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04 May 2010

Workday whine In #bunnies, we're discussing our "favorite" marketing jargon/business speak.[More:]

Why don't you touch base with us so we can make sure we're on the same page vis-a-vis this requirement?
wait is unpacking this requirement on the meeting agenda? It's fairly involved so we should reprioritize this action item in light of it being low-value in our timeline.
posted by Firas 04 May | 13:33
Please send the TPS report by noon today.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 04 May | 14:07
I'm parallel-pathing this discussion with another one in which I'll post up some of our major obstacles to tee off the discussion.
posted by Miko 04 May | 14:09
I front-load on information, so I can save the back office some time.
posted by msali 04 May | 14:32
Six Sigma synergy systematizes stop-loss.
posted by Colonel_Chappy 04 May | 15:50
"Connect" has been sweeping around the office recently. "I need to connect with you on the Jones project".
posted by muddgirl 04 May | 17:00
We need to distill this down into fewer bullet points, and weight on the key messages.
posted by By the Grace of God 04 May | 20:00
I got an email that said my boss' boss "isn't loving" the way some marketing crap looked. I kinda hoped I'd never see this grammar butchery in a professional setting, I mean, it's bad enough that the internet is full of dopes who think that "I'm loving ___" holds some different meaning than "I love ___" (strangely, they would never have thought to use it until McDonalds told them it was okay), but goddammit can't they keep that idiotic shit out of the workplace? I mean fucking lawyers, they're supposed to be very careful with words, right? All I want is a little professionalism!
posted by Hugh Janus 04 May | 20:54
Is this agenda item low-hanging fruit, which will give us a quick win? Is it a soup-to-nuts solution? How does it tell the story of our product? Bob, could you reach out to Jane on this? Oh, Jane doesn't have any available bandwidth today? All right, just let her know that Jim has decided that the term Quality Assurance will be changed to Quality Control and that she'll need to go into all project documentation and make that change.
posted by deadcowdan 05 May | 07:05
I am so glad that I have never worked anywhere where this jargon is used. I still half-believe that y'all are making it up
posted by gaspode 05 May | 08:00
Let's get together so I can download this to you.
posted by Miko 05 May | 08:12
Oh, Jane doesn't have any available bandwidth today?

OMG. If someone told me they "didn't have any available bandwidth" as a way of telling me they're busy, I'd smack the latte right out of their hand.
posted by BoringPostcards 05 May | 08:33
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