This makes me wonder if there's a word for what I am. I'm frugal, and do things for myself and buy as much of my belongings secondhand as I can (with the occasional splurge on that perfect new thing) which makes me sound boho, but I don't like the boho "look". I like a polished, elegant aesthetic (not that I always achieve it).

Swan, the annoying internet parlance I've seen calls you a "frugal fashionista."

Not bad. Both parts of the portmanteau stem from French. That's good.
But I'm not sure people will be able to parse the parts when they hear the term for the first time and understand the insult/joke.
Fauxhemien! No, that's a joke that needs explaining.
(It's really clever you see. It's part faux and part bohémien. Because these hipsters are not really poor and on the edge of society. Get it?)
Of course the original bohémiens were not gipsies or from Bohemia either. Just city dwelling characters. Fakers! So a fauxhémien is a fake fake gipsy. Hm.

Btw OS: wouldn't you be a fauxho then?

There's still the catch-all for the hipster/fauxhemian: poser.

Also: I am astounded and flabbergasted at this shirt.

This makes me wonder if there's a word for what I am.

Easy, you're an orange swan. You can tell people that when you meet them and they ask to pin a label to you, or if you're looking for a quick bit of self-identity.

Oh man, that shirt almost tops my idea to sell customized Snuggies that are printed with a picture of your own body.

I simply call them douchebags.

I don't think frugal fashionista describes me either. A fashionista cares about labels and what's "in". I don't.

I do believe I'll have to go with the orange swan label.;-)

fake fake gipsy

fake fake gypsy told my mama
lawd, 'fore I was born
got a boy child comin'
gonna be a faux-hee-mee-un!

I love the term fauxhemian. It's up there with "trust fund hippies."

Ah, look who the fauxhemian invited over, a trustafarian... I'm leaving this party.