1. Got to see my friend almost kill Ryan Seacrest on TV last night. So sad. Losing him would ruin television as we know it.

2. Last night, Twinkie cleaned the floors with a little doggy mop. Such a good dog.

3. I don't know how on earth I'm going to fit in my dress with my belly growing this fast!

1. Obvious filter, giving the dog more water makes her pee more. She woke me up TWICE in the middle of the night to be let out. Better that than pissing on an expensive rug.

2. Off to the beach to see the in-laws for the weekend. I don't know why we all pretend like we care that it is Easter. Tradition, I guess. I honestly could care less.

3. Puppy got accepted into the NASA astronaut training program this morning. We are so very proud!

1. I have GOT to find time to go get new glasses. Finding myself squinting way too much lately.

2. Family plans for this weekend have fallen through, and I am really looking forward to a quiet weekend around the house and yard, esp. since the weather is supposed to stay as gorgeous and warm as it is right now.

3. Feeling better than ever about my recent career change. Turns out that alpacas ARE, in fact, easier to manage than TV producers.

1. having sprained my back is a nuisance. It took me 45 minutes to get out of bed since I had left the painkillers downstairs.

2. my 16 month old daughter will return shortly from the US. Yay!

3. I'm really getting sick of these renovations. Now the builders maintain that the old bricks they found in the cellar are medieval foundations and that we're not allowed to remove them. Who the fuck cares about a roman castellum that was used later on by bishop Balderik?! The whole thing has been in ruins since 1013 and hasn't been used for a thousand years for god's sake!!

Sorry, got that mixed up. They're probably remnants of castle Lofen of the German emperors in the early middle ages since the bricks seem to form the roof of a vault. Confusing since they stood at the same place.
Anyhow, who cares!

1. I had a little cold that's blossomed into a BIG cold, with a troubling symptom: loss of memory. Last evening, I asked with amazement, "Wait, I was sick yesterday too? Ooooooh. What happened?" The Fella said, "Back to bed!" and all but carried me there. (I think I'm okay again, just a little snuffly. Of course, there's a chance that I won't recall this later.)

2. My new espresso maker is CRAP. I hate it. Wah.

3. This new crown pinches, and my subjects have been dilatory in easing my discomfort, either through goldsmithing or light scalp massages with delicate scented oils.

Oh my goodness, I was posting here aaaaaalllllll daaaay yesterday. I don't, uh, really remember that.

1) I am going on a long weekend (Passover) holiday with the mister to LA, starting this afternoon :D

2) While there, his Grandma has insisted that we go shopping together (yay! shopping! in LA!!) This is awesome beyond description because I desperately need cute shoes for summer and jeans that don't look stupid.

3) I wasted far, far too much time yesterday reading the Hyperbole and a Half blog (thanks, TPS!) and now I'm trying to do most of a week's worth of work in the 2 hours I have left!!! Yay, procrastination FTW!

1. Layoffs have started. First one was Tuesday, a friend of mine. She walked out of the meeting and hasn't been seen since. To add a whole 'nother level of fun, I am in the unenviable position of keeping the calendar for the Hatchet Lady. HR Lady asked me yesterday to set a meeting on Hatchet Lady's calendar with another friend, whom I can't IMAGINE they'd even CONSIDER laying off. But when HR Lady and Hatchet Lady have a meeting with a third party, the glare from the red flags is positively blinding. I've been sick about it for the past two days. The meeting's at 2:00. I'm really, really hoping it's not what I think it is, but I'm worried. And I HATE HATE HATE being the only one who knows that it's coming.

2. I think I feel safe in my job, but this is a situation that makes you paranoid and makes you look for little clues in every little thing. Like, my boss announced two days ago that he was going out of town next week. (It's his wife's spring break.) So I'm like, whoa, is he leaving town so he doesn't have to be here when I get the axe? And then I go back to feeling secure, and then I feel stupid for feeling secure.

3. Not liking life much right now.

1. OMG OMG OMG I won a portfolio competition that I had totally forgotten that I entered so I'm going to Zona Tortona in Milan and participating in workshops plus showing off my designs two weeks from now. yeay awesome!

2. OMGOMGOMG I've been so busy working for money I don't actually have any mature design projects to bring

3. PANIC

1. The holders of a HELOC on one of the rentals are insisting that all $40K be paid back inside my parents' bankruptcy. Argh. The longer my mom is in this the more risk of a problem preventing discharge. Anyway, at least it would give her 100% equity in the building at the end.

2. Yes, the drug house is back in a big way. The same people are still there, basically, and I have sent over 500 text message tips to Crimestoppers and made at least 50 911 or non-emergency calls and still. We're supposed to have a nuisance ordinance in this town. As you may recall, the fun fillip is that the landlord is a city employee, and they're all running scared of a federal lawsuit for some reason. That's what I've heard, anyway. Maybe it's a real Thin Blue Line kind of thing.

