Ask Mecha: How Do I Shake This Guy?
I do not want to be his friend but he will not leave me alone. Help. →
So in early December I met this guy, we shall call him Dick. He is the lifelong friend of a friend of mine, not a super close friend but someone I've known for some years. Mutual friend kind of set us up on Facebook, saying, oh he has just moved to your neighborhood, you will like him, etc. He seemed interesting enough and therefore when he called to ask me out I said, well, hey, I am meeting a group of people at the local bar, have you been there yet, do you want to come & hang out with us? And he says yes and so we meet at the bar and then we all went on to a big party and by the end of the evening I was all like, EWWW. I do not like this guy. I drop him off at his house - and he does indeed live like 5 blocks from me and he doesn't have a car (I suspect that my car owningness is the real reason he likes me) - thinking, okay, forget that.
So he facebook messages me and I do not answer. Then he starts on the angry facebook messages and the phone messages that are like, "hey call me back! Feel free! What the hell!" which is a bit over the top but in the interests of keeping the peace with mutual friend and thinking perhaps I had been too harsh, I think okay, I will go out with him one more time. So we arrange to all meet up: mutual friend, his wife, my other friend and Dick. This is in mid December. During that evening I realize that no, actually, I don't like this guy and frankly he doesn't even seem that crazy about me, so whatever. I tell him look, my life is insane right now (which is true) and that I am not in a position to date right now (which is also mostly true) and I am not interested in going out at this point (and that is true too.) He seems to get it and says he's going home to DC for the holidays and I think, good, stay there.
No. He came back and he's been calling me every two or three days. I have not been answering his calls or returning them. I only listened to one of his messages and it was him saying he was playing at an open mike that night and he would love it if I could come down. Yeah, well, no. I think to myself, dude, you want a ride home is what you want (there is no public transportation after 9:00 pm in Asheville NC and precious little before then.) So I didn't call him back because a) I'm not interested and b) it was a time specific message and the time had passed. But then two days later he called again. And then again. And just now again.
He won't. Go. Away. I'm sorry, if somebody doesn't answer your calls or call you back or reply to your facebook messages wouldn't you get the hint that they're just not interested? What do I have to do here? I don't like confrontation. I don't want to have to say "I don't like you and I don't want to hang out with you." It's complicated by mutual friend, too, whose feelings I don't want to hurt. I told mutual friend's wife that I was not romantically interested in Dick, thinking she would perhaps pass that along, but the truth is I'm not even nonromantically interested in Dick. I would like to keep him on the casual acquaintance level which is to say, somebody I run into every six months or so and we say hello, how're you and that's that. How do I get this message across?