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23 September 2010

Time to start planning your sexy Halloween strategy! Because Halloween isn't about creativity anymore if you're of the female persuasion - unless you're looking for some seriously creative stretches in sexy costuming, such as Sexy Elmo, Sexy Ghostbuster, or Sexy Chucky Doll.
Oh, and at the bottom of the post I linked to, she's got a link to the Sexy Optimus Prime costume.
Really, I have no words.
posted by flex 23 September | 09:51
10 bucks says they don't make that Avatar costume in my (not Jabba-esque) size.

20 bucks says that there's a Tron Guy equivalent out there who will wear it anyway.
posted by Madamina 23 September | 10:12
Gaaaaah! The strawberry shortcake thing just makes my brain hurt. Why does that seem like a good idea? Who looks at that and thinks "yeah! I'll pay money for to dress up like slutty Strawberry Shortcake"??? Who?

That said, I love Halloween. I've given up trying to be 'sexy' in it, which definitely helps. I'm going to be a mad scientist this year, and it will be fabulous, dammit, even without massive amounts of cleavage or short skirts. I will have license to cackle madly - what more can I ask for when I might randomly be confronted with Sexy Leonardo Hottie in a Half-Shell?
posted by lriG.rorriM 23 September | 10:39
I'm planning on doing a variation of this (mostly just a flight attendant costume from Torrid with a nametag that says Britney on it) because it will be hilarious since I'm a fatass.

(Of course, this is provided that I actually go out this year, which I haven't in the past 2 that I've had the costume.)
posted by sperose 23 September | 10:40
I'm going as sexy Indira Gandhi. I shortened the hem of the clothes and will show plenty of cleavage. Last year I went as Sexy Mother Theresa. I shortened the hem of the dress and showed plenty of cleavage. The year before that I was sexy Bea Arthur. I shortened the hem of the dress and showed plenty of cleavage. The year before that I was sexy R2D2. I shortened the hem of the dressand showed plenty of cleavage. The year before that I was a sexy Klein Bottle. I shortened the hem of the dress and showed plenty of cleavage. The year before that I was a sexy paramecium. I shortened the hem of the dress and showed plenty of cleavage. The year before that I was a sexy DNA strand. I shortened the hem of the dress and showed plenty of cleavage.
posted by iconomy 23 September | 10:49
My eyes and my brain hurt. I always want to dress up, but this kinda thing always turns me off the the whole idea.

Iconomy, don't forget the thigh-high boots this year!! It's a key component of sexy Indira Gandhi.
posted by thankyouforyourconsideration 23 September | 11:02
It's comments like ico's that make me wish we had favourites. But, we do not, so iconomy, I SALUTE YOU.
posted by richat 23 September | 11:09
Strawberry Shortcake Adult Costume: "Berry sexy." YOU. IN THE PUN OF SHAME CORNER. RIGHT NOW.


I agree with this blogger — the whole "sexing up every last costume for women" is really tiresome.
posted by Orange Swan 23 September | 11:16
I think the only 'sexy' costume I've ever worn was the year the BF and I went as Hugh Hefner and a Playboy Bunny. And I only did that because I wanted to wear matching costumes and telling him he could wear a robe and slippers as Hugh was the only way to get him to agree.

A couple of years ago I went as a saguaro cactus. Not sexy at all.
posted by youngergirl44 23 September | 11:17
Last year:
Me: "Okay, I need a costume that includes my glasses."
Friend: "Three words: Sexy Ben Franklin."
posted by Madamina 23 September | 11:21
Ok, ladies. Here's what I need you to do: Feel really repressed and unsexy all year long, and then one night a year, get dressed up really slutty and go out in public. Because there's only prim & proper, and slutty. "Sexy" is bad and wrong, and it requires showing lots of skin and curves and has nothing to do with an attitude or sense of humor or the smolder of a gaze or anything like that.
posted by Eideteker 23 September | 11:52
I must be burnt out on Halloween, because usually I have an idea for a costume almost a year in advance, but this year? Meh. I got nothing, and no desire to change that. if it comes to me, OK, but I'm not pursuing.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 23 September | 12:14
Sexy Big Bird.

Something is deeply wrong in our society.
posted by Elsa 23 September | 12:20
posted by Madamina 23 September | 12:27

A) No, I'm lying about that. B) GAH!
posted by Elsa 23 September | 12:43
I'm totally going to rip off your Ben Franklin idea someday, minus the sexy (though, um, Ben Franklin actually must've been decently sexy to get all that hot historical action, right?). It's the rare costume idea that is weather-appropriate and works with my glasses and my gray bob.

