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I just got a traffic ticket while test-driving a high velocity jet car on behalf of the Banzai Institute. The cop who pulled me over alleges that I ran a red light; however, because of the Doppler shift, every signal I saw on the drive was green. Can I legally contest the ticket, as the laws of physics caused me to see an incorrect signal?
I'm looking to meet computers nerds through a community based internet website. I'm 19, 5'11", 36DDD, long blonde hair and blue eyes. Where should I look? My e-mail is kristy56343@hotmail.com. Thanx byee!!! :-D
Does anyone have experience of maritime carpentry? I just bought a used Russian submarine, and I'm trying to renovate it to be less Cold War and more homely.
Specifically, I'd like to fit a screen door. Any ideas as to how?
I'm looking to meet computers nerds through a community based internet website. I'm 19, 5'11", 36DDD, long blonde hair and blue eyes. Where should I look? My e-mail is matt@haughey.com. Thanx byee!!! :-D
Is it just me, or are the designers at Microsoft stupid? It seems really counter-intuitive that the only way to turn off my PC is by clicking the button marked "Start".
Can I rollerskate in a buffalo herd? Can I take a shower in a parakeet cage? Can I go a-swimming in a baseball pool? Can I change film with a kid on my back? And most importantly, can I drive around with a tiger in my car?
My diet consists of burgers, donuts and DQ Blizzards. The only exercise I get is playing WoW and chewing food. How do I lose weight and get fit without changing any aspect of my lifestyle?
Someone in Nigeria wants me to help them get money out of the country. This time it really doesn't sound like a scam. Was I wrong to send them my bank account number?
Should I act on information I received on my answering machine? The guy got the wrong number and left a stock tip regarding an unobtanium mining company, and I'm wondering if I should take advantage of his mistake.
I want to do something that I know is wrong but I'm looking for someone to tell me that it's okay so I can do it and blame that person instead of myself when it doesn't go as expected.
Should I start wearing a fedora all the time? Are lambchops really back, or is my wife crazy? Why is polyester considered a "cheap" material when it's so comfortable?
I saw this television show one time about this guy who gives this thing to a girl. What show was that? Also, I may be slightly incorrect on the details.
I have half an onion, two lemons, a quarter pound of ground groundhog, 6 cloves and 3 cups of sugar. What can I make for dinner? I don't have a stove or a microwave, only an iron.
I've been coughing up blood and my diarrhea is bright green. It started after I fell from my third floor balcony. I drank some Windex because I thought it might make me feel better (it's such a pretty blue!). This has been going on for four days and my skin has turned a funny colour. What should I do?
I am on death row and will be executed by lethal injection tomorrow. Do you have any suggestions for a last meal that will help me avoid an upset stomach?
I was sitting on a park bench next to this woman who was listening to music on her headphones and it was broadcasting out loud through her fillings. We are now dating and I would like suggestions for a mix CD of songs about teeth.
I love crystal meth. It's not a problem for me, I'm always super productive when I do it (you should see how shiny my toaster is!). My question is: my 16 year-old daughter has her finals coming up, and unfortunately she has waited until the last minute to study, so she needs to do a couple of all-nighters. She's on the verge on failing most of her classes, and has mentioned dropping out and following in her mothers' footsteps and becoming a dancer. I'm trying to be a good mother so she doesn't have to go through that like I did. I've talked her out of it so far, agreeing that yeah, the money's great and you get lots of attention, but that it's important to stay in school so she can meet boys and go to the prom and the reunions in her future. This is make or break for her. So my question is should I give her a couple of nights worth of crystal meth just this once so she can get through this one rough period? I really appreciate this you guys.
I will be going to India within the nearest future, and I would like to find a Hindu woman for marriage / children / life together / etc.
She needs to be intelligent, speak some English, beautiful, young. I don't require a dowry and class is a non-issue.
How does a white 37 year old white man make this happen? Personal anecdotes, advice, warnings, all appreciated.
Ok, so I am big on Hindus. If you got a problem with that, well, my apologies. Creepy or not, I want to get it on with a Hindu girl and make little Hindu / Euro babies... answers as to how to make this happen most appreciated.
I'm a transexual Hindu woman. I recently married a 37 year old white man I met through the internet.
I originally married him just to get a green card so I can have access to better hormone treatment and surgeons (he's got a kickass insurance plan!), but now I think I really love him. Should I tell him my secret?
Who did that song about the eagle? It came out maybe five years ago. Maybe twelve. The cover of the record was green, although it might have been yellow and about a badger instead. You know the one I mean?