I never remember my dreams. Even if I wake up in the middle of one, it's there, then it's gone.

I never remember my own dreams. I only seem to remember other people's.

I was wearing sandals that were really smooth on the bottom and I kept slipping. I walked into my house (which was for sale) and a female realtor was in the kitchen, making toast for my husband. We argued about her being there. She was socially awkward and wouldn't make eye contact with me when my husband introduced us. I disliked her and was rude to her so she would leave. I seemed to be very threatened by the fact that she was making toast.

I had a dream-baby again last night; it's my fifth in a month. This is almost getting annoying.

My biological clock is doing just fine, but thanks for trying, subconscious.

Long walk through my parents' property in the middle of the night to get back to my car which I left parked on the road at the bottom of the hill. When I got to it a man was walking past. Without thinking I hit my unlock button on my keys and the headlights blinked like they do - the man stopped and turned to me. I tried to slip quickly past him and into the open door of my car, but he reached in before I could get the door closed and grabbed me. I screamed, not knowing what he was going to do to me. I couldn't get away.

I had another one of those weird disjointed things where I'm skateboarding somewhere important and it's really vital for whatever reason that I'm not late, but somehow I wind up swimming in heavy surf. I'm never quite sure how this turns out.

Argh. All my dreams in the past week or so have been those kind where they are so mundane that you think they are real, and you don't feel rested when you wake up.
Also, I dreamed that I was having an affair with a physicist who was about to accept a Nobel prize. I woke up really worried that I was actually having an affair with someone.

1) I had a dream that I was at my parents' house (my childhood home; a lot of my dreams take place there) and there was a wild man outside who kept trying to get in. One night he was dragging his hands along the brick yelling "ENTER-TAINNNNNNNMENT!" in a really creepy voice. The next night he came back and was outside the garage, trying to get in. Turned out it was SF Giants pitcher Barry Zito*. So I called 911 and told him that Barry Zito was harassing us, and they came to get him.

I have a lot of calling-911-from-my-parents'-house dreams, and they usually end up in either not getting an answer or interminably long wait times, but this one ended up okay.

I woke up right after this dreamed and marveled at the fact that I wasn't more freaked out by it.

2) Also in my hometown, went to the high school and tried to sign up for the band, but they wouldn't let me play. I was really distraught until I realized that I was 20 years out of high school and didn't really need to be in the band for credit or anything.

3) I was in the audience of the Ellen DeGeneres show, which took place on the open upper deck of a double-decker bus. There was a really cool camera on a crane following us around -- it could maneuver its way a block or so away. We rode around in the bus talking to Ellen and trying to make her laugh. Turns out this was just down the street from my parents' house too -- we came to the stop sign at the end of the road and were trying to decide which way to go. Straight and left were just houses, but right led to the cool rock formations out by the cement plant, so we went that way and I woke up.

I think I'll call my parents tonight. I must be missing them.

* May have something to do with the fact that Barry Zito is on my fantasy baseball team and has, by all appearances, transitioned from good to shitty, just like a werewolf.

Jeez, typo much?

My son was driving my father's old car so that I could look for the manual and get the washer/dryer in the back to work. He parked so I could take off my seatbelt and really search for the manual - it's SUCH a drag when you can't do your laundry in the car, you know - and he got out to go to the record store to sell some CDs. Then I realized that he had just parked in the middle of the street and taken the keys with him and traffic was beginning to pile up. This made me furious and also kind of afraid that either the cops would come or the car would cause an accident but there was nothing I could do about it except yell angrily out the windows.

all this is actually kind of heavily symbolic. Sheesh.

Last night I dreamed that a cousin I barely knew sent me a rather expensive and thoughtful gift. Both in my dream life and in real life this would be very unusual, since this cousin and I are not very well acquainted (When you are Italian, oftentimes you have cousins coming out the ass. I have so many first cousins, I haven't met most of them.). In real life, we spoke briefly earlier this year after his father (my godfather) passed away. I think I had a dream about him because I left a message with his mom last night, checking in on her. I also don't know her very well, I haven't seen in over a decade, but I try to call every couple of months to see how she is doing since my uncle died.

I only remember waking up and petting my dog, who was sleeping in his perfect circle shape. He felt warm and silky and sinuous and muscular.

Glad to know I am not the only one having weird vivid dreams. I dreamt about my ex-boyfriend. Again. The kind of lovely dream where upon waking up, I remembered only the good things about the man, missed him, and thought, stupidly, maybe I'll write him.

Then a few minutes later my conscious brain reminded me why that might not be such a good idea. Now I'm torn.

It was a few nights ago, but I had a dream that I looked down and noticed the world's MOST DISGUSTING CASE OF HPV covering my entire groin and thighs, and it looked just like that crazy HPV from this old metafilter post.

Oh, but it was actually worse than that because the warts were more distinct from each other and seemingly prehensile. Sort of anemone-like.

Why why why did I LOOK? Good god.

Also, my dream was that I went dancing and zombies attacked. I don't know why but I have constant zombie nightmares.

I've been having a recurring dream about being lost in Queens (I've never been there.)

I also dream a lot about going up & down stairs that are supposedly on the same floor.

I've been having that "someone took a swing at me" dream where I flinch and wake up.

I've been having that "someone took a swing at me" dream where I flinch and wake up.

I was in a cave because a giant flock of bats had taken over and all I had was one flamethrower which I threw out of the cave and it exploded, sucking the air out of the cave (but it was ok because we all remembered to hold our breath) and the resulting fireball took care of most of the bats. But there were a few stragglers left so I took a black sword called "Momus" and went out to deal with them. Fortunately the bats were scared of the sword and just flapped off.

(Incidentally, Momus is the greek god of mockery, which I didn't know until I looked it up a couple of days later. My subconscious is fucking with me, methinks...)