... except... I have a rule that Halloween costumes MUST BE SCARY, because that's the origin of the ritual: to disguise oneself as a scary creature and thus avoid their wrath.

So. Zombie Ben Franklin it is. "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy and wealthy and BRAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINS."
posted by Elsa 23 September | 12:50
Elsa, you could be electrocuted Ben Franklin! That could be scary!
posted by rainbaby 23 September | 12:52
I will confess that I have dreamed of going as a sexy St. Paulie Girl type. It's just a fantasy. I wanted to sew the costume. There are lots of cute patterns out there.

Even if I wanted to, my sexy costume years or over. The last time I dressed up for a party was a few years ago. I was the Queen of Hearts. It wasn't sexy. I bought it from the Disney Store and it stunk to high heaven of synthetic polyester and I don't know what.

Mostly I think Halloween costumes should be scary or slightly creepy. I like the classics -- vampire, skeleton, witch, Frankenstein, etc.

I'm begging my kids to be a vampire, The Joker, or some other scary guy and they aren't going for it. One wants to be Luke Skywalker and the other hasn't decided.
posted by LoriFLA 23 September | 12:52
Elsa, you could be electrocuted Ben Franklin! That could be scary!



posted by Elsa 23 September | 13:00
How about combining the two: sexy Ben Franklin and electrocuted Ben Franklin? Sex-lectrocuted Ben Franklin!
posted by Elsa 23 September | 13:01
I'm totally turned off by prepackaged, "we did all of your thinking for you" costumes, especially for adults.

LoriFla, you should totally sew that and just wear it around the house. And take pics.

Please be sexy zombie electrocuted Ben Franklin, Elsa. And take pics.
posted by iconomy 23 September | 13:03
We're spending Halloween at Disneyworld. As someone who usually doesn't dress up, I AM TERRIFIED.
posted by desjardins 23 September | 13:06
Pretty please Elsa, it is your calling and duty.
posted by rainbaby 23 September | 13:06
Must. Find. Pantaloons.

I was so happy last year: at the very last minute, I made myself some gorgeous little horns out of plastic clay, pearlescent paint, and elastic beadind cord. They poke up so handsomely and discreetly through my gray curls. Last year, I was The Actual Devil, with a tail and bloodtipped nails and a contract you can sign, but those horns solve my costume problem FOREVER: whatever I wear, I'm Wicked Elsa.

But if it's my duty to be zombie sexlectrocuted Ben Franklin, I might have to suck it up and do it.
posted by Elsa 23 September | 13:19
I will confess that I have dreamed of going as a sexy St. Paulie Girl type. It's just a fantasy. I wanted to sew the costume. There are lots of cute patterns out there.

Oooooooh, yes, I can absolutely see the appeal of this. I would like a barmaid-in-corset costume just to wear around the house. Let's start a barmaid-in-corset club and wear our outfits out for a cocktails or coffee or to the grocery store.
posted by Elsa 23 September | 13:36
Elsa, if you can't find knickers, just wear slacks and tuck the bottoms into knee socks. VERY effective. My kids went to an elementary school that had a colonial day every year and all of the boys did this. Some industrious moms cut the bottoms off of pants and put an elasticized thing in the hem, that worked too. Get a nice crocheted doily or placemat-type thing made of lace, and pin that to your shirt. Put on a vest. You're Ben Franklin.

It was so funny every spring to see the 10 yr old boys all bragging about how their lace ruffles were nicer than the other guys'.

(note: I couldn't figure out where to put the apostrophe in guys)
posted by iconomy 23 September | 14:38
Elsa - ginormous codpiece.
posted by rainbaby 23 September | 15:02
My dearest rainbaby, how I have waited for the day when you would murmur those words to me ---

Oh. For the Ben Franklin costume. I see. Oh. Of course.
posted by Elsa 23 September | 15:17
Iconomy, I too so much want to favorite your comment.

I will be a witch again, Wicked and of the East variety. No one but my husband will think I'm sexy under my black hat and green makeup.

posted by bearwife 23 September | 15:21
Elsa's Zombie Ben Franklin is the germ of a great idea. Just substitute "Zombie" for "Sexy" in any of the costume names above, and we have the Future of Halloween Costuming!

