You know, it's pretty funny. I had a membership at Planet Fitness for a whole year and completely forgot about them until you brought this up.

I went to one in Hartford, CT, and it was just fine. Lots of space and light, reasonably clean bathrooms, not TOO too muscleheady. (Or at the very least, I could hold my own with them.) I don't remember anything particularly horrible or offensive that makes me think, "Oh, I'd never use them again." Just so happens that I live in L.A. now, so.

The Yelp reviews seem to hover around a respectable 3.5 - 4 stars, depending on the location. There's a pretty big folio on them on a web site called Pissed Consumer, but what would you expect with a name like that?

What kind of guidance/support are you looking for? They offer sessions with the staff where they'll show you around the machines, or show you specific exercises for whatever area you're looking to target. It's nothing amazing, but it's included with a $25/month membership, so you're getting what you pay for. I was happy with Planet Fitness when I was unemployed, but found the one in my neighborhood in NYC got way too crowded during working people hours for me to want to go after work. YMMV. I also liked that the high level membership gave me access to any Planet Fitness in the country; there's one around the corner from my parents' house in FL, so I could go there, too (at least in theory; who works out regularly on vacation?)

show you specific exercises for whatever area you're looking to target

This, mostly. I saw the "training" links or whatever it was on their site linked to a PDF form for exercises and reps and all that.
I basically just want to be able to come up with a plan of some exercises to do and then do them.

Though if someone has a solution for my inability to light a fire under my own ass to get out and do them, that'd also be useful. ;)

I'm a member at my local one - expect to get basic "here's how to use the machines and here's a basic set of routines you could do with them" kind of support for free with membership, done by the staff. These are typically in done in waves of classes - 4 or 5 people at once, done at a set time a few times a week. I also feel free to ask a general question here and there - having been there several months I know which of the staff has a training background and which are pretty much at peak capacity when they input your member number to check you in.

Anything like "personal training" where someone spends one on one time with you - you'd have to pay someone for that. Typically some of the staff does personal training on the side, and there will be members there who do it as well. Quality and bedside manner, as with anything else like private lessons, is all over the map, and rates will vary by part of the country, so I don't know how to tell you what to expect. It would be a fair question to ask when you come in to talk about joining, although I wouldn't commit to anything day one. If you haven't been exercising, there's nothing wrong with just getting the basics and just - doing it - for a while.

Thanks for sharing, all!

I have a membership at one and I really enjoy it. It has everything I need in a gym - a place to sweat and weights to lift - and mine has never been too crowded that I couldn't find a machine. Definitely visit it at peak times (5.30, probably). We have a trainer that you can book time with for some one-on-one training, but I've only seen him training older women. That's probably because I'm there first thing in the morning.