I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOUT ABOUT!!!!! ARGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM HAVING A NICE NO-DRAMA HOLIDAY SEASON BUT MY FRIEND AND NEIGHBOR HAS GONE OFF THE WAGON RESULTING IN ME HAVING TO TIME HIM OUT FROM METAFILTER AND HAVING HIS WIFE STAY AT MY HOUSE [WITH THE DOG] LAST NIGHT BECAUSE SHE WAS AFRAID TO GO HOME. I'VE GOT MY OWN DRUNKEN FAMILY MEMBER ISSUES TO WORK OUT AND THIS IS NOT HELPING AND I'M EMBARASSED FOR AND ANGRY AT MY FRIEND.

My BANK NOTIFIES ME THAT MY CREDIT CARD WAS ON A LIST OF BREACHED DATA AND THEY'RE CANCELING AND REPLACING IT. RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. THIS IS, OF COURSE, SUPER-DUPER TIMING.

Actually, it could be lots worse... and no doubt is, for other people. I've finished all but a couple of items of Christmas shopping, and for those, I can use checks, because I'm buying from local shops who know me. They can also rush me a new card.

I HAVE A STOMACH ACHE. WHY AM I ATTEMPTING THIS AWFUL NO-CARB DIET THING? OH YEAH, BECAUSE I'M VAIN AND MY BIRTHDAY'S THIS WEEKEND AND I DON'T WANT TO LOOK FAT IN PICTURES FROM IT.

MY HUSBAND SEEMS TO THINK THAT CHRISTMAS PRESENTS TO OUR FAMILIES SHOULD BE ASSESSED FOR HOW MUCH WE SPEND ON THEM AND IS WORRIED ABOUT SEEMING TOO CHEAP FOR SOME PEOPLE. HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BELIEVE THAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T COMPARE PRICE TAGS ON THEIR GIFTS. WEIRD THING IS, HE NEVER WANTS ANYTHING AND I USUALLY GIVE HIM A BOOK OR SOMETHING AND HE'S HAPPY. I DUNNO. I LIKE GIFT GIVING, BUT NOT IF I HAVE TO REACH SOME ARBITRARY SPENDING LIMIT.

SOMETIMES MY HUSBAND IS WEIRD.

(AMRO I HATE LOW CARB DIETS BUT THEY ALWAYS WORK FOR ME AND I PROBABLY SHOULD GO ON ONE BECAUSE I'M VERY PLUMP AT THE MOMENT BUT THEY ARE JUST SO BORING! AND STOMACH ACHE-INDUCING!)

I'M ALMOST DONE WITH THE KEYTAG DRAWINGS AT WORK BUT THESE LAST FEW BOXES ARE BEING A COMPLETE BITCHASS BECAUSE WHEN THE ITEMS WERE PUT IN THEM ORIGINALLY BEFORE THE MOVE TO OUR BUILDING, SOMEONE DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION AND SO NOW I HAVE TO GO THROUGH AND SORT EVERYTHING OUT AND LABEL EACH LITTLE DRAWING.

MY BOSS FINISHED MY PA TODAY AND HE WAS ALL 'YEAH YOU'RE TOTES AWESOME AND AMAZING' BUT THERE'S NO MONEY FOR RAISES AT ALL. AND THERE HASN'T EXACTLY BEEN ANY PLANS TO CHANGE THAT. BLARGH, FEELING DISCOURAGED BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A JOB, DAMNIT.

FEELING BORED WITH FOOD AND NOT WANTING TO EAT AGAIN. AWESOME, JUST WHAT I NEEDED AT THIS TIME OF YEAR--ANOTHER ASSKICKING SADFACE EXTRAVAGANZA.

THERE'S A BOARD MEETING ON THURSDAY THAT I AM SERIOUSLY DREADING BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO DO TWO THINGS THAT ALWAYS PISS PEOPLE OFF--RAISING LATE FEES AND STARTING TO REGULATE PARKING. WE'VE ALREADY HAD 2 FORECLOSURES WITH ANOTHER 3 ON THE WAY. IN 28 UNITS. ARGH, I FEEL LIKE A JACKASS FOR BEING ALL 'PAY YOUR BILLS OR WE ARE GOING TO START TOWING YOUR CARS. AND YOUR TENANTS CARS TOO, FOR ALL YOU ILLEGAL FUCKING LANDLORDS OUT THERE.'

