complainy. I really try not to be but it all comes out in this grr argh shoutiness and pleas for assistance because I don't really want to go into the gory details of my messed up life.
I will probably be shouting later today.

I haven't been around consistently enough to notice but you have been dealing with a whole hell of a lot for a while.

Yeah, this goes for me, too. I've been offline a lot lately, but when I'm catching up here, I haven't noticed anything untoward. But I do hope you're feeling up to snuff soon, and I think everyone here knows that you're under some stress, physical and (probably) emotional.

I took your Twitter twitting in stride, and we both learned something about male feminists, so no harm done, right? :)

I hope you're feeling better today.

Oh no, no specific incidents, or I would address them directly in email. However, I have bad memory rot, and my judgment was always questionable before things got bad. Those two can form a nasty combination.

Oh heck, TL, I knew we were joshing each other from the get go. You've always proven to be a great sport, and you've got a sharp wit when fed the right straight lines.

{{Ardiril}}

Of course, if I intentionally pissed you off, that's another story.

How would we know the difference?

If it was intentional, it was on MeFi, or you are family, or you are my ex.

I must have missed something. That said, you're cool with me.

Hope you feel better soon Adiril. Hugs

I didnt know that heart failure is also cognitive.

Your comment led me to research this deeper, tb. The problem is water and bloating. I could be carrying as much as 40 pounds of excess water on the really bad days; my legs literally leak. Water does not carry oxygen well, and in the blood, excess water displaces oxygen-carrying red cells. The lower density pack of red cells means less oxygen gets to the brain. Coupled with this, my heart's ejection fraction (a measure of pumping efficiency) runs between 12% to 20% (low normal is like 55%).

I have what I call my 'black days', the really bad days that seem darker despite the usual sunshine and I always feel like I am on the verge of passing out. This explains those feelings fairly well. Everything *is* darker and I *am* on the verge of passing out from oxygen deprivation.

The thing is, I have never reported these to my doctors because they seemed so minor compared to everything else. Actually, they are somewhat minor compared to everything else, because everything else is pretty major.

Anyway, I think the time has come for an oxygen tank.

Severe oxygen deprivation, including risk of passing out while crossing the street or going down the stairs or something, is minor??? Okay.....

Yeah, I know, my priorities are a little kooky. "It's a cognitive thing. You wouldn't understand." I am just now *sorting* a lot of things out, because this is a pretty big revelation. Another example, my regular doctor took my complaint of cold feet as an indication of thyroid disease, however my feet only felt cold on black days. So, which is it?

(This is also probably why it is illegal for me to drive in most every state.)
(Also, I have been deep breathing every time I think to do it. Don't know yet if it's really helping.)