"Each time you've been on a watercraft in a natural body of water (i.e., no pools) since January 1, 2011." 3

"Do you compost?" 3

"1 point if you’ve visited a farmers’ market in the past week. Another point if you bought something." 2

"1 point if you are within arm's reach of a book you're currently reading." No, I'm reading on my iphone these days.

"2 points if you've never been out of your country of birth." Thankfully no. I have come to distrust those who don't venture far from home.

"2 points if you've sneezed today." Several times. 2

"3 points if you've read an actual, physical newspaper, on newsprint, in the past 7 days." 3

"1 point if you own no pink clothing. Another point if you don't own a bathing suit." 1 I mean what sort of non desert living freak don't own a bathing suit?

"2 points if you generally eat meat fewer than three times a week. -1 point if you've eaten meat today. (No judgment -- it's Points!)" 0

"2 points if you can quote, from memory, a catchphrase or punchline from the TV show Arrested Development. Type it here. 3 points if you hereby vow to go watch or re-watch Arrested Development (and honestly plan to follow through)." 0

"4 points for retelling a dream you had last night." I don't dream.

"1 point if you cross a bridge during your regular commute. If you work from home and don't commute, 1 free point. If you're currently job-seeking and unemployed, 5 points." 5

"1 point if any part of your body is currently itchy. Bonus point if reading that made something else itch." 1 Bug bites. It was a VERY wet spring and the mosquitoes are crazy.

"Tiebreaker 1: How many types of mustard are in your refrigerator?" 0 We have 5 kinds of mustard in the cupboard. Why would anyone put mustard in the fridge? It isn't needed and cuts the flavour.

"Tiebreaker 2: How many kinds of pickles?" 0 We have Gherkins, Sweet mixed, large Kosher dill, small dill, Bread and butter, and lots of other non cucumber pickled things. Why would you put them in the fridge? Sick sick sick.

So 20 points.

5 - newspaper, no pink, itchy leg
3 mustards; dill pickles, pickled cauliflower, pickled mango

4 points for watercraft.
3 points for composting. I purchase my water out of the tap.
0 points for not visiting a farmers' market, although I drove past one several times.
1 point for the book in my bag.
0 points for forsaking my country of birth.
2 points for sneezing.
0 points for reading paper. Newspapers are only good for starting fires.
1 point for owning no pink clothing. Not since the 80s anyway. I live on the Gold Coast - of course I own a bathing suit.
3 points for meat fewer than three times a week and eating meat today.
0 points for never watching Arrested Development.
0 points for not dreaming last night.
1 point for crossing several bridges every day.
1 point for itchy eyes.
two types of mustard in the fridge.
one type of pickle in the fridge.
16 points in total.

2 points for sneezing
3 points for reading a newspaper
1 for no pink clothing
1 for crossing a bridge
1 for itchy nose

8 points.

2 Sneezed
1 No pink
1 There's always a bridge to cross to get anywhere in Pittsburgh.

4 points, not so hot.

Three points for compost, two for farmers' market, one for book, three for newspaper, two for pink bathing suits, two for meat, five for AD--I've made a huge mistake--one for a bridge. Nineteen. Dammit--how do you induce sneezing?

Tiebreaker: Nine kinds of mustard (I like mustard), two kinds of pickle (i.e., picked cucumber).

watercraft: 3 points

compost: 0, water bottles: 0

farmers market: 1 pt

arm's reach of book: 0

2 points if you've never been out of your country of birth: 0

2 points if you've sneezed today: 2

3 points if you've read an actual, physical newspaper, on newsprint, in the past 7 days: 3

1 point if you own no pink clothing. Another point if you don't own a bathing suit: 0

2 points if you generally eat meat fewer than three times a week. -1 point if you've eaten meat today. (No judgment -- it's Points!): 0

2 points if you can quote, from memory, a catchphrase or punchline from the TV show Arrested Development. Type it here. 3 points if you hereby vow to go watch or re-watch Arrested Development (and honestly plan to follow through).