3. Watched first season of The Wire. Whoa, that's some compelling storytelling there. Can't imagine what it must have been like having to wait a week for each new revelation -- and yet it (mostly) wasn't melodramatic. yes, this also feels a bit much like real life right now.

*whuffles for those in need*

1. I feel like things are starting to come together. I'm doing well on saving money. (I actually have enough right now in my envelopes to do some discretionary spending!) I'm in the process of getting ahead on my school assignments so the end of the semester isn't all OSHIT like it usually is.

2. My biggest concern at the moment is that I'm heading into a manicish phase. I've barely been sleeping 6-7 hours a night when I typically average 9 and even getting those 6-7 hours has been a bitch. I've been feeling fidgety and have been picking at myself more than I should. I'm hoping that if it is an up phase, I can try to ride it out until after I visit my homie at the end of the month. I'd be nice to have an irresponsible weekend.

3. I'm totes fucking doing this. I'm handling my responsibilities and taking care of myself. I can totes fucking do this.

3. I don't know how on earth I'm going to fit in my dress with my belly growing this fast!

Is there something we need to know? (Or something I have missed?)

1. Daughter got me. . .send some pics of a Siamese cat in her apt and said she had a new pet. . .April Fools.

2. Taking dinner tonight to a friend who shattered her kneecap. Split pea soup & salad.

3. Going to Hermosa, Ap 15-20 to see mom, first time in several years.

Is there something we need to know? (Or something I have missed?)

Seriously!! Can't update, must know status of TPS's belly!

Is there something we need to know? (Or something I have missed?)
I thought it must be something I missed - come on TPS, spill.

1. Get new glasses soon - no more squinting and sore eyes at the end of the day.

2. It's my turn to be Director again in a few weeks - more money, car, but lots more responsibility.

3. Two weeks before I head to Vietnam - still shit-loads of work to do and get translated before then.

Is there something we need to know? (Or something I have missed?)

The date?

1. My new desk at work sucks. People constantly walking past between my desk and the cabinet which I have to access ALL THE TIME to get to my files, and which is a gap of about 2ft, I am sitting opposite two of the noisiest people in the building and the actual surface area of the desk is about 30% smaller than my old desk, which was barely large enough for the big files I have to work on as it is.

2. But I have four days off, then just one day back in the office before my holiday. It's a busy weekend ahead, but a fun one with hopefully a good football result.

3. Lovely evening with sueinnyc and a group of her friends, guest of honour being a visitor from the US, who I might see next week when I am in Astoria!

1. Today was a really good day at work. Attended a fascinating and brilliant talk by an auditory expert from Rockefeller U. Then worked on my proposal for my new project that I'm super excited about. Days like this make that whole science PhD thing worthwhile.

2. Record bill at the grocery store tonight. Hope that lasts me comfortably till next Sunday.

3. This weekend should be awesome. Seeing Chloe with a friend tomorrow. Then a potluck followed by Zakir Hussain on Saturday! Easter egg hunt at my advisors' farmhouse on Sunday. Woohoo!

1. Got meds for my back problems- I maintain that I am too young to feel like this.

2. Worked a different job than usual (cashier) at the food coop today and instead walked people home and took their carts back. It was the perfect weather for it and it was fun to talk to a new random person every 20 min for about 10 min. I also got completely taken in by the fake newspaper the coop made announcing all sorts of upcoming changes including combining doggie and baby daycare options (you are allowed one normal dog and one normal child or 2 chihuahas and 2 premies- that is what tipped me off to the joke, duh.)

3. I've been asked to take over a small island nation in the Pacific and teach the people there the wonders of melted cheese and reality tv. It doesn't pay much but I think I have to take it.

1. Lucy pooped in the house again tonight while I was home. She had been acting weird since I got in, yowling and wanting attention, then she pooped on the rug. I'm sure it's because of these unneutered toms who've recently appeared in the neighbourhood. The yowling, I now realise, was her saying "I really need to poo, but I'm scared to go out".

2. So now the cats' bed is in the kitchen, and I've secured the door with my kettlebells so they can't pull it open (it's a bi-fold thing and they might work out how to open it). I think this will have to be the arrangement while I'm on holiday - I can't have neighbours cleaning up poop when they come in to feed them. I doubt Lucy will poo in the kitchen, it's too small and her bed and food are in there.

3. I feel sorry that Bailey, who has never messed indoors, will have to endure this but I need Lucy to break this indoor pooing habit and start going outside again in the forest. Over the next few days, I will make sure both cats spend a lot of time outdoors during the day. I will lock their catflap to prevent them from coming back in.

Is there something we need to know? (Or something I have missed?)
The date?
What's so special about 2 April?

You're all suckers- the thread is called "April Fools Day Edition". That said, glad I was able to fool some folks.

Is there something we need to know? (Or something I have missed?)

The date?

I am SO lame!