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22 June 2011

should I stay or should I go? [More:]if I stay will it be trouble, if I go it might be double, and I am getting so depressed trying to make this stupid decision.
My kitty cat is 18, skinny and has a bad sinus infection. She mostly rests, sleeps and sneezes. Vet says watch and wait. Her blood work is excellent, and she is eating and drinking.

I was going to join my family in FL for 4 nights. My parents are coming back on Sunday, so my cat would only be alone 3 nights. Someone we trust will stop by twice a day to feed her.

I feel depressed at the thought of staying home, but I'm not sure I'd enjoy myself properly if I went, plus I might come back to a sicker,depressed, anxious cat. Or even a dead one.

Yet I feel like a putz for not going. I've never been, and it sounds great, and the family thinks I should go.
Humans trump cats, I think you should go.

Presumably you've got a mobile, your friend can probably ring you if there are cat issues, maybe even take her to the vet if necessary.
posted by TheophileEscargot 22 June | 12:28
Me, I'd stay. Because the time your cat has left sounds lmited, while you should be able to see your family again.
posted by bearwife 22 June | 12:35
I'd say go. If I'd stayed home just because my old cat was 18, I'd have not gone anywhere for two years because he lived until he was 20.

Eating and drinking means your cat is doing fine, despite the sinus infection. Make sure your phone is charged up and that the cat carer and the vet both have your number.

When you get home, the cat'll lift her head, look at you and go right back to sleep again.
posted by Senyar 22 June | 12:47
I'd say go, and let your vet know that you're going so they could be prepared for a visit by your friend instead of you.
posted by youngergirl44 22 June | 13:08
When I used to go away leaving Ricky, I left a letter of authority for my friend in case he was sick. She was an experienced cat owner, so I was confident leaving any decisions about his care to her.
posted by Senyar 22 June | 13:26
Aw, serena, I'm sorry. Speaking as someone who has worked at a vet - sometimes older pets do go when their humans are away. I think kitty getting to stay in her own home hugely decreases the odds of her making that decision.

I think you should go, but have clear instructions for the carer and the vet in case kitty goes into a crisis. Maybe leave your credit card with the vet in case the carer needs to take her in?

And if you go, and if she goes while you are away, think of it as her sparing you, not punishing you. You guys love each other.

Ok, reading this, now you are totally never going to go, but honestly, I think you should. It is a heavy decision, and I respect the weight you are giving to it.
posted by rainbaby 22 June | 13:29
(((serena and kitty)))

I hope I never have to make that decision. /not helpful
posted by deborah 22 June | 15:32
Right now, if I go anywhere, it'll have to be long trips to make them more comfortable--more than a weekend, really. So I'm not going anywhere, because I worry about leaving my old senile dog without me for that long. Among other things, she gets physically sick when stressed, and she gets stressed when I go out of town.

As a result, I'm feeling really guilty about not seeing *people* who we may lose pretty soon. And it's really hard to balance these: the dog, who I know I will lose unreasonably soon, and who really really needs me, and who loves me the way only a pet can...vs the humans, who could use the support and love of a visit, and to whom it would have real conscious meaning, and, frankly, I may lose the opportunity to ever see them again soon.

And of course I feel further guilty that anyone we do see ends up coming to see us, so the travel and cost burden is always on them.

Very, very infrequently, we go out of town for a weekend for things that can't be postponed (weddings, etc). We have someone we really trust who can watch the dogs for a couple of days if we need it. Two days might be the limit, though, and I'd be nervous about even three.

I'm trying to say that I sympathize with your decision. It's a hard one. I may be making the wrong decision myself. I wish I knew. I'm putting any life outside of this region on hold and that's not really fair to people outside the region, or to people who might like to go places with me.
posted by galadriel 22 June | 19:51
I hate hate hate when this type of thing happens. My bunny is pretty delicate and gets dangerously sick about once a year. It's always exacerbated by me going away, so I never want to leave him, especially when his stomach is already a little shaky.
But I do.
And he is fine, and I think it sounds like your cat will be fine if you go on this trip.
Having someone stop by twice per day is great and that person will definitely notice if something takes a turn for the worse.
If you go, which I think you should, you will be a little nervous, but getting updates from the caretaker will make you feel better.
posted by rmless2 22 June | 19:56
Thanks everybody. I decided to go.
posted by serena 22 June | 22:36
Have a wonderful time! Fingers crossed all goes well for you and precious kitty.
posted by galadriel 23 June | 11:38
Ditto. And don't worry now that you've made your decision. Just have fun and know your kitty is in good hands.
posted by bearwife 23 June | 12:07
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