(oh so many, but..."COME ON!") 2 points.

4 points for retelling a dream you had last night.
Dreamed we invited a bunch of friends and kids around for a sleepover party in our tiny apartment. Insanity. Kids were trying to make smoothies in the blender: 4

1 point if you cross a bridge during your regular commute. If you work from home and don’t commute, 1 free point. If you’re currently job-seeking and unemployed, 5 points: 1

1 point if any part of your body is currently itchy. Bonus point if reading that made something else itch: always itchy. 2 points.

Tiebreaker 1: How many types of mustard are in your refrigerator: 3

Tiebreaker 2: How many kinds of pickles? 1

18 points.

0 for watercraft
0 for composting and 0 for non-refillable bottles
0 for farmers' markets
1 for the ACA books on my desk
0 since I've been out of the US
0 no sneezes today (yet)
0 for actual newspapers
1 for no pink clothing
1 for generally not eating meat, but I did have a wee bit this morning with my noodles+sauce (since the sauce was Prego Italian Sausage and Garlic)
0 for Arrested Development (never seen it)
0 for no dreams last night
1 for the bridge commute (across the Patuxent, it's very pretty)
1 (bonus) since my head itches now

= 5

Tiebreaker 1: 2 types of mustard
Tiebreaker 2: 0 (I hate pickles.)

Boat: 1
Farmer's market: 2
Book: 1
Meat: 2
AD: 3 There's always money in the banana stand. (we started rewatching this month, so I don't think I get the "vow" points)
Dream: 4 It was disturbing, so I'd rather not retell it, but the part that wasn't disturbing involved overflowing toilets at a very large local grocery store. They were overflowing because there were nests of toiletpaper in the bowls.
Bridge: 1 (over one of the harbors)
15 points
Tiebreaker 1: I think it's 6 mustards (yellow, dijon, sweet-hot, horseradish, brown, honey)
Tiebreaker 2: I think it's 4 (cornichon, pickled okra, kosher dills, sweet gherkins)

Paddled out in So Cal last week - 1
Compost pile - 3
No farmer's market - 0
At work, no books I wanna read - 0
Been out of the country - 0
Haven't sneezed - 0
Read the paper - 3
Have a pink shirt - 0
Don't eat that much meat - 2
No meat today yet - 0
Loose Seal - 2
Currently re-watching AD on Netflix - 3
Don't remember any dreams from last night - 0
No bridges crossed - 0
Toes itch - 1
-----------------------
15
Creamy and crunchy Dijon - 2
Pickle Slices - 1
-----------------------
3

12 or 15, depending on whether "going through AD right now" counts as the vow.

Book: 1
Newspaper: 3
Bathing suit: 1. I just got rid of the one I've had for 10 years that has a see-through rear and fits a Madamina of 50 pounds ago.
Arrested Development: 2. I did have to cheat a bit on the wording, but I got the basics. Here's the real quote:
Lucille: "I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore."
Michael: "That udder's been dry for a while, hasn't it?"

(Easy ones: "There's always money in the banana stand!" or "STEVE HOLT!" or "And that's why you always leave a note!")

Vow: I'm actually going through it right now, too. Just finished the one in the first season with the ethics teacher/Annyang.

Dream: 4. It involved watching some sort of TLC-esque reality show. This woman was having trouble breastfeeding or something but the nipples were blurred out. Clearly, I have been watching too much TV.
Itchy: 1. yep. I was dealing all weekend with an allergic reaction, which I believe came from the "sensitive skin" lotion I bought to relieve what I thought was another allergic reaction. The lotion extended it from my face to all the way around my eyes. FABULOUS!

No points for the following:
Boat, which is weird, because I live on an isthmus.

Compost (but my mom is a pro)
Farmers' market -- again, this is shameful, since we live a block from the largest one in the country.


