I think it would be much funnier if you just did it randomly.

"The number of new employees in our company is about to increase."

"That's what she said. "

The random approach also works for adding the phrase "in accordance with the prophecy." to responses, work status updates, etc.

I agree with deadcowdan. Random is good.

In my office we like to attach "the actress said to the bishop" to sentences. Sometimes the other way around.

It is seriously heartening to me to see careful thought applied to the problem, but then I was seriously contemplating the related idea of building a "your MOM [subclause of preceding statement]" bot to selectively respond to internet chatter thus. So I may be an odd man out on this.

I assume that because the question does not directly define when it is appropriate to give this response, I, as the hypothetical programmer, am allowed to specify my own appropriateness criteria.

Therefore I propose the following algorithm:

bool isTwssAppropriate(std::string &sentence)
{
return false;
}

You should see the random number generator I wrote.