MY BACK IS STILL HURTING. I'VE BEEN DOING MY STRETCHES AND TAKING IT EASY. I DO NOT APPROVE. I JUST SPENT $200 OUT OF POCKET TO PAY FOR XRAYS TO DIAGNOSE THE FIRST HERNIATED DISK. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT THE MRI WOULD COST. AND I HAVE DECENT INSURANCE! ARGH ARGH GRAR GRAR GRAR.

STILL DON'T HAVE HEAT AND JUST FOUND OUT I NEED $1000 WORTH OF ACUTE REPAIRS FOR MY CAR BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE LOANING ME ONE TO USE WHILE MY CAR IS GETTING FIXED. I CAN'T AFFORD THIS BUT I HAVE TO. WAHHHHHH.

I AM HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH MY RIGHT HAND STAFF MEMBER. I DEPEND ON HER TO DO A LOT OF THINGS WITH MY YOUTH GROUP, BUT LATELY SHE HAS BEEN ALL DEFENSIVE AND UPPITY WITH THE REST OF THE STAFF. SHE IS YOUNG, BUT NOT THAT YOUNG. I PREVIOUSLY HAVE EXCUSED THIS BEHAVIOUR FROM HER BEFORE AND ALLOWED HERSELF TO WORK IT OUT ON HER OWN, BUT SHE IS IN A MORE LEADERSHIP ROLE SO SHE CAN'T BEHAVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. I WANT TO HELP HER GROW BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. SHE IS VERY INTELLIGENT BUT OCCASIONALLY EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE FOR HER AGE.

May the spirits of those who die for lack of the health care that Joe Lieberman is working to deny them torment him as he spends eternity burning in Hell.

[It's a cold rage at this point - so no caps.]

I CAN'T FIND ANY STAMPS AND NEED TO SEND A LETTER AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF I CAN'T GET THAT EXPENSIVEPHOTOPRINTER TO WORK NOW JUST AS I FINALLY BOUGHT NEW PAPER AND TOTALLY NEED TO PRINT WWWHYYYYYYY DOES HARDWARE HATE ME TODAY?

MORALE IS RAPIDLY REACHING ROCK BOTTOM. FAMILY DRAMA ON TOP OF THIS IS CLEARLY NOT HELPING. NOW DESPERATELY TRYING TO RENT A CABIN IN THE WOODS FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS SO I CAN BE AWAY FROM PEOPLE AND JUST PULL MYSELF TOGETHER.

THINGS AREN'T SO BAD, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. WISHING MUCH STRENGTH TO THOSE HAVING A WORSE TIME THAN I. YEAH!

RICHAT, OTHER THAN THE WHOLE FIASCO WITH THAT STUPID BILL, THINGS AREN'T REALLY THAT BAD ON MY END, EITHER. BUT I BROKE MY CAPS LOCK KEY AND NOW I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING EVEN IF I WANTED TO! (J/K)

BIIIG FAMILY DRAMA THAT FINALLY RESOLVED AMICABLY -- IF WE CAN GET TO THE AMICABLE RESOLUTION, WHY DO WE NEED THE DRAMA PART IN THE FIRST PLACE???

One more thing I just have to tell someone who might know what I'm talking about (no shouting needed here) - I had the strangest dream last night. In this dream, the Something Awful forums were a place in the real world. They were located in an industrial zone or something like that, with lots of brick walls everywhere. These brick walls surrounded the different forums and subforums; they were connected with dirt roads. All sorts of weird-looking people were hanging around inside these walls. Some of them, I think, were fighting. In this dream, I was heading to the Let's Play forum (I've been lurking there a lot recently). It was the most populated place in the whole dream, but also the most colourful and cleanest (there was almost no dirt there).

I HAD A SIMILAR THING HAPPEN TO ME ONCE WHEN I MOVED, DANIEL CHARMS- BILLS WENT TO THE OLD ADDRESS, DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THINGS UNTIL IT ALL WENT TO COLLECTIONS. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A $30 PURCHASE AT NY&CO, IT WAS A REAL P.I.T.A.

