MetaChat - Sometimes I find facebook profoundly depressing

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28 February 2011

Sometimes I find facebook profoundly depressing →[More:]

All those people with their 2000 friends and as many photos of them adventuring in Antigua with said friends. And either I don't post and feel kind of bored and lonely, or I do post and feel like an attention whore.

Yet, I keep coming back for more.

post by: serazin at: 00:05 | 23 comments

Forget about those people with 2,000 friends - they are the ones with no real friends. They're just people who collect 'Facebook friends' to make themselves feel popular. It's the 21st century version of a pissing contest.

posted by dg 28 February | 00:26

There's an article about that. How FB depresses some people. Maybe someone else can find it; I can't remember where it was.

posted by amro 28 February | 00:29

Nobody has 2000 friends. They may have 2000 Facebook contacts but nobody has 2000 friends.

posted by octothorpe 28 February | 00:34

I think this is the article.

posted by amro 28 February | 00:46

Yet, they are pictured in several dozen photos embracing each of those "friends" while receiving an artistic haircut/attending a concert or protest/traveling in Latin America/getting drunk/or otherwise being amusing!

I would like to read that article about my kin who are similarly depressed by facebook. Maybe it will advise me on how to stop tormenting myself with it!

posted by serazin 28 February | 00:48

Oh, thanks for linking it amro. That all makes sense.

It's funny, I am both bothered by the happy/successful posts, and the people who never post - because I assume those people are doing more important things with their lives than I am (instead of wasting time on facebook!) The rare people who post a lot of downer stuff are also kind of hard to deal with because they clearly need some bigger help than facebook.

Jesus I'm negative tonight. Surely all will be better after my period.

posted by serazin 28 February | 00:53

yeah almost everyone has certain pangs of I don't know, insecurity, envy sometimes when they look on facebook. I stopped it a while ago.. I've phrased this a couple different ways over time but basically it boils down to the old trite things ('don't compare yourself to anyone else' so I don't know what to say. But basically, if someone's doing something and you wish you were doing it too, then give yourself time to get there. It'll be just as real for you as it is for them. And if it never comes about then it never was what made sense for you in a specific time period.

posted by Firas 28 February | 01:28

Also: The more Facebook friends people have , the more likely they are to feel stressed out by the site.

posted by TheophileEscargot 28 February | 01:59

I cut everybody out of my newsfeed except for a handful of people I really care about, and one or two people that I don't actually know well, but who post things that are inspiring instead of annoying/depressing. Actually, I started out by cutting everyone out of my news feed -- aaahhhh, that felt good -- and then carefully putting a few back in. This makes facebook usable for me, and much less depressing.

posted by JanetLand 28 February | 05:43

I SO totally just unfriended all of you. From the airport!

posted by Lipstick Thespian 28 February | 08:13

I've done the same thing as JanetLand, but I still have an unrational rush of sadness whenever I see things like baby announcements or engagement announcements.

I probably need to work on that.

posted by punchtothehead 28 February | 08:25

That article was totally right on.

I applaud you folks' facebook sanity strategies. I may do something along those lines.

posted by serazin 28 February | 09:30

I cut everybody out of my newsfeed except for a handful of people I really care about, and one or two people that I don't actually know well, but who post things that are inspiring instead of annoying/depressing.

Same here! Totally makes a difference. And if I'm thinking of someone particular I want to see, I can just go to their page.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 28 February | 09:45

I have in rational rush of schadenfreude whenever I see things like baby announcements or engagements but maybe I'm just a cynical old bastard.

posted by octothorpe 28 February | 10:30

I SO totally just unfriended all of you. From the airport!

Lipstick Thespian, I noticed in my phone underwater! Almost made me unhappy for a second but then I got out of the reef ate some shrimp and snorted a line off my heavily-photographed-and-posted-to-facebook-ladyfriend

posted by Firas 28 February | 14:00

I know only one person who was (sort of) friends with everyone on his Facebook page. The guy was a ball of energy, always upbeat, and fond of hugs. In college, he had a huge list of FB friends, and he'd send happy birthday greetings to every one of them (thanks to the FB reminders), but he'd also greet everyone on campus.

But he is the exception. I imagine people collect friends through various social functions, never pruning their list down as they don't talk to people over the years.

Though I have a few old friends who live that sort of lifestyle. I don't know their "friend" count, but their life looks much more glamorous and/or lively than mine. But I have my own joys, and remind myself to embrace that.

posted by filthy light thief 28 February | 17:59

Keep in mind that the things you see on FB are only the things people WANT you to see. I could take a picture of Bigfoot eating dodo eggs with Elvis in my living room, but I wouldn't post it if the picture made my house look messy. It's all spin.

posted by jrossi4r 28 February | 19:08

There's an article about that. How FB depresses some people. Maybe someone else can find it; I can't remember where it was.

Here's the article:

By helping other people look happy, Facebook is making us sad.

posted by jason's_planet 28 February | 20:56

I'm down to about 60 friends (and about 10 of those need to go, boring!)... And, I enjoy that level of communication....

I do not believe any of you are on my wall, I'll take applications...

posted by HuronBob 28 February | 22:02

60 friends, lose 10. That's almost like Path.

posted by nrobertson 01 March | 01:12

I'm a FaceBook ignoramus. How do you remove friends from your newsfeed? I'd love to be able to do this without actually de-friending someone.

posted by marsha56 01 March | 13:35

When reading your newsfeed, move the cursor over to the right of the post you don't want. An "X" will appear. Click it, and you'll get the option of just hiding that particular post, or hiding all posts by the person.

posted by JanetLand 01 March | 13:52

Wow, thanks Janet! Wish I'd known this a long time ago.

posted by marsha56 01 March | 14:09

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