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19 July 2010
random pedantic things that annoy you I'll go first.. (1) usage of "whom" where "who" is the only possible pronoun→[More:]
(2) people who still think "wherefore are thou" means "where are you" (3) people thinking that Immaculate Conception is a doctrine about Christ's birth instead of Mary's.
1. Fake sound on police-camera-clip shows, so you have the same tyre squeals and explosion noises on everything.
2. Stupid TV arrest procedures.
Clip shows and TV news show how the police apprehend someone: stand a safe distance away, make them lie down with their hands visible, approach cautiously keeping them covered. But in movies and in TV fiction, cops always leave the suspect standing up, approach within arms length, wave their gun in the suspect's face; and then 99% of the time have the gun taken away from them by a slick martial arts move.
Oh, for example, one person will have the fork in the left hand, the knife in the right, and then put down the knife after the food's been cut, switch the fork to the right hand, and eat. Another person will keep the fork in the left hand all the time. One person will put the fork into the mouth tines up, another one tines down. I'm certainly not saying that all individuals in every family eat the same way all the time (there are variations in my own family), but I see it so often on the screen that I don't really think the actors are doing it on purpose after intense Stanislavsky sessions about their characters; I think nobody's thought about it and the director should. crankcrankcrankcrankcrank :)
Faze versus phase. You are going through a phase when you plaster your room with posters of Shaun Cassidy; you are fazed when your brother's cute friend discovers this. And when you shoot him, you use a phaser.
People who whistle in public
People who walk reaaalllly slowly in the middle of the sidewalk/hallway
definate vs. definite, dominate vs. dominant, but especially discrete vs. discreet
Movies where players of musical instruments can't fake it convincingly. (Former cellist here.) Seriously -- unless you get someone who either used to play something similar or is willing to put in the work, why bother having this as a plot point at all?
Movies that are supposed to take place in a particular town, but use one external shot and flub the rest. The producers of one movie were here on campus for several days and got a few seconds of B-roll shots on a hill; they then used what appeared to be a lovely suburban church as "The University of Wisconsin Library." We have over 40 libraries on campus, including two giant buildings flanking a definitively Madison quadrangle called Library Mall. WTF, people. We're not a small town! People have been here! They'll know what it's supposed to look like!
Books where it is clear that their editor paid absolutely no attention to obvious facts before they got the book published, or at least didn't care about the realism. (Here's where I admit, again, that I occasionally read bad romance novels with "wounded hero" plots.) Examples:
--If a person is in a wheelchair, chances are that they a) can't just magically appear in your house to surprise you, as even one-level houses typically have a front stoop, and b) probably can't have a career as a professional chef in a regular industrial kitchen without at least SOME issues of "oh, gee, can't reach that/go in there."
--High school football teams in the late 1990s do not typically have members named Dale, Buddy, Fred and Sly.
I will never understand why people think it's important to make the distinction of "less" and "fewer". I mean, the rule is easy enough to understand, but I have no idea why anyone would care.
Oooh, madamina, yes! I also read trashy novels and the lack of attention to detail drives me crazy. In the last one, it was not the talking alien dog lawyer who sent me up the wall, it was the fact that they went off to celebrate their latest court win in NYC at the "most upscale restaurant in Manhattan." Which was called Le Chalet. And served fondue. Yeah, um, no. I can't decide if I deeply pity the author, seeing as how she has apparently never left the suburbs or the 70s or if I'm just annoyed at having to suspend my disbelief even above and beyond the alien talking dog lawyer.
People who type "U" for you and "R" for are, etc. I find it hard to read. The less/fewer thing bothers me, too. Every time I hear less used incorrectly, I have to correct it in my head. I don't know why.
The grocer's apostrophe bothers me, and I am amazed at how many putatively well-educated people don't seem to understand the difference between a plural and a possessive.
3. say 'walla' when they mean 'voilą' (this seems to be a peculiarly American thing)
4. say 'pacific' when they mean 'specific'
5. do not know how to use the apostrophe
In movies and on TV, when they:
6. get courtroom/legal stuff wrong. This usually leaves a huge hole in the plot which makes me cross and stop watching.
7. have lifestyles that the character couldn't possibly in a million years afford on the earnings that their character would have in real life. This is especially true of things set in London.
8. order a meal and then never eat any of it.
9. always find a parking space right outside the building they want to enter.
10. are all members of the same family but have no physical resemblance or accent in common.
Keep in mind this may be a medication or other medical issue. I can be hungry when I order but repulsed and nauseous by the time the food arrives. Then again, after reading your #10 I guess you might be, as the Brits say, taking the piss. (Did I do that right?)
9. always find a parking space right outside the building they want to enter.
Well, there's this thing. The gods bless each of us with one thing. My thing is finding good parking spaces.
And I'm pretty sure I'm one of those people who fuck up the apostrophe thing. Contractions and plurals aren't a problem, it's the possessive part that always confuses me.
Also - the mister messes up the your/you're thing all the time. GRAR!
