There might be a way to block him so that the two of you don't have to see each other's profiles at all. I know this is possible on Lavalife.

You each certainly have the right to use it, but know that the temptation to stalk each other and potentially create bad feelings will not go away.

I know a lot of people have had luck with OKCupid, but when I was online dating, I only had 'ick' from it. I really liked Nerve personals the best.

Should I refrain from posting a profile out of politeness if he has already done so? Does he have "custody" of that site, or do we each have the right to use it?

Oh hell no. Y'all are separate people. If you don't want to deal with seeing him, yes, you can block him. (I can't remember how. I used to have an account, but I think I disabled it.)

Don't go by the percentages. I emailed a few people with high percentages, and even just from the emails I was like NO. You can block him if you get tired of his face showing up all the times in their suggestions.

Datapoint: for me, what Miko said about 'ick'.

Oh I went through this exact thing- my ex and I were a 100% match on OKC, which is ridiculous and the highest out of any of my matches.
I hadn't dated him in about a year so I clicked the "don't show him in my searches anymore" button and then wrote him a real (not OKC) email saying that I saw him there and it was funny and I hope he's doing well so as to dispel some of the awkwardness. Then he wrote me back and we compared dating stories, so it worked out fine.

Anyway, this is all to say that you can and should make it so he doesn't come up in your searches, and that no one can own a dating site.

You can hide him so you never see him again. I did that with my ex.

And I agree that the percent match thing isn't that helpful. I have another (more casual) ex on OK Cupid, but it took me forever to notice her there because she and I were supposedly 0 percent match, 80% enemy - or something equally extreme! I mean, clearly we didn't last so we weren't perfect matches, but the formula was missing something there.

I met my boyfriend on OKC. We've been together more than a year. I think it's better in smaller cities, where not as many people use stuff like Nerve.

I've never heard of one half of a former couple being barred from a dating site because the other half claimed it first. Block him if you feel you must, but don't avoid the site just because of him.

I'm on there right now, and I think I understand the "ick" factor. I'm getting bombarded with messages from people who are in no way compatible.

Should I refrain from posting a profile out of politeness if he has already done so? Does he have "custody" of that site, or do we each have the right to use it?

What, are you in the market for the same people?

dhartung: No, we're not, but I don't want to make things any more awkward than they already are.

How is this even an issue? Click "hide."