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05 November 2009

Thanks. Hi Mecha. Just wanted to say thanks for all the nice thoughts regarding my cat. [More:] I felt the love, really. There was a lot of emotion around my cat's passing, because of a lot of changes in my life this past year. I ended my relationship of 14 years this past summer. Subsequently, I've had to open my house to a housemate. I finally gave notice from my part-time arts administration job, to pursue my own stuff. I am preparing to live in Hong Kong for 3 months or more on a residency. I seem to be drifting further and further away from my artform (theatre) into the more obscure and esoteric world of new contemporary opera, so it is like starting a new career. I just turned 35. Anyway, my whole life is changing so I am grateful for your presence here on this site. You all are reliably sympathetic and gentle ears. Thank you.
Actually, typewriter, it sounds mostly exciting. A new direction, a new place. Being in your mid-30s, which is a really great time. If I could have frozen at 35, I would have. It's enough experience and self-assurance to really stand on your own, but it's young enough to readily cast off what isn't working. You still have open choice and paths. You can still stay out all night and go to work at 8:00am.

I'm sorry about your cat; I know how hard that is. He sounded like a lovely companion. I'm also sorry about the relationship.

But the rest sounds really exciting. I hope it all goes well.
posted by crush-onastick 05 November | 10:09
It does sound exciting. I wish you luck on those ventures, and it sounds like you made a bunch of good, smart decisions.

And I really am sorry about your cat, too. It's harder than people think; they are members of the family, and the loss is real and felt in a lot of ways. It's about a year now since my cat died, and I still miss her. That makes it hard.

Good luck on all your endeavors!
posted by Miko 05 November | 11:38
This is a very supportive and kind community, and everyone should have such a soft and restful place to ome when they lose someone. Typewriter, I'm so sorry --- I wasn't here to offer sympathy earlier, but be assured you have it now.

One of the hardest things, at least for me, about grieving a pet is that we don't really have an accepted framework for it. This is a loved one, a family member, yet there's no formal mourning that is expected. Feel free to grieve here: everyone here has been through loss and knows that everyone's grief takes a different form, but everyone's grief deserves empathy and kindness.

Many of your other changes sound so exciting, but I can imagine that the effect of them together is occasionally unnerving. Thanks for sharing them, and know that this community will celebrate with you, too.
posted by Elsa 05 November | 12:36
I hadn't heard about your cat, I am so sorry. You must feel unsettled with so much change at once but I bet in a year you will be so grateful for these opportunities.

Have you heard about the seven year cycle in life? That every seven years you change so much you become a new person? The important years that have the most change are 7, 14, 21, 28, 35 etc. So you are right in the prime of a big, positive change,  I can't wait to hear of your adventures.
posted by saucysault 05 November | 14:06
I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier to offer sympathy, I 'get it' in so many ways, I loved my cats so. It's rough when cats (little furry family members) die, and I too had a cat death, a long term relationship breakup, a country move and a career change on my plate all at the same time not so long ago. The loss of my cat hit me so hard at that time - but also gave me a strange strength to change things, pick up my stuff and make it happen as I had been planning but not doing for a bit too long. (DTMFA was thanks to cat, really)

But your future sounds so exiting! Hong Kong! Contemporary opera! I wanna come! And you're still young don't let anyone or anything tell you different. 35 is the perfect year for positive change like saucysault says. Go for it!
posted by dabitch 05 November | 15:42
Oh typewriter I'm sorry about your cat. :( And I agree with others that the future looks like a giant exciting adventure for you! Bon apetit!
posted by chewatadistance 05 November | 20:57
Yes, life is changing. I feel crazy sometimes. I am giving up a part-time job that pays real money for some speculative money in a field hardly anyone is doing or funding yet. It seems crazy when I think about it too much...so maybe I shouldn't think too much and just do.

Elsa - Yes, because there is no framework for pet mourning it makes it a more lonely process. And thanks for the reminder that this community wants to celebrate too!
saucysault - I have not heard this theory but it is uncanny how I can lay out the years.

Not sure about 7 and 14, but the following milestones correspond:

age 21 - Graduation from theatre school, and getting together with my ex-partner, beginning of career as an actor
age 28 - Writing my first full-length play, began my career as playwright
age 35 - recognition for some opera work, renewed commitment to operatic form, ending of long-term relationship

AND THEN WHO KNOWS????
posted by typewriter 05 November | 22:39
Neil Patrick Harris: The Other Sort || What happened the other night

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