Tiebreakers:
Mustard: I'm guessing French's, dijon, maybe an old thing of horseradish, maybe spicy brown. Koop's ftw!

Oh! Cranberry! But that's unopened right now and thus not in the fridge.

Pickles: maybe two.

Wow. 0 points. I am within arm's reach of a cat, though, so I'll console myself with that. :-)

0 points for watercraft.

0 points for composting? 0 points for water in non-refillable plastic bottles?

0 points for farmers’ market this week.

1 point for arm's reach of a book. (I assume I can only count this once even if several books I'm reading concurrently are within arm's reach.)

0 points: I have been out of the country.

0 points for sneezing, surprisingly enough. (Some allergen has me sneezing MONSTER sneeze the past week, but not yet today.)

0 points for newsprint. (So close 8 days ago!)

1 points: I gave away (what I believe to be) my last article of pink clothing last month. 0 points: I own 2 swimsuits.

2 points: only occasionally eat meat, have not eaten it today.

2 points for something I hear in my head all the time anyhow: "Way to plant, Ann!" 3 points: we own all of "Arrested Development" and will certainly watch it a zillion more times.

0 points: I do not remember any of last night's dreams.

0 points: bridge during your regular commute. I don't exactly "work" from home, but I'm not actively job-seeking these days. So, I guess, no points.

2 points: my nose. 1 bonus point because reading that made something else itch: holy cats, MY NAPE.

Total, as far as I can reckon: 11.

Tiebreaker 1: 6 mustards. I had to go count. Ingelhoffer extra-hot, spicy brown, a different brand of spicy brown, plain ole yellow, jalapeno mango, dijon. (I can't believe The Fella tossed out his vast collection of wasabi mustards, all nearly empty.)

Tiebreaker 2: 1 kind of pickle, if pickled onions count. If not, zero.

Oh, wait, I forgot to count MY NAPE, so 12.

Terrible score.

3 points for the newspaper.

1 point for the bridge.

0 watercraft
0 compost (but Portland is soon starting a city-wide composting program, how awesome is that?)
0 water in non-refillable plastic bottles
1 farmers’ market in the past week
1 bought stuff
0 book's at home
0 country of birth.
0 sneezes
3 newspaper
0 pink
0 bathing suit
2 meat
3 I vow to watch Arrested Development
4 dream (OMG it was SO AWESOME: I dreamed I was Malcolm Reynolds, flying a little ship and rescuing something, shouting funny insulting things at my pursuers, and swearing as I swooped over a cliff with a scarily vertiginous drop-off. Best dream I've had in a long time.)
1 bridge
1 made me scratch my cheek

Total: 16

Tiebreaker 1: One kind of mustard (TheDonF hates it).
Tiebreaker 2: Dill and bread and butter. (This does not count the homemade English pickle/chutney, the homemade rhubarb relish, and the pickling cucumbers I bought at the farmers' market but haven't actually pickled yet.)

Watercraft experiences: 0, oddly. I love boats.
Compost: yup, 3 points. Buy bottled water: 0 as do this rarely
Farmer's market: 2 points.
Within reach of book: 1 point. Bossypants, on my Ipad 2 Kindle app.
Leaving country of birth: 0. Have done this often.
Sneezing: not yet. 0
Reading actual physical newspaper: 3 points. Do this pretty much daily.
Own pink clothing and bathing suits, so 0 points.
Meat: I'm vegetarian, 2 points
Arrested development: 0 points and happy to stay that way.
Retelling a dream: Can't remember any now! 0 points.
Commuting: 1 point. By train or car, always cross at least one bridge.
Itchy: nope. 0 points

Total: 12.

Tiebreaker 1: At least three types of mustard. Maybe more. We likes mustard.
Tiebreaker 2: We have pickled asparagus but I think that's it.

