OMG CRAP FORGOT TO LINK TO PICTURE OF BABY GIRL

Kitty!

Wondering how people with taper candles keep the holders from getting waxy.

Thinking about my divination project and how I want to format the presentation and the readings.

Worrying about the instruction session at NARA (that I'm attending for a school assignment) and my dermatologist appointment to get this thing on my finger dealt with on Tuesday.

Wishing I knew where the hell my stipend money has run off to.

Trying to decide about buying another iTrip and printer cartridge and how long I can possibly postpone those purchases.

Being frustrated about my sleeping habits being completely fucked.

OK she is a beautiful gorgeous kitty!

My dwell list:

As always, worrying about my kid's health issues. That is a constant and a given and a little black cloud that follows me everywhere.

Obsessively searching for houses on Trulia and the local real estate website. Something needs to fall into place before we can buy but once it does, we'll want to buy right away. So there are a couple of great houses available now that might not be there in about 6 weeks when we're ready. Still I keep checking to see the new listings and whether any of my favorites have gone from "active" to "contingent".

Juggling a couple of projects at work .. I like all of them right now so that's good.

Trying to recover from some minor surgery and finding it a lot more difficult to bounce back than I expected.

Mostly concentrating on enjoying everything summer - still light at 9pm, summer fruit, swimming, BBQ's, playgrounds, bubbles and sidewalk chalk.

Life after the kids move out at the end of July.
How to get my Magic:The Gathering game skills to the next level.
100 sativa? Or a sativa/indica hybrid?
2 cups of coffee per day? Or stay at 1?

What new bookcases should I buy? My current pair look nice but will not survive when I move in one month. But they need to be portable, because I expect to be moving again in a couple of years.

A desk for the new, bigger apartment. Again, what kind?

Will I get to travel at all this summer?

What I am dwelling on:

- the home-buying saga that has spun out for about 8 months now. tentative -- tentative -- signs that we will be able to move in about a month, but I don't believe them

- my daughter's resistance to potty training not SUPER bent out of shape about it - she's three in a few months - but she KNOWS when she has to go, she just won't. argh.

- trying to get back to NZ in January and my husband's unwillingness to buy tickets this far out. The prices will NOT come down -- it's summer there. I don't know why he doesn't believe that.

I try not to dwell upon my constant dwelling upon things.

Dwell list... Perhaps if I write it here, it'll take up less space in my head.

1. Need to lose 4kg before I'm light enough to qualify for free IVF on the NHS. Trying not to feel resentful about that, and just get on with it. Never expected that having kids would be this problematic.

2. My mother thinks I need a vacation. As she's one of the least neurotic, most level-headed people I know, I perhaps ought to take this seriously.

3. Will I ever get round to decluttering? I think we could lose 30% of the stuff in this house and not notice at all.

4. Want to hire a cleaner (preferably a self-employed individual rather than a maid service/agency). Want to get house adequately clean first. May be setting myself up for failure here.

No idea how that double happened!

I wouldn't dwell on it, altolinguistic.

- So sleepy. Need a nap. But if I take a nap, sleeping tonight will be difficult. Just like it was last night leaving me to want a nap today.
- Family reunion is at the end of July and already feeling anxious about it. Not sure if I'll go. I'll feel like a shit if I don't go. But going will be so stressful.
- Hands and feet hurt. Stupid neuropathy.
- The mister's heart issues seem to be not an issue at the moment. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
- Mum's mental and physical health decline are worrisome. She'd do better if I visited more often, but my own health doesn't allow for that.
- So sleepy. Need a nap...

What dish and requisite shopping for a vegetarian summer meal that will be nice reheated every other night this week. And what veggies to pick up to go with my broiled fish nights. I love dwelling on food.

Which magazine to dive into next on my Ipad2. I keep circling back to the New Yorkers, because of incredibly cool things like authors reading their own stories and all the truly excellent poetry.

What to do for the 4th, both to have fun and to keep my Aussie from going bats with all the idiots lighting off fireworks.

Which race to sign up for next, now that the 2011 Seattle half marathon is run. And what training for it. And using up my coupon for trying hot yoga before it expires. These all seem to be linked dwelling topics for me.

Work.

My dwell list:
Filling my time. I'm not working and am going slowly crazy. I'm quite concerned about it, because I'm falling into behavior that manifests itself when I'm depressed. I'm gaining weight, eating a lot, not exercising, and feeling like I'm unable to do anything about anything.

Getting a job. Like I said, I'm not working, which means I am looking for work. I had a few good leads, including interviews, but nothing has panned out yet. I keep hoping. I'm not ready to take just anything yet, so I'm holding out for a good job. Not that anyone has offered me a bad one, even.

The final clock for the overseas move is ticking down fast. Getting the four cats through the paperwork-and-veterinary wringer has really been something. Now, of course, I'm worried that some stupid unanticipated problem will scuttle the whole thing. Or maybe it'll be shipping the car. Or our visas won't arrive in time. Or I'll lose one of my kids at Heathrow, or we won't find temporary housing that takes animals. Or or or.

Bleah.