I USUALLY HAVE A GOOD IDEA OF HOW MUCH IS IN MY CHECKING ACCOUNT BECAUSE EVERYONE I WRITE CHECKS TO CASHES THEM IMMEDIATELY--EXCEPT THE IRS, WHO TOOK SIX WEEKS TO CASH MY/THEIR CHECK, AND I NOW HAVE $500 LESS IN THE ACCOUNT THAN I THOUGHT I DID. BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

MY HANUKKAH CANDLES ARE MAKING A HUGE MESS AND THE WAX-CLEANER I BOUGHT DOESN'T HELP MUCH.

I DISCOVERED THAT A 7-YEAR-OLD CAN OF DRANO WILL EVENTUALLY EAT ITS WAY THROUGH THE CAN. AND IT WON'T WORK IF YOU STILL TRY TO USE IT TO UNCLOG A DRAIN.

I'M IN A BAD MOOD BECAUSE I'M PUTTING EVERYTHING BIG OFF "UNTIL THE NEW YEAR", AND THE NEW YEAR IS COMING UP REAL SOON.

MY BOSS IS AN IDIOT. THERE, I SAID IT AND SHE WILL PROBABLY GOOGLE ME AND FIND THAT AND FIRE ME BUT JESUS, IT'S TOUGH SOMETIMES WORKING FOR SOMEONE SO VERY, VERY DUMB. SHE'S GOT A WHOLE THING SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE WEEKS AGO THAT NOW IS ALMOST TOO LATE AND SHE'S DECIDED TO GET ME TO DESIGN THIS CRAZY FORM THAT ISN'T GOING TO MAKE ANY SENSE. I WILL DO MY BEST BUT I FORESEE MANY UNHAPPY PHONE CALLS FROM CONFUSED PEOPLE IN OUR FUTURE. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO OR SAY. THERE ARE NO OTHER JOBS AROUND, EITHER, YET I REALLY AM REACHING MY LIMIT HERE. I DON'T MAKE ENOUGH TO LIVE ON - MUCH LESS TO PUT UP WITH THE MEANDERING THOUGHTS OF A GODDAMN FOOL - AND THE BUDGET GAP WILL HAVE EXHAUSTED MY SMALL BACKUP FUNDAGE WITHIN THE NEXT TWO YEARS UNLESS A MIRACLE HAPPENS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. SIGH.

JESUS ASSFUCKING MOHAMMAD WHY IS [REDACTED] SO GODDAMN CRAZY AND HOW HAS SHE BEEN ABLE TO KEEP LIVING WHEN SHE IS OBVIOUSLY COMPLETELY FUCKING PSYCHOTIC? SHE'S OBVIOUSLY FLYING THE BUILDING RIGHT IN TO A COCK-PUNCHING PLANE!!!DOES ANYONE NOTICE THAT THERE USED TO BE SIGNIFICANT OFFICE SPACE AVAILABLE AND NOW THERE IS THREE STORIES OF VACANCY AND GARBAGE!?!?!?!?!?!??!I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE WATCHING THIS UNFOLD IN NEW FUCKING YORK GODDAMN CITY I THOUGHT REAL ESTATE WAS SERIOUS COCKSUCKING BUSINESS HERE IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER. THREE STORIES OF FUCKING WORTHLESS JUNK AND NARCISSISTIC OCD HOARD BORDERLINE PSYCHOTIC BILE-FOR-BLOOD MONSTER AND FUCK GOD DAMN AND WATER-DAMAGE AND GARBAGE IN CUNTSUCKING [NEIGHBORHOOD REDACTED]!!!!!!! IF YOU HATE MAKING MONEY THAT MUCH GIVE THOSE MONEYS TO ME!!!!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE CLIENTS IN THAT SMURFING NARF-PILE?!? THEY ARE GOING TO FUCKING RUN FUCKING SCREAMING LIKE I SHOULD DO BUT I NEED THIS FRAKKING PITTANCE SO I CAN EAT BUT I HOPE [REDACTED] FUCKIGN ENDS OF ON THE SODDING STREET, HOMELESS, FCUKING ISHT IN A CART BECAUSE I CAN'T YELL ANY LOUDER ON THE INTERNETS PRESS CTRL-+ SEVERAL TIMES AND LEAN FORWARD THANK YOU FUCK GRAH GRARARAHRH BLBLALBALLBBLLLAAAAAAAARRRRRHHHHHHHr /> (a popping noise, a faint oder of burning plastic. fuq wipes away a trail of blood which started to ooze out of his nose.)


