Can we do another fake AskMe thread? Pleeeease? [special snowflake details inside] →[More:]

Dear AskMeFi,

So, after a long relationship, I feel like I've been through some trauma. I have been out of the game so long, I no longer remember how to date. Sure, I've tried all the normal things: bars, internet meetups, and even church groups. But it all comes down to the same thing: I don't know how to approach women. Even with online dating; it never seems to go anywhere. I'd hoped by this point in my life, I would finally have figured, well, not everything, but things out.

It used to be that I didn't know what I wanted. I was chasing everything and anything and throwing myself into situations that couldn't possibly be safe or advisable for anyone to ever undergo. And it was through one of these situations that I met my ex (let's call her Catherine). We were together for six years, and during that time, I learned a lot about myself, and my wants and needs and expectations from a woman. But more than that; I've reached my inner feminist and I feel like I really understand what women need, and what I can give to them. As a sensative individual, I know that it's no longer all about me.

But at the same time, my former relationship taught me that I must stand up for myself at times, and look out for my own interests because no one else will. I've definitely been taken advantage of a lot in previous situations—not just relationships—because of my willingness to please others. It's almost as if it's a need in itself. There has to be some middle grounds, but God forgive me as I can't seem to find it. But I'm getting better at identifying what I need and want but not how to get it. It seems like there's alwas something that's just out of reach. Time and time again, I've been tried, but I keep striving. I think it's important not to give up.

So now I'm at this point in my life where I know what I want but I can't get it. Or maybe I just don't know how. So now I've come to you for help, because I'm trying to understand just this one thing. How does one "hit it and quit it"?

[pages of rantings clipped due to the MetaChat character limit as well as my patience]