3 - compost
1 - book within arm's reach
3 - physical newspaper (local free weekly)
2 - meat
2 - head and knee are itchy

11 points

Tie breakers - 1 and 1

PS: I have more pink shirts than I care to count and I've never watched Arrested Development.

A trip on the Cross Sound Ferry: 2 points
Compost: 3 points (water from the tap)
Farmer's market: 0 points
Within arm's reach of current book: 0 points (alas, mine is in the other room)
Yes, I have traveled outside my birth country: 0 points
Sneezing: 0 points
Newspaper: 0 points
I have a pink shirt and a bathing suit: 0 points
We are carnivores: 0 points
Being able to quote Arrested Development: 0 points
Vowing to watch Arrested Development in its entirety: 3 points
I never remember my dreams: 0 points
Bridge-crossing: 0 points
My eyes are itchy: 1 point

TOTAL: 9 points

4 kinds of mustard: honey, dijon, stoneground, yellow
2 kinds of pickles: whole dills and sweet relish

1. 0 - No watercraft in 2011
2. 3 - yay for composting. I do not regularly buy bottled water as I have a water bottle.
3. 0 dammit - I worked on Saturday and missed my trip to the farmer's market.
4. 1 - Simon Winchester's Atlantic
5. 0 - I have been out of my birth country.
6. 0 - no sneezing, which is odd given #13
7. 3 - local daily
8. 1 - pink shirt, but no bathing suit
9. 0 - I like meat
10. 0 and 0
11. 0 - No remembered dreams from last night
12. 1; two bridges!
13. 2 - Allergy hives on my forearms, and thanks for reminding me I itch.
Tiebreaker 1: 1 kind of mustard
Tiebreaker 2: 0

12 points

+ 2 (my canoe)
+ 0/-0 (no room, and I don't buy water)
+ 2 (the first one was last Friday! right out behind my workplace. I missed it so. Bought early plums, so sweet and so cold.)
+ 1 (Home and Child Life in Colonial Days)
+ 0 (though not recently enough)
+ 2 (allergeeeeez)
+ 3 (coffee and the Sunday Times is a favorite ritual)
+ 2 (blue, white, brown, black... and no)
+ 0/-1 (half a chicken salad sandwich for dinner)
+ 0 (never watched the show, no plans to watch)
+ 4 (I was some sort of low level human resources twit who was desperately attempting to help Mr. Staircase understand that the other members of his team could not possibly be expected to make up for his lack of progress. I woke up when I realized that no one is named Mr. Staircase.)
+ 1 (I cross this one, and sometimes this one)
+ 2 (the roof of my mouth, among other things; hurray allergies again; now my face itches)
= 18

T1: 3 (yellow, Heinz brown, dijon)
T2: 4 (sweet gherkins, dill spears, bread and butter slices, sweet relish) + 1 if kimchi counts

It appears that box is our winner. Good ol' box!

Can I still do these late?

01. +5 (canoe, water taxi, raft, my dad's boats)
02. +0 I'd like to start composting soon
03. +0 Not in the last week
04. +1 Because my Nook counts
05. +0 But I've only been to two other countries, and never Canada
06. +2 I think I sneeze every day
07. +3 Newspaper at the coffee shop on Sunday
08. +0 Huh
09. +0 I eat meat usually every day, but all I've had today is granola
10. +0 I've seen a few episodes and couldn't stand it
11. +0 I can't remember any of last night's dreams
12. +1 Overpasses totally count as bridges
13. +2 Mosquito bites ALL OVER MY LEsG and they just started itching thanks

TOTAL: 14

TB1 +3
TB2 +2

Dang. If it wern't for you commies putting mustard and pickles in the fridge I'd be tied with box.

3 for composting
3 for newspaper
2 for meat
2 for "Illusion, Michael. Tricks are what whores do for money."
1 for bridge (it ain't much, but it does go over the creek at the end of my street)
1 for mustard (Gulden's Spicy)
3 for pickles: Kosher dills, bread & butter and mild okra pickles.