Oh, I uh... How did I get over here? It's 2:30? I... uh...

I GOTS ME AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF INTERROBANG'S BOOK!

OH THANK GOD I COULD USE SOME SHOUTING.  I’VE BEEN BURIED IN
APPLICATIONS FOR MY FRONT DESK RECEPTIONIST WHOSE LAST DAY IS FRIDAY. IN INTERVIEWS ALL DAY YESTERDAY, NO TIME FOR LUNCH OR BREAKS OR EVEN TO GODDAMN PEE. WHILE IN INTERVIEWS MY OTHER CLERK, BEEN WITH THE SECTION FOR 6 YEARS, QUITS BECAUSE I’M “ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK ALL DAY” AND SHE “CAN’T WORK LIKE THIS ANY MORE”. HER LAST DAY IS CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE. AND! MY ADMIN ASSISTANT WHO HATES ME AND HATES OUR BOSS AND HATES HER JOB AND HATES FUCKING EVERYTHING HAS TO HAVE SURGERY ON HER BACK NEXT WEEK AND WILL BE OUT FOR 2-6 WEEKS, WELL INTO JANUARY. THERE GOES MY CHRISTMAS VACATION, I HAVE TO CANCEL IT AND STAY HERE SO I CAN COVER THREE OF MY FOUR ADMIN POSITIONS. GAH.

carotid artery surgery sometime in the near future

GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING PERIODS CAN JUST FUCK OFF!! I'M TIRED OF ALL THE CRAMPS AND ACHES AND MESS!! MENOPAUSE NEEDS TO HURRY THE FUCK UP!!

what richat said THINGS AREN'T SO BAD, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. WISHING MUCH STRENGTH TO THOSE HAVING A WORSE TIME THAN I. YEAH!

ALSO GUY GETS HOME TOMORROW AND FOR THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE WILL NOT BE WORKING IN A DIFFERENT STATE FROM THE ONE IN WHICH WE LIVE. HOOOOORAAAAAY!!! BUT HE DOES GET TO SPEND THE WINTER SKIING AND I DO NOT. BOOO!!

STILL DON'T HAVE AN ESCAPE ROUTE BUT I HAVE A WEEKEND FULL OF GUY! AND HOLIDAY BAKING! AND HOLIDAY COCKTAILS!

My friend's batshit crazy fiancee had finally alienated EVERYONE in our tiny group, including her own fiance (the aforementioned Friend #1), by accusing our married Friend #2 of trying to steal Friend #1 for herself. Despite much drama, I was thrilled at the prospect of finally getting her to go away so we could all live normal lives.

Just typing anything about "drama" makes me ill.

THEN SHE ROPED THE SUPPOSED FIANCE-STEALER BACK IN AND CALLS HER "BFFs, YO" AND THE LATTER SAYS "I CAN'T HOLD GRUDGES FOR LONG" AND GODDAMMIT I WANTED THIS CHICK TO FUCKING GO AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

*****
ALSO WHY DOESN'T THE NICE LADY CALL MY BOYFRIEND BACK AND GIVE HIM THE WONDERFUL MAGICAL JOB THAT WOULD SOLVE EVERYTHING???

(He does have a job already, though, and last year at this time we were not even living in the same state, so that is something to be thankful for. So thanks.)

BUT SERIOUSLY HE IS WONDERFUL AND YOU NEED HIM IN YOUR OFFICE ALREADY OKAY

Unfortunately I am past the shouting stage and into apathy territory. So here it goes:

meh.

MY UNION LEADER IS HAVING A PISSING CONTEST WITH MY COMPANY AND THEY WANT TO STRIKE OVER A PIDDLING, STUPID, MINOR THING, TWO WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. AND WE WON'T GET A BONUS UNTIL IT'S SETTLED, WHICH I WAS REALLY NEEDING. F***. F***. F***. IF I DON'T DIE FROM THE STRESS OF THIS, HAVING NO MONEY, AND GETTING DIVORCED I THINK I WILL LIVE FOREVER.

I GOTS ME AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF INTERROBANG'S BOOK!

SO DID I AND IT IS REALLY GOOD!!!!

I'm actually pretty cool today, thanks.