Eh I mixed up two different things in there didn't I? I meant more about personal interactions vs. public-voice interactions than the part about unexpected behavior.

Sometime over the last few years I was in a seminar where the presenter noted that there are three kinds of challenges that make people sensitive - three triggers, as it were. One was "competency." I remember that because it's definitely my shortest trigger. I can't remember the other two - "security" might have been one.

See John Gabriel's "Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory." Or the more discursive view on Wikipedia.

On a more personal note, it never ceases to amaze me that I, someone who enters a state of near-terminal existential angst at the thought of even using the telephone to contact a stranger, can stand up in front of a class of students to lecture on my own subject with nothing more than a frisson of excitement ... :-)

I know rite? I'm like that as a student, I can go on in class discussions forever but can't for the life of me form ad-hoc connections with random other students too successfully.

Yeah, totally. To the point where only now am I realizing that I've probably been an introvert for my entire life, but you wouldn't know it given the EXTREME EFFORT IT TAKES TO GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE IN THIS FAMILY!!!!!!

Ahem.

People assume I'm assertive at work; therefore, they don't necessarily think I need help with things, which is not great when my complete nonassertiveness screws me because I'm too embarrassed to call someone about something or other, and now it's too late and it's gotten worse omggggggggg. But if you want someone to answer phone calls from people irate at something on the O'Reilly Factor, I'm your gal.

I have stage fright dreams all the time about arriving somewhere and being told I have to go onstage in 5 minutes. Have I ever had stage fright in my life, including on national television or as a soloist in front of an orchestra? Nope. Even when I knew without a doubt that everyone else was objectively better than me. Whatevs.

A guy I dated once said that he really felt the six years' difference between us (he was younger) whenever I slipped into "professional publicist mode" when I was at the anime convention where we met (he blogs about anime; I was the PR gal for the convention). All the other women he'd ever dated were younger than him and then I came along and was the first "professional career woman" he dated.

I'm still not sure if that's a compliment or not. I do like that I can snap from "goofing around" to "business-ready" in a snap, though.

I think I totally misunderstood what you were saying. Yeah, that's a wild moment - usually engendering respect.

I think I got what you were talking about re: triggers though. You meant when someone's competency is question they get their hackles up?

Yeah I was thinking more of the split between talking to someone about informal stuff and then going to their professional blog which seems much more imposing etc. Or even a face to face convo where someone segues into discussing an issue rather than just shooting the breeze.

I first was exposed to that kind of behaviour when I first went to work in an office. My mum worked there and it was odd seeing her go from casual to "all business" in the blink of an eye. As I got used to my co-workers personalities, I'd see them do the same thing. It probably wasn't long before I was doing the same thing.