People who don't acknowledge you, even for a split second. Went to cousin's (groom) wedding; my mother and I were introduced to the bride. She shook hands with my mother, who said, "and this is my daughter, Melismata". The woman then IMMEDIATELY turned to answer someone calling her, without ANY acknowledgment at all, without even for a SPLIT SECOND saying "nice to meet you," or "excuse me I need to answer this call," or ANYTHING.
"Planning on" instead of "Planning to". For no particular reason, I hate the use of "main" to mean "primary" for anything other than sewers or thoroughfares.
Also, using "since" instead of "because". I realize that both are correct in most cases, but "since" has a temporal connotation that "because" does not. In fact, not keeping the two meanings distinct can cause ambiguity. For instance consider these statements:
Since Bob became director, we always have snacks at the weekly meeting.
and
Because Bob became director, we always have snacks at the weekly meeting.
The first is a statement describing how long we've been having snacks at the meeting (ever since they put Bob in charge); the second assigns a cause and effect (we have snacks because Bob is in charge).
Misspelling. Why can't people use spellchecker and also proofread?
Saying someone was "kicked out" when you mean they were told to leave, or evicted, or tossed out on their ear by a bouncer . . . these are all different things!
Badly written books. Especially badly written books that also have typos. I see red and consider calling up the so called "editors" and letting them know how inept they are.
And in the general world of grar, I hate people who talk on their phones loudly in elevators and stores and restaurants, meanwhile staring at you blankly. I loathe left lane drivers. I cannot stand drivers who will not allow a legal merge, even after they see your turn signal. Red light and stop sign jumpers make me feel (for a moment or two) homicidal. And I really, really despise litterbugs.
The overuse of the word "decade" drives me batty. Seriously, does it sound more impressive if Mr. Smith has been making pots out recycled garbage for 2 decades? Not twenty years? Why not 1.6 dozen years?
I am a loud talker. Turns out, I have mild hearing impairment and may not even hear my own voice accurately. Your understanding is appreciated. And when I tell you I can't hear you, please look straight at me, and speak up a bit. I can't hear you if your back is to me. I can't hear you if you mumble, and sometimes I just can't hear you.
You know that place that lets you pick out a bunch of books and take them home for free (as long as you remember to bring them back when they're due)? Nice place, isn't it?
3. say 'walla' when they mean 'voilą' (this seems to be a peculiarly American thing)
4. say 'pacific' when they mean 'specific'
5. do not know how to use the apostrophe
In movies and on TV, when they:
7. have lifestyles that the character couldn't possibly in a million years afford on the earnings that their character would have in real life. This is especially true of things set in London.
8. order a meal and then never eat any of it.
9. always find a parking space right outside the building they want to enter.
People who still type two spaces after every sentence when typing. On a computer. Using a variable-width font.
Sentences that end with a preposition. I try very hard to avoid this, which leads me to say "To whom should I send this?" instead of "Who do I send this to?" I'm sure this adds to the issue of people thinking my emails are snobbish. I don't care if it makes me sound pompus, it's correct, damnit!
Being addressed as "Moms." It's a thing my in-laws do (example: telling my son, "Give your Moms a hug for me.") My SO called me that twice before I told him the third time would trigger mayhem.
Also maddening: SO occasionally pronounces sandwich as "sangwitch."
People who still type two spaces after every sentence when typing. On a computer. Using a variable-width font.
Hey! I learned to type on a typewriter and old habits die hard!
Yea, I can't stop myself from hitting two spaces after a period. My tenth grade typing teacher is still standing behind me and my selectric in my mind watching me type.
It drives me nuts when, at a clock stoppage in a televised sports game, the announcer tells us we have "reached the two minute and forty-two second mark of the third period." There's no mark at 2:42 in the third, or 3:16 in the first, but they say that shit, as if it was a significant point in the match. Two minutes left in the game? That's the two minute mark. There aren't very many "marks" on the game clock.
Also, the way announcers say "If he kicks that field goal, his team wins the game" after the game is over and they're talking about what could have been. There's a tense for that, dickhead, and your poor grammar actually affects how actual normal people talk and write about sports, and I just hate to see that influence extend to my friends, because I don't want to punch my friends in the mouth for sounding like some tough-talking ex-jock pants-shitter who thinks conditional is something you put in your hair.
"I'm loving _____." No, you love it. You never used this construction before McDonald's told you it was okay. It's not.
I type two spaces after a period because one day your precious computers will be dead and I will rule the typing world with an iron finger! Also if computers are smart enough now to kern the single space after the period correctly, they're smart enough to shrink the double space as well. Plus I like fixed-width fonts, and your single-spacing makes all paragraphs look like one long sentence.
I type on a computer and a manual typewriter. I'm getting pretty good at switching back and forth between one space or two after a period. The thing I have trouble with is that on the typewriter the apostrophe is over the "8" and you have to type a lowercase letter l to get a number 1. I love my typewriter.
Eh. I just Ctrl-H all double spaces with a single one--a couple of times--when I'm done with the document. I learned to put two in and I can't always be certain I haven't.
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