Zombie Elmo
Zombie Ghostbuster
Zombie Chucky Doll (not much of a stretch, though)
Zombie Optimus Prime
Zombie Na'vi (blue-gray?)
Zombie Strawberry Shortcake
Zombie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (too complicated?)
Zombie Stewardess
Zombie Britney
Zombie Indira Gandhi
Zombie Mother Theresa (also not much of a stretch)
Zombie Bea Arthur (too soon?)
Zombie R2D2
Zombie Klein Bottle
Zombie Paramecium
Zombie DNA strand
Zombie Hugh Hefner
Zombie Playboy Bunny
Zombie Queen of Hearts
Zombie Joker
Zombie Luke Skywalker
Zombie Wicked Witch from Oz (although you'd have to be pre-crushed-by-a-house or pre-melted... too much trouble)

I may shove my plus-sized frame into a Zombie Santa, Zombie quonsar (only for MeFi Meetups), Zombie Garfield, Zombie John Belushi/Chris Farley/John Candy (whichever I can make more recognizable) or Zombie Generic Fatcat Banker (with a little boat and a bucket for bailing-out).
posted by oneswellfoop 23 September | 16:26
I don't know about the sexy but i want to have a good costume this year. It's early enough, I can make the time, but for right now inspiration eludes me. I'd be willing to go a distance to show it off too. All i can think of are some obligatory wounds with an elaborate story behind them. always with the elaborate stories. Once i went as the Angel of Mercy and said, "I am the Angel of Mercy, give me your hands--" and them twisted them backward until they said mercy, or uncle as it were. Alias the Angel from Uncle.
I think a good costume might need the right boots and some significant underwear.
posted by ethylene 23 September | 17:14
I was kinda horrified at the idea of Sexy Indira Gandhi, but I'm glad I read on. *applauds iconomy*
posted by Firas 23 September | 17:57
Last year I was a somewhat-awesome, somewhat-thrown-together Dream Sequence Maude Lebowski. I think I spent three days running around town to try to find light fixture globes that were big enough. And that top was just an old skirt that I had someone staple onto me in a vague attempt at a shape.

≡ Click to see image ≡

I kind of want to make it better, but not this year. Still, I could always go as a Mary Kay Lady, which is what everyone thought I was when I was Prof. Umbridge in '07. Le sigh.

≡ Click to see image ≡

Do they have fat Robert Palmer Girls?
posted by Madamina 23 September | 18:05
I so, so wish I had a reason to dress up. When I could dress up for work, I went as a suffragette one year. I had a friend sew up a more-or-less period (Edwardian) skirt. I put a crinoline under it and wore it with a buttoned up shirt, vest, and a sash that read "Votes for Women!" I still feel it was the epitome of Halloween awesomeness, but a lot of people didn't get it.

My daughter is going to be a black cat and she wants me to be a witch, which I probably shall.

posted by jeoc 23 September | 20:07
Feel really repressed and unsexy all year long, and then one night a year, get dressed up really slutty and go out in public.

See, that's why I think everyone should be a little slutty every day. So there's not so much pressure at Halloween.

This year's primary costume: Joan Holloway. Secondary costume: absinthe addict. Last year I was a Victorian-era magician's assistant which nobody got. *sigh*
posted by JoanArkham 23 September | 20:09
I haven't been (or been invited) to a Halloween party in twenty years or so. I must not hang out with the right people or something.
posted by octothorpe 23 September | 20:29
Some may consider Elvira the originator of the Sexy Halloween Costume. So of course, she's making a comeback.
posted by oneswellfoop 23 September | 21:16
Among the myriad problems with the Sexy Costume is simple logistics: it's usually cold as hell on Halloween and very possibly raining. Sexy Elmo In Down Parka is more like it.

I shall be the Pathetic Robot this year, seeing as how I have done Lady in Sort of Weird Wig and Lady in Possibly That's a Witch Hat and Kind of Hippie Lady Only Maybe Those Are Her Normal Clothes to death. Also the classic in our family: Hippie Gypsy Princess Witch! This year, though, it's different. I'm going to make my costume out of cardboard boxes and duct tape and maybe tin foil and have it all kind of sad and not really working very well and possibly I'll have a flashlight that I'll blink on and off intermittently. I am actually really excited about this because for once I'm going in expecting to make something pathetic and that, I think, I can achieve.
posted by mygothlaundry 23 September | 22:22
For costume ideas- check out They have awesome how-tos.
posted by toastedbeagle 24 September | 16:24
A few years ago I had a MeCha rant about the "Sexy" costumes, wondering why you didn't see Sexy Wal-Mart Greeter and Sexy DMV Employee and stuff like that. But geez, a few years go by, and those just sound like kind of good ideas. So go 'head, kids, I think now that I'm over 40 I've jumped the cultural shark. Be sexy whatever.

I need some kind of costume, sexy or no, that works for both my demographic and size-o-graphic. I'll be thinking...
posted by Miko 25 September | 23:03 plots artists' average popularity by gender and age. || AskMeCha: